Day 30

Dear Diary,

It's been long since we last talked. Mostly because I haven't had much to say. It's weird, all this time I wanted someone to talk to, and now that I do, I have nothing to say. I mean, should I tell you about my past, my present or my future? I doubt I can tell you much about my future, I can only really tell you what I hope it will be.

I guess I'll start with the past. I used to like winter far more than summer. Sure, the ice and snow made some things like walking harder, but it just felt somehow better. It was more convenient clothing wise because you could always just put on more clothes if you were cold. It felt comfortable. But now, now it's just hell.

Now onto the present. I haven't been keeping track of which month it is, but my rough estimation is that it's somewhere around september. It sure doesn't feel like a september. The weather is bitter, cold and unforgiving. Everyone has either vanished or is frozen. I'm not sure how I managed to survive this long.

The future doesn't look bright, if it even exists. I don't have many years to live out either way. I don't know if it's the radiation, the cold or just my body giving up, but I feel less and less like an able bodied human and more of as a toddler crying for its mommy after it had an accident. 

I just wish I could find someone, someone alive, someone who isn't a fucking book. 

I'm sorry, that was rude of me. 

Anyway, my leg still hurts, sometimes more, sometimes less, there's probably something wrong with it, but I'm not a doctor so nothing much I can do about it. I did raid the town's hospital, though, found painkillers. I'm considering using them, but I don't know if it would impede my judgement.

I've considered taking the easy way out, but I remembered that I don't have any tools that would make it easy so I just gave up on that idea. I guess I will have to live out my days in this frozen hellscape. At least I have you.