For one thing, I am not a fan of Brión Siadhail whom countless of girls around the world fantasized about to be their boyfriend. Though I won’t reject the fact that Siadhail is indeed a handsome young lad with heightened boyish features, I never thought of liking or having a crush on him. But I could tell you one thing: I know countless of things about Brión Siadhail that no one in the world knows about.
Like the fact that it is indeed true that his father was against him entering the wide-screen industry, pushing him to be like his father, who is an Irish Air Force General. That the reason he enters the industry is because of his mother’s influence being a retired famous model and actress of her time as well before she married his dad. That he is a massive fan of Star Wars that he’ll surely die of happiness if he lands a role in its upcoming movies, or how he always forced me to come along with him to watch any new release of the franchise at the first hour on the first day of its showing. That it is a lie if anyone says that he favors vanilla than chocolate, because… hell, he has a sweet tooth on anything as long as it is chocolate. That it is true that he is a heavy sleeper, and loves Assassin’s Creed. That he is a complete book nerd, and food enthusiast. That he didn’t enter in a relationship with his always on-screen lover Katherine Joyner; not to mention that he never even dated or court any girl at all throughout his life.
And most of all, that Brión Siadhail has much more secrets than the world thought of him. He keeps his family history a secret after all to the world because of his father’s influence. Not to mention that the very name that his fans thought of or his haters loathe about, is not even close to his real name.
That one, at least I am good at keeping it as a secret.
Because Brión Siadhail is currently driving me home. And this is what every girl dreams about; for Brión Siadhail to take her back home.
For me, he is simply Sam Bryce Beltrami, son of Air Force General Darien Haul Beltrami and actress Lauren Taylor, who I won’t met if he wasn’t diagnosed by my father to be anemic when he was nine years old. You could all linked the pieces then together at that point, and yeah, ever since that time, we’ve been the best of friends.
“There’s something big going on,” I say at the time we’ve reached the first stoplight.
He follows the road rules very well that I can’t believe that he was awarded with a penalty a year ago for driving when he was drunk on his way home from the after-party held when they’ve finally wrapped-up the Attrazione that they’ve filmed in Venice that got a slot in the Cannes Film Festival last June, earning him the Best Actor award. Probably he earned a strict scolding from his father that time that he tends to be so observant with traffic rules right now. He turns to me, somehow perplexed to admit, “What do you mean by ‘big’?”
“You’re acting weird. You’re laughing at first then go back to an old man as if he needs to worry about the weight of the world. Let me remind you again, and as I always does, you’re not the Prince of Wales or the Duke of Cambridge who needs to worry about succeeding the throne of Great Britain. And don’t use the fact that you’re father’s a baron that there’s a tendency, because believe me, it is way too far for you to be considered a king one day, Honourable Sam Bryce Beltrami.”
The stoplight finally turns green, and he leads the car onward then. He frowns. “What are you talking about?”
“Okay, let me list it for you. So first you’re acting weird of picking me up from the cinema and currently driving me back home. Second, you are in the mood of teasing me at first, then you suddenly became serious; enthusiastic like a little child wanting to play to one old serious man. What is really wrong with you?” I pout as I question him.
For a long moment, he didn’t say anything. When we are about a block away from our home, he speaks, “I received a call from my agent early this morning, telling me that I got the role for a Star Wars character. I still don’t know who the character is since when I auditioned about five months ago, there’s only a series of lines to be delivered and the emotions needed for that character.”
“Really?!” My eyes beam at him with absolute delight. I am incredibly and genuinely happy for him since this is probably his greatest wish as an actor. “So when’s the production for it?”
“I’ve been deciding on turning it down,” he answers as he keeps his eyes focus on the road.
My eyes widen in complete shock and I can feel my heart drop at that very moment. I know how much he tried to audition, how much he wanted to be a part of the franchise, and all of a sudden, right now, he is thinking of not doing so. I ask him, my voice undeniably rising, “What do you mean by that?! Shall I remind you as well that this is Star Wars we are talking about, and that you’re finally casted for a role? This is your greatest dream, right? To one day be part of Star Wars? And you are giving me that damn that you are thinking of turning it down? What happened with that?”
I didn’t realize that he’d already stop in front of our pale beige painted house with a very large lawn.
Then he finally turns to me before I could even move out of his car barely knowing his reasons or even hearing his explanation. And when he does, he can’t even look at my eyes directly. But his words are clear when he speaks, “I am considering what Dad told me about a week ago.”
I remember that time. Exactly last week. It was raining heavily outside, and I am all alone at home that day since my father was busy entertaining his patients at St. Luke’s Hospital, and my mother said earlier that day that she needs to finish a presentation to the school board about her plans for the coming semester as one known doctor of physics. Though I was always told by my parents never allow a stranger in, it wasn’t like Sam is a stranger or someone they don’t know. So, okay, Sam just walked right in front of our main door, and chimed the doorbell that caused Buzz, the Siberian husky pup he’d given me as a birthday present last month, to run just to greet him. But surprisingly, he was standing on our front door completely wet from head to toe; and looking behind him, I didn’t see the hint of his flashy car or even a transport he probably had used to just be there at that moment.
“Hey,” I greeted at him, my voice a little shaky if I remember it. I know truly that there are times that Sam suddenly arrives in our front door just to kidnap me for his usual tactics of going out in public on his disguise. But at that time, I know that he was not in front of me to do such thing.
He didn’t answer and his eyes were casted onto our feet. He was chilly, shivering from the cold. He told me later on that he decided to exhaust himself in a run than to throw his anger at General-slash-Baron Beltrami. He just ran a complete one mile from their home just to meet me.
I then widen the door much more and ushered him, saying as my voice turned small and worried all at once, “Come in. Let me get you something for you to dry yourself off.”
I am somehow relieve at that moment that he followed, that he entered in. I mentally noted to myself that I’ll wiped the trails of rainwater later on the tiles before my parents got home, and leave him for a moment to hurriedly recover a clean and dry towel for him from the drawers upstairs.
Once I saw him downstairs again, on the living room, I am surprised that he hadn’t moved an inch at all from where I’ve left him. He was still standing at that exact same spot, causing a much bigger puddle of rainwater to pool around him, and he has his head still lowered down, as if the intricate pale tiles of our flooring caught his whole attention. He wasn’t actually looking at Buzz even if the pup bit his pant leg, ushering him to sit on the sofa, and didn’t let go off his pant leg even if rainwater falls on his furs from Sam’s dripping wet body.
I hesitantly walked towards him and draped the towel onto his shoulders. At that moment, I thought that he would respond but he still didn’t. So I ran my fingers onto the towel and started drying his hair at first. I asked him to remove his jacket since it was completely soaked.
He followed that I didn’t even need to be the one to remove that from him. I told him at that moment, trying to catch his attention that he should make himself comfortable and continue drying himself up, since if he had been under the rain for too long than I might guess of it, he’ll certainly need a hot chocolate drink to at least warm him a little bit.
After preparing the drink and I returned to the living room, I almost dropped the mug of hot chocolate when I saw him sitting on the sofa with the towel I’ve given him draping over his shoulders, covering himself up. And I am glad that he did, since I found his jacket and tunic folded just across him on top of our coffee table even though those clothes of his were wet. Buzz though on the other hand finally settled next to him, just close to his shoes.
“Here,” I told him as I placed the mug next to his folded clothes. I know very well that I can’t think of other things to tell him. I can’t even ask him right away; I know him for far too long already to understand that pushing and provoking him is not a good idea in times that he don’t want to share such things. So I remain quiet as I stand just next to him, without any knowledge of what will be the right thing for me to do.
But after one whole awkward moment of silence, except for Buzz’s soft whimpers and the rain seems to continue on with its occasional thunders and lightning that doesn’t seem to startle the dog, Sam finally spoke as his eyes somehow register looking at the mug I’ve laid in front of him, “I’m sorry… For coming here unannounced.”
Just with that, I didn’t hesitate to finally sit right next to him, and I managed to muster up all my courage to ask him why he does what he had done and what brought him here. And I am glad that he found a friend in me for him to slowly open up why, rather than for him to confide onto his fellow-actors. But at that moment, I remembered that he once told me that the actors and people he had worked with all see that the world as plainly black and white, that no one could analyze the grayness on it, the same way as I do see his.
He told me everything at that moment. He told me that he was so angry about his father for being always on his way. He told me that he had shouted at his father, telling the latter that why should he care about other’s opinion since he is an actor who knows himself more than the public does know of, and he got his older brother to bear the title of baron. He told me that even if he wanted flying, he never intended to be bounded so closely with the union, that he wanted his freedom not to be stolen from him. He told me that he so wanted to act, rather than be foolish enough to pursue a degree that was highly irrelevant for what he could foresaw about his future; since he knew that he’ll continue acting until the end of his time comes.
And when he finally looked at me, I realized that he was crying. He didn’t acted his cry, he certainly did. Being his best and childhood friend, I could tell the difference about his real tears and those that he had simply pushed himself to as an actor. At that moment, I know that he had been telling me everything from his heart, and that pushed him to be in tears.
Right there, I could see that he was completely hopeless and has nowhere else to run. But he went to our house to find me.
I value our friendship, and I’ll always have a time for him whenever he needs me. I’ll always be there for him.
I recede my burning anger at him for turning down that once in a lifetime offer to him, and raise an eyebrow to ask him softly, “You’re thinking of entering College?”
He sighs heavily. “Man, I am so messed up right now. These past few days…” He sighs again, for the second time. “I can’t even think straight. I am an actor, and keeping up a lie should have been…”
“Easy,” I interrupt his trailing. “That’s what you’re going to say, doesn’t it?”
Sam looks at me and casts his eyes down, ashamed himself. “For one thing, I want to do something that Dad would be proud of me. You know how I’ve always go against what he wanted for me, and somehow… I guess, this thing about getting a degree, seems to be the role that I can’t play in the big screen.”
“If that so happens, you need to give up acting.”
“I can take a leave for a few months, and when it’s vacation, I can go back again.”
“You’re just going to exhaust yourself with that.”
“Oh, yeah. True. Probably a bad idea to do such.”
“But you love what you are doing. You can’t simply give it up. Acting has been your passion.”
He nods, analyzing it on his head. “True. It does.”
I then offer, even if my suggestion is one absurd idea, “Why don’t you pursue a course in acting? You know, a bachelor’s degree in film or performing arts?”
He chuckles. “My father won’t agree with that. It will simply be like getting a degree just to say that you get a degree.”
“So…” I blush, knowing how ridiculous my offer is. “What will you do then? Classes are about to begin next week, you know? If ever you want to catch up with College.”
“I guess I have no choice but to think about it double time,” Sam replies, his voice going on to that being distant again whenever he talks about something of a serious matter.
I place a hand by his arm and that causes him to look at me directly. If it will be another girl, she probably had blush already, but this guy is my best friend. I then tell him with a smile, “Don’t rush about deciding. Think about it, their pros and cons. After that, when you are finally ready to decide, be sure that you’ll not regret such decision. That’s the last thing we all want to happen, right?”
He finally gives me one small smile, but a genuine one. “Yeah. True to that.” He places a hand behind my head and leans his lips against my forehead. He mutters, “Thank you, Óinseach. You’re the best.”
Comments (0)
See all