Evan made it through half of the day without realizing. It was when he was packing at the end of fourth period, holding his pencil pouch in his hand, that he stopped.

When had he organized today?

A mild wave of anxiety rushed him. Is this…is this normal?

He counted back a few hours, as if retracing his steps mentally. He did recall putting some pencils in order earlier, but he did it as an afterthought, as mindless as one cracks their knuckles. And he did check the time, but not…to an excess.

It felt as if he was still obsessing, but the thoughts were just toned down.

Evan felt mildly put off. This is what he wanted. Or at least he thought. It felt odd, to have such a large block of his life suddenly taken out of him. He hoped he didn’t collapse, like this, without his obsessions.

Before he started to overthink, he shoved his pencil pouch and the rest of his items into his book bag and raced out into the hall. No. The medication was meant to help. No panicking, he swore.

Evan had better things to look forward to-

Like the bright green sweater of a certain blonde walking to the lunchroom. Evan ran to him, almost crashing into his shoulder.

“Evan! I’ve never seen you so hyper- oh no, come here! You’re getting a hug.” Jade wrapped his arms around Evan, ruffling his hair. Evan didn’t mind the affection in the least bit.

Jade let him go. “I bet everyone’s waiting for you already.”

Evan smiled. He walked to the door, ready to open it.

“But first.” Evan’s hand dropped. Jade stopped them both, right in front of the closed blue doors. Evan, through the window of the door, could see movement and faces of other students in the corner of his eye, like looking into a new world. He looked at Jade in confusion.

Jade put his hands on his shoulders. “Evan. You owe me an explanation for those last texts you sent me.”

Evan looked away, looking down the empty hallway behind them.

Jade’s voice almost echoed as he spoke. “I’m glad, in the end, you got help. But… the surviving part was very close. Close call. Too close. You could have- “

“I’m sorry.”

Jade smiled, almost sad. He dropped his hands. “Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. But please, for my sake and the others, don’t leave again.”

Evan looked away again. Words… have a hard time forming in his mouth. He had both too much to say and nothing to say at the same time. “I was just upset-“

When Evan turned back again, tears were running down Jade’s face. His eyes widened.

“Please don’t do that again.”

Evan came to Jade, slowly, taking him into a hug of his own. Evan could feel him shaking. He didn’t even know Jade could cry.

Nor did he know he’d affected so much. From the teachers to his parents to his friends, he didn’t know his pain had a trickle-down effect, one that seemed to leave a lasting scar. A scar that kept bleeding.

Evan didn’t mean for this to happen, but it was the price that he had to pay.

Jade pulled away from him, wiping his face. “Alright, enough tears. We have people to meet and trashy food to eat.” He put an arm around Evan, pulling open the lunchroom doors. “And there is no way I’m not pulling my best friend along with me!”

They entered the brightness of the lunchroom, the loud chatter a warm welcome and the atmosphere of pure socialization filling Evan with mild joy.