27th of Skivantul 2,198

Hello, it’s me again. I’m back here to write another entry. I’m very sorry about how abruptly the last entry ended, it was just that thinking about all that was making me quite uncomfortable and I didn’t really want to continue writing anymore after that. I actually asked if I could take a bit of time off from the research center to deal with what had happened and my boss said that that would be fine and I was very gracious for that, I really just needed some time to process and simply deal with what was happening in my life and what exactly I was going to do. I’ve decided that, barring any unforeseen circumstances, I’m going to simply resume things and go back to working at ANCR as I was before; Researching medicine to make people’s lives better while also trying to find some kind of cure to whatever is wrong with me.

I actually came back to work today and everyone seemed quite happy to see me again, I can’t really imagine why though, it’s not like I’ve been bringing much light or help to the team these past few weeks... In fact, I may be proving more of a detriment than anything else. I really will never understand people, I sometimes think that we aren’t even remotely the same species, they just seem to function so much differently than I do. They’re always so happy and full of life, talking and laughing with those that they find close to them, but then I supposed I have not allowed myself the luxury of living life as though I were just another normal person who can blend in to the crowds and spend my time actually enjoying what life has to offer and what I can.

All I’ve ever done is simply wrap myself up in my work and let the rest of the world dissolve around me, so that I can’t hurt or be hurt others. That’s probably what’s best for everyone in this situation, it makes sure that everyone stays at least content and at the end of the day content is better than hurt or dead. It may seem like a pretty grim outlook on life to most, but it works for me and I’d much rather see others living good lives and being happy than I would be so selfish as to risk others just so that I can be happy.

Oh! I almost forgot! There is actually some light in this that may at least attempt to counteract all this glumness that I’ve been shining throughout the rest of this. At work today, we received a shipment of new supplies from all across the world and most excitingly of all, there was a rumor floating around that we received some pure destruction essence! Most people won’t understand why that is so exciting as most people are far too afraid of anything that comes from or is in any way associated with Ser, but to me, it promotes brand-new opportunities for me to research and test!