I woke up the following day by my mother just to tell me that Airin had arrived to start our one whole day Star Wars movie marathon, where according to my calculation, we need to start by eight o’clock in the morning so that will be able to finish all of the Episodes by midnight. I woke up with only Mom still at home, since Dad left about thirty minutes before, but my mother was about to leave already at that time Airin arrived. And at the very moment that we were all that’s left in the house, she begged for me to start watching already, but I successfully refrained her to wait until I am done taking a bath.
Last night, Mom told me that she’ll be going home late again, and I better ask Dad if ever he’ll be arriving in time so that I could prepare dinner. But it appears though that when I asked him by five o’clock in the afternoon, he told me that he won’t be eating dinner at home. That’s when I told him that he should ask Mom for them to eat outside, and I am glad that I heard the enthusiasm on his voice that he’ll surely asked her.
Currently, at this time, we were halfway in watching The Revenge of the Sith with our ordered pizza for dinner, the only reason is that I’ve told Airin that it will be much better if we watched the movies according to how they were released, because it gives the thrills and chills of Episode V, The Empire Strikes Back, consider then that the prequel trilogy will be a major spoiler of what will happen next to the main trilogy. And it appears that, Airin seems to be so thrilled about finally watching it.
She started questioning me why Aldeeran was destroyed by the Death Star, and I simply answered that “that’s how Darth Vader does the work”. She even commented why Vader sounded like a man in a scuba diving suit, and I told her that it was practically the very sound they’ve used for his mechanical breathing. It was followed by what is a Jedi, a lightsaber, and the Force; it appeared that she was just repeating every question that Luke has to Obi-Wan. She didn’t even cry when Obi-Wan was killed by Vader, simply because she doesn’t know the history between them two, and she couldn’t even hint the fact that the previous trained the latter. She returned on being the curious audience when she asked me why the most dangerous weapon throughout the galaxy was destroyed by a simple shots of lasers, and why does Chewbacca doesn’t received a medal when Han and Luke received one.
Then, when we moved on to the next movie, she asked me again why the heck does it need to start in a cold planet, that the rebels could just choose a planet where they won’t even be freezing. She even frowned when Yoda finally appeared, and hid in covers even if it is broad daylight outside when Artoo battled against that swamp monster, and when Han was placed in carbonite. She squealed when Leia admitted her true feelings for Han, and asked me why Vader needs to destroy every “perfect” moment; but that is simply because it is Star Wars. Especially that fateful battle between Vader and Luke; and the latter was all like “You killed my father!” while he is barely holding on with a chopped off right hand that held his father’s lightsaber, as Vader has another revelation that completely adds Airin’s questions to me when he said “Luke, I am your father.”
(Well, darn you, Airin. That’s one of the most popular film quote from one of the most popular film plot twist of all-time!)
As we continue watching, her questions lessen and lessen, until she no longer has anything to ask but simply made side comments in time like: “I bet Leia’s slave dress.”, “Luke and Leia are siblings?!”, “Luke’s right that there’s still good in Vader.”, and “That’s Liam Neeson from Taken, right? And that is Nathalie Portman from Black Swan!”
“You’re right, Hayden Christensen and Ewan McGregor are also love. Don’t tell me that someone like Anakin must suffer being that Darth Vader,” Airin commented when their characters, Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi, respectively, make their debut appearance in Attack of the Clones.
As we continue on silently watching and eating inside my bedroom, barely making a comment here and there every new scene strikes either me or Airin, and with Buzz had fallen to sleep with Airin brushing his furs, my phone instantly rings and vibrates just next to me. Like some queue, both I and Airin turn to glance at it even if the scene we are already watching is the main turning point of the story. And when I reach out for it to look at the messenger, I almost choke midway on my eating to see Sam leaving me a message.
Airin instantly giggles at me and turns a knowing look at me that completely tells me, ‘Way to go, girl. I know who the sender of that message is.’
I smile sheepishly at her until she nods and turns back to the movie. I place my half-eaten pizza back to the carton box, clear the crumbs from my fingertips, and checks the message.
It’s not like it is odd for Sam to leave me a message; he does almost late at night but never when it is this still early in the evening. And whenever he does such things like this, I almost get the feeling of cold-feet.
The message though is simple when I open it up to read:
Óinseach, I forgot to tell you that I have a flight to the States today. We’ll need to do some re-shots, and a full wrap of it. Don’t worry, I’ll be back before you know it. ;)
I didn’t question him anymore about it. I know how important re-shots are. Sam never becomes vacant when it comes to acting; he always has a project whenever one movie ends. Like, he is back to acting again after just filming one, even the previous movie is yet to be shown in theaters. It just been few weeks when Sam’s current post-produce movie, Lost Stars, had its final shooting in New York. And now, he’s back there then for re-shots.
I finally reply:
Take care and have a safe trip, Amadán. You won’t actually be missed. :D Bring me your forgotten souvenir of the Liberty to me.
Before I could even hit the send button, I instantly turn to Airin when she suddenly screams, “NO!”
It appears that the current scene is when Order 66 was conducted, with Anakin Skywalker, the newly-apprenticed Darth Vader, marched with the 501st Legion to the Jedi Temple.
I smile and adds to my reply message:
P.S. Think better before turning down the Star Wars offer. You’ve got one die-hard fan that took the risk of watching the whole franchise just to await for your appearance in whichever movie it will be in the series.
“Why?!” Airin inquires, looking at me with a face close to tears, right after I hit the send button for my message to Sam.
I sheepishly smile at her, completely unaware what causes her to have that face at me. It appears that Hayden Christensen’s all glorified body and face as Anakin Skywalker vanished with the lava that burned his entire body when Obi-Wan Kenobi left him there to die.
This scene always bring me to tears. This time that I look at Airin, I almost can’t hold back my laughter. Yet, a part of me had dreamed that I could still watch these movies with Sam without envisioning Airin sharing that part of me.
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For some reasons, I couldn’t sleep that night. I end up thrashing on one side and then to another. It’s not like I am so unease with having someone inside the same room as I do, or even as if I couldn’t sleep with someone beside me; after all, Airin had considered my bedroom hers a long way already from the start, so I won’t consider that the reason why.
For unknown reasons, I feel so troubled. You know that feeling of shiver that you expect something wrong is about to happen in the next few days, as if some misfortunes are to befall in your path in the most imperfect timing that you are not prepared for it at all.
I turn to the side again and check the time that reads 02:31. Airin had been asleep for a good of three hours already, and here I am, still too much wide-awake. I can’t even wake her right now to tell her that I can’t sleep; that seems to be a little bit childish. But in times like this, I always end up calling Sam to have someone to talk with and will join me until I finally have the urge to fall asleep.
I remember that time when his surly voice of possibly being woken-up greets me when I called him. He could barely utter a word that time, and that alone made me laugh. Though I have every intention to end the call for him to get the rest he needs, and I am just joking him when I told him, “Don’t sleep with me still talking to you, Amadán!”
And I will never ever forget his reply at that time. How tender and sweet but sure his voice is. As some sort of miracle, his voice, when he said that, turns to be so deadly serious: “I’ll wait until you fall asleep.”
But calling him is not part of the options I currently have at the moment. If I’ll consider then that at the time that he had texted me was also the time of his immediate departure to the United States, then he’s certainly there already. I won’t even be able to reach right away to him that easily. After all, when it comes with him being on work, for some unknown reasons, his phone seems to be always handled by his manager or in silent mode.
I cower much more onto my blankets at the moment that I hear the first drop of rain turning from mild to a heavy one. Raining in Ireland is not uncommon. After all, it seems like majority of the year is envisioned to be one rainy day.
My hand drops by the side of the bed, dangling to reach the Persian rug that hugs my bedroom’s wooden flooring. I almost shriek in surprise when my fingers dig onto something much fluffier, but I hold it when I realize that it’s only Buzz sleeping quietly. I place a hand by my chest as if to calm my racing heart, and exhales deeply in relief.
Knowing that sleep won’t knock me out any moment soon, I reach out for my phone and start looking at the most recent photos. I can’t help not to smile looking at such since majority of it features Airin’s selfies, and I can’t even simply delete them all after uploading them in Facebook. Few pictures also feature Buzz and my parents. There are also others that shows pictures of me and Sam together, but they are all with him in disguise.
All of the pictures together, except for that one.
This picture of us was not shot by any ordinary camera nor by a professional photographer always catching up just by his heels to capture his latest movements and actions being one of the most paid and popular young actor of our generation. It was also not taken in a place that will match his attire either. For the picture shows him wearing a crisp and luxurious black suit he wore, completely regal and an additional of a dark gold scarf hanging loosely by his neck that had been his trademark look in times that he appears in formal gala, standing next to his car parked by our front door, smiling genuinely as I stand next to him dressed in a hoodie with my hair in a messy array that one will hint to be a bun, smiling as I normally does in front of a camera that he’d asked to be taken by either of my parent, but ended to be done by Mom.
He was supposed to attend the premiere night of Whirlwind, but ended up to come to our house first before going on; all for the sake to ask me to have a picture with him using his Polaroid camera. He didn’t let me see the picture anyway, and thanked me, leaving me stunned at our porch as he went on before he ends up late for the gala. The following morning though, he gave me a pictured copy of the said picture he has.
And for some reason, only now do I finally take the chance to look at it with full attention. This picture had been locked that Airin won’t even see it if she scrolls all of the pictures herself. Now that I finally look at it still, I notice something major that I didn’t realize at first.
For some reasons, even when I zoom in the picture, Sam isn’t looking at the camera.
Because his eyes were fixated onto me.
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