It's the outcome that we are all afraid to live with. The anticipation of the pain to come is more unwelcoming than pain itself. Yet, life needs to move on somehow after that.

"Thank you Larry, " I said standing in my doorway.

"Anytime Kathleen," He replied. "I hope you'll be ok?"

"I will," I said looking back into my livingroom then at him. I could tell he was concerned since he'd never seen the men before. I waved a short goodbye and he disappeared down the hallway.

I shut my door and turned the locks. Keith, Todd and Andrew were dead asleep in my spacious livingroom. Keith was snugg under my maroon throw blanket on the couch with Todd and Andrew on the thick duvets I'd laid on the floor for them. It was all thanks to Larry that I was able to get them in. I know what you're thinking...I thought the exact same thing too. 

But, what could I have done at that moment? At 1am. Stop thinking of all the risks and think about what I was supposed to do...then think again because, it's never that simple.

I woke up to the sound of running water from my shower. It had gone on for far too long. Sleepily, I walked into the bathroom to turn it the hell off. I needed more sleep. I put my hand through the curtain and reached for the faucet. My hand brushed against bare skin and my eyes shot open. I dragged the curtain and jumped back.

"What the hell!" He said still holding her in his arms.

"Heidi?...Keith?" I gasped.

I simply stared at their naked bodies as I tried to take in what was actually going on. Heidi had this blank stare and a weird smile on her face. She still looked drunk from where I was standing and it was confirmed when she said the following words very slurred yet confidently. 

"Are you just going to stand there oogling or are you going to join us?"

"Heidi, get out of there!" I said reaching for her.

"What are you, her mother?" Keith shot back and reached for the curtain. "Now, where were we."

"You tell me," She replied coyly.

I took a towel and laid it on the floor to soak up the water. My heart was racing and I knew something was wrong but Keith was right, I wasn't her mother and she didn't have to listen to me.