You never forget the first time you meet someone.

Yet Evan had never remembered the first time he met Jade or Matt or Ama. They just weren’t there one year, and then they were there the next. That’s how it played out in his mind.

Even more, he didn’t deserve them. One after another, they offered him gifts he could never give himself. A book to read. A pat on the back. A kiss. He didn’t know if he really deserved it.

His wall of texts came from the three of his friends, since they were the most concerned about his safety. Each began with the innocent “where are you?” and slowly dissolved into panicked “You didn’t do anything, did you?” For each, Evan had to begin with an explanation of his progress and his sudden absence. He was tempted to copy and paste each text to all of them, since his responses were so long they often exceeded the word count. Instead, he decided to send it to a group chat.

Evan did not get a response in the group chat until third period the next day.

All of their responses surprised him.

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Evan went to each of his teachers before the school day began and got the work his missed, all compounded into stacks of papers. Each teacher smiled knowingly. Evan didn’t realize the meaning until the bell in first period rang.

The first day he came back to school was a celebration. His first period teacher had planned a party for him, a welcome back party, as if Evan had left on a mysterious trip and returned with a new soul. Some of his friends from other periods arrived, bearing letters or small gifts.

Cake and forks and plates came out. Wishes for his health were spoken. Hugs and smiles were exchanged. Evan smiled, loving the feeling of gushing warmth flowing from everyone and the positive attention placed on him.

But in the back of his mind remained the lingering thoughts of what lay behind him and what lay before him. Behind him was a mess of a life in pieces. Before him was a chance to start over.

And as first period came to an end and final hugs were given, Evan continued his merry way through math and chemistry. He never knew he had missed those classes, with their numbers and equations or science experiments and periodic tables.

It wasn’t until towards the end of chemistry, third period, when reality came knocking at his door again. The weight of friendship settled in when Evan’s phone vibrated silently in his pocket.

Evan had received a string of text messages from his three friends.

Each had responded with variations of: “I know.”

They knew? As beakers and textbooks were being put away, Evan sat, mildly confused, in his seat up front. He didn’t know how to respond after this. What else was there to say?

In his mild surprise, Evan didn’t even notice when the class bell rang. He still sat frozen in his seat.

His teacher snapped his fingers.

“Evan, are you okay?”

Evan nodded his head, blushing. “Yes! Yes, everything is fine!” And he ran out of the room, onwards to Mr. Schrödinger’s class.

Evan went over the events, over the text messages in his mind. His friends expected this. Evan’s mental state deteriorated in the exact way they’d planned. And he’d ended up in a hospital, and exited with medication, as if this was a standard procedure for anyone with the same experience.

What does he text now, as an explanation? That he was sick of life? That he had been lost? That he tried to kill himself? What else was there left to say if his friends already knew it all?

Another text appeared, from Jade. “See you in lunch.”