Blake's POV
I hadn't seen Jaden for 3 days and I was already starting to get worried. He was over at Neil's but then just disappeared after only the fourth call. Neil told me he didn't know where Jaden went. Probably lying to cover for my troublesome son. After what happened, I was positive that a little time away would do good.
I remembered my first argument with my parents. They wanted enforcing their Arons hierarchy by forcing me to Susan after she had gotten pregnant. At the time, Susan and I weren't doing good but I still decided to look past her cheating. Being tripped-out was her excuse but for the sake of what would be Jaden, I wanted it to work. I just didn't want to be forced into a marriage just to save face or forced to go to rehab, when I didn't consider myself to be an addict.
Typical denial.
I had had the most heated argument with my parents about the subject. Rushing out of the house, I rode my bike over to Susan's place to vent as I usually did. I just started spilling all the shitty things my parents had said to me. I was saying something along the lines of not being understood and all that teenage melodrama and had said something about wanting to forget about the whole Arons name.
"You want to forget?" she had asked and I shook my head dejectedly. That was when she scavenged through her drawers and took out a bag of white powder. I wasn't stupid, I knew exactly what that was but I thought that she was only dealing it. I choose to ignore the fact that maybe she had been using long before that. "That's what I use to forget."
"I ... I..." I didn't know what to say and blanked. The furthest I'd go was Amphetamines. Personally my choices were mostly weed, vicodin, Percocet, and OxyContin. Susan was always able to get them and had once told me that she had someone who'd write out fake prescriptions for her.
Still, at that moment, I was vulnerable and took the tiny bag in my fingers hesitantly. "Let it take you Blake. Let it take you and forget everything," Susan cooed.
I saw her eyes glittered, as she watched me line off the powder using a razor. I took the straw sniffing the substance up my nose. It burned as hell, as it entered my body. She was about to pick up the straw in her hand. I don't know what it was, but it hit me that she was pregnant and yet, she didn't seem to care.
"Susan, the baby," I said taking away the straw.
"...I don't want it," she suddenly said very gravely and then, like a switch her tone changed into a more gigglish delivery. "What I want is for you to give me back that straw."
I remember that night being the last time I ever touched the stuff. The very next day, I was back at the main house. I quietly agreed to take the rehabilitation course. Father didn't want a bastard grandchild, and I refused to marry just to save face. Going against Father wasn't the smartest but I stood my ground against him. In the end, he let me go but never spoke to me again.
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I sat there wondering if maybe Jaden would fall for some trap like that. After all, this was one of the most heated argument we've had. Actually, this was a more serious case, because as I now understand; my son had some sort of crush on me and I had been so cruel to him. All I could do now, was to eat my shit and wait till he arrived home.
What else was there to do? He wouldn't answer my calls, or messages. No one I knew had seen. To think that he'd be so serious about this. Does he really not see how wrong this was? I mean, Jaden is hella good-looking for his own good. I'm sure he could find some pretty girl, or guy? Why did he want an old decrepit man like me? Judging by his 'strike of absence', I just couldn't assume that this was a whim of his.
Then again, that phobia he has, is it because of that? After all, I've been the only one that could touch him when he'd go into one of his PTSD's attack. Thankfully, he never did have another attack after turning 13.
Suddenly, I heard the knob of the front door turn and opened. I ran to the thresh-hold, praying that nothing bad had happened to Jaden. Then in he walks... or more like the person who was once Jaden. In walks a young man, with wavy short brown hair, piercings and tattoos. He looked... different.
No, his look bowled me over causing me to feel suddenly parched. It was as if he had been sexified, I thought to myself. Woah there me, I thought mentally pausing myself, you've had little to ni sleep and now your thinking's just plan unbalanced.
Jaden was wearing a blue parka, black t-shirt and dark green trousers with a pair of low cut converse. He was looking just so different that I was taken aback. What had he done with his hair? Maybe it was just my mind playing tricks on me. I swear I could see his eyes waiting to see my reaction but I was too stunned to say anything.
While his previous long hair covered his face a lot, this new hair style showed his face in a different angle. I was seeing something that I hadn't notice before. With those eyebrows and that angular face, who did he remind me of just then?
Why am I going over the way he looks? I should be grounding his ass for not returning my calls.
"Where have you been?" I asked bluntly as we stared at each other awkwardly.
"I've been getting beautified," he said with a wink, faking me a smile as he tried to move pass me. Instantly, I moved to blocked his path, placing my hand on his chest to stop him and was about to give him a good scolding. He beat me to the punch by saying, "You know, I've always liked when you put your hands on me."
There was no amusement or flirtation intended but there was an underlying sense of sultriness in his voice, and my body reacted to the sound. Why is he staring at me in that way? It made me want to do something to him. "Jaden, stop this act! Right now!!"
"I have no other idea of how to get you to take me seriously," he answered with his unwavering gaze. "So I'm changing tactics to a blunt approach to win you over."
His body language, his voice, his manner of speaking were as if we were equals. I should've felt disrespected. I know this, but yet...
In all honesty, he's never really been a trouble maker. This had to be like a phase of some kind. The feeling of being an inept father was washing over me, leaving a bad taste in my mouth.
I ignored his comment. "Is this your way of telling me that you don't want me to date?" I asked point blank. There must be some reason why. He can't want this old man just because; I needed to know the reason, but I guess I was asking it all wrong.
"Really? Fuck!"
"Jaden!" I warned with a bark. I hated when he blasted off obscenities. It sounded so improper coming from him.
He shoved pass me angrily, duffel bag in hand. "You can act like it didn't happen Blake but I won't. You kissed me back. You felt something. Hide it all you want, but even if it's the last thing I do, I will make you love me."
"...But I do love you," I interjected. "Isn't the way I love you enough?"
"Blake..." he sighed, as if he had the entire planet on his shoulders. "Blake, my love for you goes to where I have the need to touch you, to have you touch me. I don't want you with anyone else but me. If... If you really don't want this... send me to reform school, military school, juvenile center. Heck, just ship me off to Bra, I don't care; just send me as far away as possible."
I rubbed my face tiredly. Do normal families go through this? Am I missing something here that would make a situation like this any better?
"Jaden, you know I won't do that. Look, can't we just talk? We've communicated before right?"
He folded his arms across his chest. "What? To have you give me the whole run down of why this is wrong, that I should find some one more suitable for me, maybe throw in a 'you-have-too-bright-of-a-future' speech?"
I opened my mouth to speak, but ended up closing it. He was right on the core.
That was exactly what I was going to do. All the tricks I knew were being thrown in my face. Am I that ineffective as a father? Am I really meant to be a father now? I felt powerless. I looked at my son. The fire in his eyes flickered like a campfire flame. Looking at me the way he was, it made me feel incompetent. For the first time in a long time, this attitude of his, did not remind of Susan at all. Being that the case, I didn't how to handle it.
I was at a complete lost and blanked once again.
Jaden sighed again, his eyes looking away as if he just realized something that I didn't. There was a moment of long silence and without a word, he encircled his arms around my torso, giving me one of his hugs that could melt an iceberg. I took a breath before returning his hug. He was so warm, that I had to give him a light squeeze back. We stayed like that for a long time. It was just us hugging, while his hand patted my back lightly and I gave his a rub.
"I'm sorry for worrying you Blake. I should've called,"Jaden whispered. "If it makes you feel any better, I was at Uncle Brad's house. He was gonna call you, but I asked him not to."
Exhaling, I let my chin rest atop his head. He wasn't a shorty by no means, but it was as if he was the perfect height for me to do so. "You're still going to be grounded. You know that right? Crush or without crush on me, I can still ground you for that stunt you pulled off."
Burying his head in my shoulders, he groaned and snorted frustratedly, but his hug got tighter. It brought a smile to my lips at how cute he was still able to be, despite our current situation. "So mean, and it's not a silly crush; I'm dead serious," he stated and sent me a scowl as he let go of me.
"And I'm dead serious too, Jaden. You get TV but no gaming and hand over your cellphone," I retorted. " Since you didn't bother to not text me to say that you were safe, I'm gonna assume that you don't have much use for it," I added to his back as he started up for the stairs.
"Oh man. That's just demonic of you," he complained sarcastically.
"Yeah, yeah. I eat children too," I said finally feeling the air lightening up between us.
"You can eat me," he stated. "I'll satisfy you," and sent me a playful wink before quickly running up the stairs but not before I saw the blush running up the nape of his neck.
Did he just...? Did he just outright hit on me?
I shook my head unable to keep the blush from reaching my cheeks. The only person I have ever dated was Susan. Shit, when I was his age, I wasn't even close to being that smooth. Since young, I'd always been a somewhat plain individual appearance wise. Jaden sure did have a weird tastes if he was directing his affections towards me. I couldn't help but to feel a little flattered and worried at the same time.
I'm worried because those arms that embraced me were trembling. For a second there, I thought, wouldn't it be nice, if maybe, I could let myself answer his feelings?
It would be really nice, if I could, wouldn't it?
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