It's not like I make the choice

to let my mind stay so fucking messy.

ー Chester Bennington

Autumn

MY NAME SUCKS, and I've known that fact for as long as I lived. Even North West was a better name than Autumn Summers.

The only good thing was that I didn't get bullied because of it. Well, I didn't get bullied at all since I was Queen Bee. I ruled the school like the back of my hand. No one dared to bully me. Not for my name, or for how fucked up my family was

My dad, Thornton Summers, was a good-looking son of a gun. Everyone—from the financial magazine writers to my friends' moms—knew that. With baby blue eyes and dark hair, he could pass as a model.

He was a great businessman, and he always made the right call to keep his business empire alive. However, he was not a great dad. He spent most of his time at work; so busy building his empire that he neglected his family.

He married my mom, Ava Smith, not because he fell madly in love with her, but because my big brother, Steven, was in her womb.

Yep, it was a case of marriage by accident or what we like to call an MBA. There was no love, but there definitely was a strong attraction a long time ago, or else I wouldn't be here today.

Sad thing was the attraction or whatever it was disappeared, leaving nothing but trails of betrayal.

About eight years ago when I was only nine, and Steven was twelve, my dad went home earlier than usual to find my mom on top of the kitchen counter riding the neighbor, Josh Dvorak.

I remembered him beating the shit out of Mr. Dvorak before dragging him all the way to the front door, and dumping him right outside our condominium door. Those were dark days when dad clung to alcohol to make him feel better.

He stopped his addiction after he found something better to do: to get revenge. With his good look, it wasn't hard to find willing ladies to share his bed.

My mom felt bad at first, but after he started to sleep around, so did she. Guilt was long forgotten.

You are probably wondering why the hell they still stick together. They said they had an arrangement about their sex life outside the marriage vows, and they stayed married for us, Steven and me. But if you asked me, I would say they did it to save their career.

Mom was a well-known newscaster; she couldn't afford her broken marriage to affect her image. Dad had his business empire—divorce would only mean splitting his money and many, many other unnecessary ordeals. So they both agreed to stay married and keep their shenanigans under the radar.

Now you know why I wasn't bullied. Having both famous parents, everyone treated Steven and me differently and looked at us with so much awe.

If only they knew how fucked up our family was behind closed doors, if only they knew how painful was to watch what used to be a happy family falling apart.

To come home to a huge but empty condominium unit with no one to greet you, but your family maid, Alberta.

People only believed what they wanted to see, the outer look. No matter how deceiving.

I slung my backpack over one shoulder and went downstairs where my best friend, Jess, was waiting for me.

"Ready to go?" She smiled and I grinned back at her. "What took you so long?" She asked whilst pressing the elevator button to call the lift to take us to the first floor. Jess always picked me up every morning, and we went to school together in her car.

Rolling my eyes I nudged her arm. "Please, you didn't wait that long, bae." She smiled and nudged me back. "How's Colton?" I asked her about her beau, the handsome quarterback, Colton Barnes.

She smiled every time she heard his name mentioned. They've been dating for a year now and have been inseparable since. "He's so tired," her smile faltered a little as she furrowed her forehead, "With football practices and all." Shrugging she turned to face me. "What about Ash? Did you two have fun last night?"

My mind went to the text I received from him around nine pm last night, canceling our plan at the last minute. It said he had something to do. It was the first time he had ever done that, and I must say I didn't like the anxiety growing in the pit of my stomach, it made me wonder where he was and with whom.

But we had a deal and there was no back door out of it. I sighed heavily.

"Hey, are you okay?" I flicked my eyes back to my bestie, there were concerns in her eyes, and I fought the urge to hug her and convey what I was feeling to her.

Putting a lazy chillax smile, I poked her arm once more. "Why wouldn't I be?"

On the way to school, I pulled my phone out and sent a text to Joe.

Have free time l8r?

Less than a minute later, his reply arrived.

Yeah. Wanna come by?

I smiled and quickly replied.

Around 8. C U. xoxo 💋

My phone blinked one more time and I glanced at the screen.

I'll be waiting. I'll leave the front door open. ❤️

It was always nice to talk to Joe. I didn't need to wait for a minute or two before replying like girls always did to boys. I didn't have to do all the bullshit conversation that did nothing but waste my time. We've always been straightforward with what we wanted and that was the beauty of our relationship.

My first class was Math. I didn't know who was stupid enough to make my brain hurt in the morning. Math should be the last subject, not a starter. I sighed and took my seat behind the Canadian nerd who moved here last summer. He always sat in the front row, and since I wasn't doing so well on Math—unless I paid full attention to class—I sat in the second row, right behind him.

He shifted in his seat as if he knew I was mentioning him on my mind. What's his name again? It was so easy to forget someone like him. By the time we graduated, I probably wouldn't remember him. He was not the popular guys and he didn't join any clubs so I doubted I would recall a total nobody.

"Good morning, class." Mrs. Fletcher came in, carrying a thick Math book under her arm, and a Starbucks cup in her hand. "Mr. Vincent, would you please enlighten me on what we studied last week?"

Oh yeah! His name is Tyler Vincent. I let out a giggle, it was funny that his name sounded so cool yet he looked super lame with his buttoned-up shirt and thick glasses.

"Or maybe you could help me instead, Ms. Summers?" Hearing Mrs. Fletcher's alarming voice, I abruptly sat straight up in my seat. Well, fuck!

The nerd glanced back at me over his shoulder and there was a hint of a smile playing on his lips. I wasn't the type to be intimidated, yet there was something that made me feel small when he was looking at me that way.