I’m laying down on the bed looking at the window, raining. I felt broken, I felt like a failure. I never had succeeded on anything in my life, to my childhood dreams even in my own death. I never felt this broken in my entire life, before I just thought life was tiring and I shouldn’t be here. Now, I don’t feel anything anymore, only pain, fear, sadness, and nothingness.

The door opened “It’s time to go” Scott told me. I stood up and walked.

After we got in the car, there was silence. He didn’t want to start a conversation since that day happened. We were almost at his house but he suddenly passed it. “Where are we going” I asked, he exhaled “Rowan and I did some talking” I looked over at him. “We decided that both of you should live with each other for a while” “What” I said. “He did make great points, nothing will be resolved if both of you don’t solve it on your own. I said to him that it’s better if you stay in our home but he was right”.

We stopped at Rowan’s house and it was a normal house, nothing special. I got out but before I left the window opened. “Sean” I looked at Scott “It’s gonna be okay” I nodded and knocked on the door. I saw him wearing his shirt, seeing his abs. “Hey” he said, I nodded. He was giving me a friendly smile but deep down I felt scared. No one was here to protect or keep me safe. “Come on, I’ll show you your room” I followed him. “Oh you’re finally-” “Shut up ma” Rowan cut of his own mom. I felt a little bit angry of how he treated her like that, it’s very disrespectful.

“Here’s your room” he said. After that I just walked in and close the door, I didn’t want to let him in nor I want to see him. “Do you need anything” he said “I’m fine, you can just leave”. “Are you sure” “Yeah”.

I isolated myself, it was only me. I looked at the room and all my stuff was here. I heard barking from the door, I opened it and it was Bubbles while Elizabeth was sleeping. I grabbed him and he started whimpering “Are you okay boy, do you miss me”.

It was evening and I just stayed in the room with no one. Rowan would ask me if I’m okay every hour but I would just tell him to leave me. “Hey, I got you dinner, please open the door” He opened the door and walked over to the bed. He grabbed the bowl of soup and tried to feed me, “Eat” he said but I resisted. I was still scared for what happened. “Eat” he said again but I shook my head. “Eat!” he forcefully opened my mouth making me even more scared. Bubbles barked and he looked at me with a sad appearance, “I’m sorry, I should just leave you alone” he walked out of the room and I started crying.

It was the next day and Rowan was beside me all this morning, and I was getting annoyed. We were walking down the hallway when he decided to lighten up the mood when I’m almost at my limits.

“Hey maybe we could hang later, just the two of us” he said and I ignored “Maybe we could eat somewhere in the mall” I ignored “Or maybe hang out the arcade” I ignored. He brought out tickets “Maybe we can watch-” I snapped. I took the tickets out of his hands and ripped it apart. “WHAT DON’T YOU GET OF ME IGNORING YOU, I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE” I yelled. “YOU WANT TO BE FORGIVEN, FINE YOU’RE FORGIVEN, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE”. I continued walking.

———

It was evening and Rowan brought my dinner in my room and sat beside me. He sighed “I know that you’ve been through a hard time because of me and I don’t blame you” he continued “I don’t expect you to accept my apology but I just want us to start over so please” he begged “Give me at least one chance”.