ACT 2.0

The child Jezabel cried when she hugged the other pilgrims. She even hugged the ungiving body of the red Machine Man. The red robot told her, “Don't worry, short hairs. We'll see you when we all get to Cathedral. We'll eat red stag chili, and you can teach me how to fart.” The child giggled despite not really wanting to do it.

The Eel looked sternly at 402 who merely stared back at her facelessly. She said, “Just follow this trail due east into the dawn. If you reach a swamp, you've gone too far. The Holy are building a city there and a huge church called Cathedral. It won't be hard to find.”

“Relevant, I have access to my own method of navigation. My method does not lead me into Creeper nests.”

The human kneeled low and told the child, “The Great Sisters will watch over you. They won't let anything happen to you until we're back together in Cathedral. Your pretty little furry face is going to be one of the first things I see.”

She hugged the human a second time. She buried her own face into his beard. She said, “Don't look at other faces until I get there, Grizzly. The other faces are naked and ugly.”

The Eel rolled her eyes. She said to 402, “Will you at least camp along the way and let the child rest. She was up for most of the night.”

402 told her, “She may sleep while I carry her. We are less attractive targets while we are moving. We are leaving now.”

Jezabel pulled the straps on her own backpack tight. She took 402's hand even though it wasn't offered to her. She waved at her friends.

Prophet Esop made a hand gesture which looked somewhat like waving but was actually a sacred symbol of blessing and safe journeys. The red robot waved back and said, “Hey 420, you watch out for that girl. She farts. She's the most dangerous thing in these woods.”

Jezabel stuck out her tongue at it.

The two travelers hiked away. 402 adjusted his pace so that it was more comfortable for the shorter legs of its companion. It hiked with its rifle in one arm and resting against its shoulder. Jezabel continued to hold the other hand. Birds tweeted around them, and chipmunks scurried.

Jezabel asked, “Where are we going?”

402 answered, “There is a landmark called The Stump. It is not far from here.”

“Were you going to the Stump when you heard us last night?”

“I was headed towards a town named Smoke to purchase a slave. That trip is no longer necessary. We may proceed directly to The Stump.”

“It's rude to call me a slave. I'm not a slave you know. You're bringing me to the Holy.”

“Irrelevant, Prophet Esop accepted my payment regardless of whether you are labeled a slave or not.”

“You say that word a lot. What is an Irrephalant?”

“Irrelevant is an Earthling word. It means that something does not matter.”

“Oh.”

After a few minutes of quiet, the questions started again. Jezabel said, “I've never seen a gun that big before. What is it?”

“It is a gun. It fires projectiles which kill my targets.”

“What kind is it?”

“This gun is a Model 402-0042 carbine precision carbine long gun, manufactured by Richardworx during the Golden Age and refurbished in Arena. The carbine designation means that it combines both the chemical technology of gunpowder and the mechanical technology of electric rails. These weapons are more commonly called 'slugthrowers.' A steel bullet is electrically activated in the firing chamber and then accelerated by magnetic coils inside the rifled barrel. That describes two of the thirteen distinct projectile technologies which work together to accelerate the projectile at the highest velocity mechanically possible while still keeping recoil to minimum.”

“What does that mean?”

“Do you know what a magnet is?”

“Uh-huh.”

“This gun uses a magnet to pull the bullet out very, very fast.”

“Can I try it?”

“No, you cannot. The safety-grip has be calibrated so I am the only user who can fire this weapon.”

“Oh.”

Later, Jezabel asked, “Where did you come from, 402?”

“No Machine Man knows where it was created. None of us activated until after we had reached this world, and we activated with no knowledge of the world from which we originated.”

“402 takes too long to say. Can I call you Six?”

“Irrelevant.”

“Huh?”

“Jezabel takes no shorter time to pronounce than 402. Why did you suggest naming me Six instead of Four?”

“Four and zero and two is Six.”

“Relevant, you mathematics are accurate. I will respond if you call me Six.”

Jezabel fell into a more contented quiet. Very soon, she had another burning question which required asking, “Six?”

“I hear and respond.”

“Fat Man said that I was the most dangerous thing, but he was joking. What is the most dangerous thing in the woods?”

402 became uncharacteristically quiet as he pondered the question carefully. He asked her, “Before I answer that question, Jezabel, do you believe that the Holy can cure your friend, Grizzly?”

“Uh-huh, Prophet Esop thinks that they can. They have a lot of Epics who know how to heal at Cathedral. Maybe they can fix me too.”

“Are you damaged?”

“Sort of.”

“It is because you lack the ability of your species to communicate with less advanced life forms?”

“I can talk to animals – just the dead ones only. The Holy are going to fix that.”

“You can animate bodies, and then you can communicate with them with your mind.”

“They just do what I tell them with my thoughts.”

“Relevant, you are not damaged. You are an Epic with a talent of unusually narrow focus. Your fellow pilgrim was correct. The most dangerous thing in the woods, Jezabel, is you.”

The child's chest swelled and her pace increased slightly.