I open up the menu and browse all of the menu items. Almost no prices start with a number less than a two and the only ones that do are either a drink or still start with a one. The numbers alone are giving me anxiety.

As I start reading through the actual foods, I’m brought to a loss. There’s no descriptions of anything and I have no clue what half of the words even mean. I look nervously from the menu to Charlie and back. I want to ask what the foods are but I’m too embarrassed. “Charlie?” I look up at Luke with a raised eyebrow. “What are you thinking of getting? Don’t worry about the prices, get whatever you want.”

I hesitate for a moment, desperately trying to wrap my head around the foreign words, before settling on a passive aggressive ‘fine’ in response. I raise the menu a bit higher so he can’t see any confused expressions I may let slip out.

Seven years pass before our waiter arrives. He’s an average looking guy in what I assume is a typical fancy restaurant uniform. “Hi there Mr. Ito! Pleasure to have you with us tonight. Who’s your friend?”

“Oh, this is Charlie. He’s my new butler and I felt like I should take him out to a nice dinner for his first day.” I peer over the menu at the two of them.

“How nice of you! Pleasure to meet you, Charlie.” I don’t respond. “Well, can I get the two of you some drinks? Or perhaps an appetizer to get started?”

Luke looks down at his menu for a second, running his finger along the page. “May I have… Let’s do the house sauvignon blanc.” What the hell did he just say?

“And for you sir?” The waiter is looking straight at me. It only serves to make me more nervous.

“Just water.” I drag my eyes back down at the French textbook in disguise. The waiter asks again about appetizers and Luke confirms that we don’t need any. Once the waiter leaves, I come up with a solid plan. I close the menu and place it beside me. I look at Luke with an innocent shine in my eyes. “You’re a regular here, right?”

Luke perks up in his seat, clearly ecstatic I finally talked to him. “Yes! I am! The food here is absolutely to die for. What are you thinking of getting?”

“That’s the thing. There’s just too many options that sound… to die for. So I was thinking perhaps you could order for me? You have to know what the best foods here are, no?” I put on a disingenuous smile and hope he falls for it.

He does. “That sounds like a wonderful idea! I think I know exactly what to get you. Thank you for trusting me, Charlie.” He reaches across the table and tries to touch my hand. I slide them back the moment he makes contact. I lean back in my chair and let out long breath that makes it clear that I haven’t forgiven him just yet. He sighs and looks down at the table. “I promise I’ll make it up to you, Charlie. I promise.”

I doubt it. The waiter returns with a bottle of white wine in a bucket and a metal pitcher. He places the bucket down and pours water from the pitcher into the empty glass in front of me. He moves to the wine, uncorks it, and pours a glass for Luke. “Are you two ready to order?”

Luke smiles at me. “I think so.”

“Would you like your usual, Mr. Ito?”

“Yes please, Bradley. My friend here would like the filet mignon, medium, with lobster tail on the side.” The waiter nods and walks away without another word. “This is going to be the best steak you’ve ever had. I can guarantee it.”

“Well it’s going to be the second steak I’ve ever had so, probably.” I cross my arms.

“Really? Last night was the first steak you’d ever had? I find that hard to believe.” He shakes his head in disbelief.

“Believe it or not, when you’re collecting people’s thrown away cans to try and make four dollars on a good day, ribeyes aren’t usually on the menu.” It’s clear that he’s realizing his mistake.

“I’m sorry, Charlie. I didn’t know. I promise though, you’ll never have to do anything like that again.” His grin returns. “And you can have steak whenever you want.”

Torturing him is getting a bit sad. “I think two nights in a row is enough for a while.”

He laughs awkwardly. “I forgot we had steak last night. But if you thought mine was good, this piece of meat is going to blow you away.”

“Phrasing.”

“What?”

“Think about what you just said, Luke. Just say it over again in your head.”

Luke sits for a moment recalling what he’d said. Slowly, a grin grows across his face. “Who says I didn’t mean it that way?”

I look at him in disgust. He smiles wider and takes a sip of his wine. “So are you gay? Or…” The question clearly caught him off guard. He nearly chokes on his wine and coughs a few times while putting his glass down.

“Sorry, what?”

“You’ve been trying to feel me up since you kidnapped me, you tried to watch me shower, you’re making all of these innuendos. Are you gay or not?”

There’s an awkward silence. I stare at him to make sure he knows the question isn’t going away. “Heh, I suppose I was being a little forward, wasn’t I?”

“Just a little.” I make sure to sound unenthused.

“Well, I guess you’d ask eventually.” He sits up and gives me a soft look. “Yes. I’m gay. Do you have a problem with that?”

“I have about a thousand problems with you. You being gay is not even on the list.” I uncross my arms, resting my elbows on the table. “Is that why you ‘hired’ me?”

He can’t even make eye contact anymore. “I’d be lying if that wasn’t part of it.” He snaps his head back up trying to plead with me. “But I really did want to give you this second chance. I really wanted to help you. Do something good.”

I place my head in my hands and rub my face in disbelief. I look him straight in the eyes. “So I’m just kind of some fetish fulfilment and charity case all wrapped up in a nice bow? You have some kind of butler thing? Is that what this is all about?”

“No! No! You’ve got it all wrong. When I found you: you were bloody and beaten. You would’ve died out there. Or worse, you would’ve been picked up by an ambulance and been buried in debt for the rest of your life. I saw opportunity in you. I saw a chance to put my various blessings in life to good use. A chance to help.”

“I didn’t ask for your help.”

“You needed it.” He turns serious. “You should be thankful. This is your second chance to change everything around - to make your life better. Just let me in. Let me help you.” I stare silently. “You’ll thank me one day. I know it.”

“And here you are, sirs.” The waiter interrupts our conversation with food. He sets them down in front of us and tells us to enjoy. Luke and I eat our meals in silence.

It was a good steak.