Well, there I was.

Just me, those two sweet guns, my wallet with seven dollars, and a picture of a car I like. As I made it to the fifth floor, I headed down the hallway where courtroom A-16 is, & I seductively looked at the room where I was supposed to receive my award that day.

Guess I was late to the party.

I punched a random dead body to amp myself up for what's to come, and soon after I rushed inside to see...

More dead bodies. I laughed for some reason. I should see a therapist.

As I searched people's pockets for change (bravely of course), I noticed that there was a young man who put his hand up, waved and weakly said "help..." So I went up to him and asked what had happened here. He looked at me and explained that someone walked into the courtroom and began shooting everyone with a laser™ gun that shot actual bullets and was probably not really a laser™ gun. I still to this day don't know why he said all of that. He then began cackling and stated "He's coming for you! He's coming for youuuuu! Also I was thinking of a pretty good meme, sorry I cackled, I'm actually pretty sad and nervous right now, just know that you should..."

He was sadly cut off as he drew his last breath. He dun did died. Died like a person doing a bad exposition monologue that was abruptly cut off to bring dramatic effect to a story. He will be missed, whoever he was.

So now I know. He's coming for me. I'm ready.

"Hey, Maniac!" I screamed, "I'm locked and loaded, and ready to kick some ass!" As I'm saying that, I hear footsteps heading towards my vicinity, and I prepare to shoot them immediately, because this is America, & there's no time for slippin' up. Suddenly I see a woman's face peer out from the corner and she says, "Please, help us!" I courageously shoot at her, but I miss because I never learned to aim or have patience or empathy for my fellow man. "Sorry," I blurted out with obvious falsity, "how many of you are there?" "There are dozens of us," she blurted out, "DOZENS! nah, I'm kidding there's four of us. I'm using humor to suppress my deep anger and sadness that is exponentially rising due to our current predicament. Halp."

They walked out towards me. It was one woman, two young children of indeterminate sexual genders, and an angst riddled teenage boy who is so stereotypical he practically breathed out sarcastic remarks. "We were hiding in the bathroom next door." stated one of the children. "It was SOO much fun..." exhaled the sarcastic teen boy with rugged bad boy looks. "We heard you yell idiotically and want to join you," stated the woman, "so that we can escape this maniac's grasp. We heard he might have a laser™ gun on hand, and he's killed everyone else, so we're pretty scared. There were twenty of us, we're all that's left."

"Damn, That's dry yo." I replied, showing my age.

I lifted my guns in the air and I tried to say a really witty quip indicating they should follow me, but I realized all the great movies and TV shows of yesteryear took all the best ones, so I just blurted out "Corn! Shit, I mean follow me!" and we headed out the courtroom towards the nearest elevator.

As we pressed the elevator button, we noticed a person dressed in black at the other end of the hall. The face was covered in a mask of like a pink dog or something, and they said "Hey boss, there's more over here!" Pink dog then started to prance towards us pretty gracefully & honestly, I was impressed. The Elevator doors opened and we rushed in and pressed the button to go down, so we could escape through the back.

One of the children started pressing the other buttons of the elevator, causing the door to close even slower somehow, and the door closed just milliseconds before pink dog could get in.

We all looked in horror as we realized & saw that we had to go through each floor before we could make it to the basement, thanks to that stupid kid and his finger of... stupidness. Stupid.

We all looked at each other and I said, "well folks, I thinks It's safe to say: We're in for one helluva Ride."

I think the teen bad boy kid laughed sarcastically after I said that.

That hurt. Damn him and his charming bad boy ways.