It was the middle of summer but the skies were at their darkest and the thunder clouds rolled from a distance. The grounds were washed with scarlet hues as the blood of thousands of soldiers drenched into the soil. In the border of Kai and Shisho kingdoms stood a general looking up at the sky, watching and waiting for the first raindrop to fall. She stood their motionless and expressionless, grieving the death of her men despite her winning over the opposing army and will soon take back home the head of the Shisho battalion.

"General, we've won--" One of the soldiers hurried and rushed to congratulate their general, only to be stopped by one of her retainers midway. The tall man named Hadashi Zhou shook his head to the soldier, telling him not to bother the general and in response, the soldier bowed and dismissed himself. The commander Zhou glanced at his general who was also his childhood friend and he knew very well that she was at her lowest esteem.

General Shin Rin-ha was a warlord and struck fear into the opposing armies, she was known to be cold and heartless, having no records of sparing anyone on field. With an army of just a few hundred, she continued to expand the territories of her late father's kingdom and tear off the heads of armies composing more than thousands of soldiers. She was known as the 'Goddess of Death', many believing she was not human but a deity while others believed she was the daughter of the demon king himself. However, as much as the mortals fantasized about the background of the emotionless general, commander Zhou knew too well that she had to put up this façade.

As the rain continued to fall, washing away the blood on the ground, the young Rin-ha drew her sword to dig a grave underneath a large cherry blossom tree. It was then that the commander was approached by a soldier and whispered something to him and pointed to a direction not too far away from where they were standing. He sighed and asked the soldier to prepare their horses and return to the Kai Palace and the soldier complied, rounding up the rest.

"General." Zhou calmly stated, watching the general continuously hack the soil with her sword. Her face was hidden from him, her hair in a messy ponytail and some had already loosened up and fell in front, covering her eyes.

"General, they've found Kyu-So."

With his words, Rin-ha turned her head to face the commander, her ocean blue eyes were covered in tears that fell down to her cheeks. The commander was not too surprised with her expression and in a swift motion, he embraced the weeping general and hid her under his coat. Her sobs were stronger and finally, the pain she was holding back was out muffled by the war-stained robes of the commander. Never had she wept once in a war nor shed a tear for her comrades on their funerals but in the last battle, she had lost a commander and an intelligent tactician, Tsubaki Kyu-So, her lover.

"Rin-ha, I have been wondering."

"Hm?"

"Until when do you plan on becoming a warlord?"

"Until I find something better to do, and besides, it's not like I have a family to take care of."

"Then if you do have a family, then you will no longer go to war?"

"Of course, you idiot. But I don't think I'm fit to be a wife I mean, look at me, I've got sunburned skin, my hair is always a mess and see these hands? These hands aren't good for anything except for holding weapons. I can't even recite a poem, Kyu-So, so I guess I'll never be good for anything except becoming a tool for war. Only someone so desperate will take me as a bride."

"I'm not that desperate, Rin-ha."

"I don't get what you're implying—"

"I'm saying that I am not a desperate man and think of you as a last resort, you have always been my first choice and after this war against Shisho, I was thinking... that we should get married."

"Wait, are you asking my hand for marriage?!"

"Are you willing to give it to me?"

"When I come home carrying the generals of Shisho's head back, I will give you my answer."

The young general and the commander walked through piles of bodies, and her heart sank with every moment that she saw his custom-made helmet. It had the crest of the camellia flower, the symbol of the Tsubaki clan that stood proud of its intelligent and wise lineage. When Rin-ha, Kyu-so and Zhou were introduced to society as the retainers of the late king of Kai, Kyu-so had never been happier to receive a prestigious gift from the king.

"Are you sure you want to see his corpse?"

Ri-ha nodded and braced herself for the worst, but what she saw was not a mangled corpse but a peaceful-looking Kyu-so, his right hand holding his sword and the other clenching into his chest. The general cried, finally realizing the loss of her lover, remembering that she was to wed him after the war and regretful that she had not given him a proper answer. If she had said yes to Kyu-so, would it make a difference? She dropped on to her knees, praying to the gods that it would just be a bad dream but the pain she felt on her chest tells her otherwise.

"If only I said that I love him then probably, he would still be alive. It's my fault, Zhou, it's my fault Kyu-so is dead."

"He did not die in vain, Rin-ha, we both saw him on the field, it was to ensure our victory."

"Still, if I had been more careful..."

Commander Zhou sighed and held the general's shoulder, both of them saw how Kyu-so's intelligence had saved both of them and led their army into making a strong attack towards the enemy. When Rin-ha told the army to push forward, Zhou was led the vanguard forward, Rin-ha was with the cavaliers and Kyu-so planned the surprise attack from behind. However, Kyu-so's move was not to completely decapitate the opposing general but was a distraction for Rin-ha to make a successful attack in front. Indeed, the three famed warriors of Kai succeeded in the war but at the cost of Kyu-so being hit by arrows in the attempt to rescue Shisho's general.

"Let us give him a proper burial, Rin-ha. We must leave and take his body back to the Tsubaki household. Let our men make the graves for the others."

Rin-ha nodded and picked up the sword from Kyu-so's cold hands while Zhou lifted their comrade's lifeless body. A piece of metal fell from Kyu-so's clenched hand, and the sight of a golden ring was found falling into his own pool of blood. The commander bent down to pick it up for Rin-ha, wiping the blood off and placing it into her hands. Rin-ha's eyes grew wide, she covered her mouth in shock and her grief had led her into falling into the ground and blacking out.

"Wait for me, Rin-ha."

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His last glance had his warmest smile for a long time. Rin-ha's eyes affixed at her tactician, knowing that his strategy will win them the war and will eventually pave a way for her to finally rid herself from the bloodlust, and settle down inside the walls of Kai. She watched him as he charged backdoor of the opposing army, she watched him as he succeeded in creating a diversion, she watched him as she led her cavaliers into the inner circle of their barricade and she watched him as he took a hundred arrows that pierced his back, making him fall unto the ground. What happened after was a blur of dust and blood flying in all directions and her finding herself pushing her sword in the enemy's stomach with his agonized screaming echoing through her ears.

With their leader down, the soldiers from Shisho were captured and they surrendered. But amidst the victory cheers, she stood there in a blank daze, waiting for the smoke and dust to clear, praying so hard that Kyu-so will approach her and give her the embrace she longed for.

But minutes had past and everything in sight was clear, he was nowhere to be found. Her first instinct was to yell out his name, over and over again, but as she feared, he did not reply.

"Kyu-so! Kyu-so!" she screamed at the top of her lungs and suddenly, everyone around her disappeared. She turned around and saw Kyu-so, alive and well. Her mouth curved into a large smile as she sped up and ran towards her lover, tripping from the piles of bodies on the battleground but all she wanted was to touch him.

"Kyu-so!"

As her hand touched him, his body disintegrated into ashes. She frantically grabbed his remains but she was not able to revert him back to his physical state.

"Don't go!"

Before his face faded into the wind, she saw him smile.

"Rin-ha, I'm sorry. I guess, I can't be your husband after all."

"KYU-SO!!!"

Rin-ha woke up in an all too familiar place, her body covered in sweat and her eyes were drenched in tears. She breathed heavily and clasped her chest, her heart was pounding so hard that she had to take a minute or two to calm herself. A dream, she thought, looking around the room and realizing that she was back in the Kai palace.

Everything was dark and only the moon gave light to her lonely room which was in the highest tower in the palace. She remembered the day when her father died, and on the night of the funeral, Zhou and Kyu-sou had comforted her until she was able to fall asleep. She remembered the pain she had gone through before accepting the reality that death was inevitable. Rin-ha pressed her palms on to her face, trying to stop the streaming tears only to see a golden ring glitter on her finger. It was the ring from Kyu-so's hand that Zhou must have placed on her when she fainted.

She sighed. Everything was not what she expected, she wanted the ring but not the way she got it.

"Kyu-so." she whispered as she kissed the ring. "I wish I had said yes."

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