I don't know what's happening anymore.
I'm just hiding from everything. Just curled up in bed 24/7, blocking out everything by putting the record player on full blast.
I don't know where Pa's been. Not since a few days ago, when he just left. No note, no anything to figure out where he went. It's like he vanished off the plane of my world, and into the plane of the city.
I don't have any motivation to do anything aside from lie down and drink some of Pa's liquor stash. Who knew it would feel so good?
No wonder Pa loved this stuff.
Little Mongrel is still with me, busy staring at me from "his" corner of the room. He's the only companion in this room right now, aside from my regrets.
All this time's giving me a whole lot of - (liquor stain) - reflect.
I don't know what happened.
I had everything, you know? A loving family, friends, and a love interest here and there…I was on top of the social food chain. The alpha.
And then Ma left and everything left and I don't know if they'll ever come back anymore.
I don't know where she is, whether she's with another person or just alone somewhere, eking a life out of whatever she could find. All I know is that she isn't coming back. If she did…
I don't know if it will change anything, to be honest.
There's a hole. A hole in the center of everything. A hole in the center of me.
It's dragging everything in, taking away everything and leaving husks. My Pa, once a handyman, now a drunk. Bea… my friends… my life. All gone, just husks.
It's like a big black hole, relentlessly consuming everything. Until it implodes.
And next is me. I don't know if there's anything stopping this.
I don't think I'd want to stop it. There isn't anything saving anymore in me, or in anything in general.
I'm sorry Aria. I know you've been a great…everything in my life, but I think it's time to let go.