20th of Skivantul 2,198

Hello there. It’s me again, obviously... I don’t know who else it would be writing in this journal... I do apologize if I seem a bit out of sorts as it were in this entry, I’m still a bit rattled from the past few days. As you’ve seen, things haven’t really been going the greatest lately. Luckily, I will be seeing my therapist again tomorrow. I’m a bit worried because I have to bring this journal and have her talk to me about it and what I’ve been writing which, considering the things I’ve written, might not be the most pleasant time.

I have this constant fear that one of these days my therapist is going to just sit there and tell me that there is absolutely no hope for me and that I should stop seeing her, but I don’t want that. I feel as though she is one of the only things that keeps me grounded in my life and without her, I don’t know if I would be able to stay sane. Not that I’m even sure if the life that I lead or my mental state could really be considered sane by anyone with any kind of sense... I’ve never really been the one to exhibit the calmest or most collected aura.

I’ve often thought of asking someone with the Observer’s eye to take a look at me and see what my aura looks like. I’ve often imagined it would be quite the split presence, possibly having two very different sides to it to represent the dual personalities of Astralik and I. Sorry about that... didn’t mean to ramble on so much about something so trivial, it’s not like that really matters right now, especially considering I haven’t even talked about the rest of yesterday or today’s events.

As for today, not too much happened. I woke up, had my morning coffee and then went to work where we did some more testing. I made sure to stay as far away from the lightning angler and its blood as I could. I still wasn’t quite sure if what happened was entirely the result of the testing of the blood and the shock, but I certainly didn’t wish to take any unnecessary risks to my own health. There was also the fact that my colleagues didn’t wish to have me anywhere near the stuff either.

As for yesterday, after I finished that entry, my journal was quickly confiscated to be returned once we had finished all the tests. They did a lot of blood tests which I was not too fond of, I’ve never really been one who enjoys having my own blood removed in any capacity, but I do suppose that is most people. After they finished with the testing, I decided to get a bit more rest, that day had left me quite exhausted. After I woke up and they ran a few final tests on me, I was released to go home. I had myself a light dinner and then I went to bed and woke up to go to work.