I woke to the excited high-pitched talk of pups. I grumbled unhappily, curling tighter into a ball and whined at Chelsea to shut up the little monsters. Suddenly, there was a voice very close and I jerked up. I remembered that Chelsea, was in fact nowhere near me and I couldn't communicate my displeasure with anyone.
A pair of big, green eyes stared at me with unbridled curiosity. I blinked once before scooting away. The wolf, undoubtedly a she after the sleep in my eyes cleared and I inspected her closer, let out a playful growl and got into a ridiculous stance with her rump in the hair. She bounced on her haunches before launching herself on top of me. I yipped out in surprise and rolled away, trying to dislodge her. I was older than her, for goddess' sake! I shouldn't have to wrestle with pups if I didn't want to.
"River!" Lola's reprimanding voice said, making the she-pup on me freeze. Tail tucked between her legs, she scooted back to her mother. "That's not how you treat guests!"
"Sorry, momma." River replied, slinking away to one of her siblings.
Lola gave me a soft gaze and turned back to wrangle her wayward children. I shook out my fur to unruffle it, feeling rather humiliated and disconcert. I could feel the questioning gazes of the others pinned on me and I ducked my head, trying to ignore them. It wasn't working all too well, Lola failing to keep her kid's attention on the things she was saying. I could hear how she was trying to settle them and remind them to be polite and considerate of their guest.
So, the whole day I was poked and prodded by a litter of pups. I was irritated and unhappy with this development, flinching back when one came to close or spoke too loudly, which was becoming a rather common reoccurrence. I was grateful for Lola's effort, but it was obvious they weren't going to listen. They were too riled up from the fact that there was someone new and different. My pelt color, my lack of voice, my mysterious appearance.
As the day continued, I became increasingly more aware of the fact that my belly was upset with me. I could feel it cramping and rumbling more and more, I hadn't eaten anything since the night before. I desperately wanted something to eat. Of course, I couldn’t communicate this fact or go out to hunt on my own, Lola watched all of us like a hawk. Ignoring the pain, I followed the others as the she-wolf guided us outside. My spirit lifted, would I be able to sneak away?
We were led towards a little pound besides a small cliff with a stream emptying into it. The pond had a small brook that broke away and flowed into the larger river I’d crossed earlier that morning. Lola laid down beside the shore and the pups happily took off into the water, drinking and splashing and causing a racket.
I huffed and trudged over to her side, plopping down with a small whine. I didn’t feel like playing with the others, they tugged on my ears and nipped at my tail. I didn’t feel like doing much in general, the lack of food making me feel lethargic and tired.
“Not much of a socializer, huh?” Lola laughed above me. I tipped my head back to give her a what do you think? look. She hummed thoughtfully. “Well, I guess you can rest with me for a little while. They’re tiring, I know.” I snorted and rested my snout on top of my paws, letting my eyes slip closed as sunlight warmed my pelt.
Lola was nice enough, I guess. She listened to her kids and let them get away with things I'd never be able to do back home. She seemed to notice how reluctant I was to join the others for their meals. The pups were slowly being weaned off breast-feeding, once they had completely stopped then Lola could shift into her human form. Every time a mush of meat was presented to them, I'd eagerly come bounding forwards with the rest only to have Lola gently stop me.
"No, little one." She'd murmured and guide me away. "You're much too young for that." I wanted to scream out from the unfairness of it all. Unable to speak or communicate my displeasure, I didn't even try to pretend to feed from her. I simply sat there miserably as she tried to coax me closer.
I'd been here for three days when Lola seemed to realize that I haven't been eating. It was painfully obvious from the way I was much slower and less energetic than the pups. I didn't want to play or interact or do much of anything when my belly was burning from the lack of sustenance.
Every night, I lie awake and desperately try to grasp the prickling heat of shifting. I couldn't continue like this, I had to shift. I needed to get some food in me.
"He isn't eating." I heard Lola worry to the Luna, Star. "He just curls up and ignores me every time I try to get him to nurse."
"Maybe he's just shy feeding from anyone that isn't his mother." Star supplied. I could feel both of their eyes on me as I pretended to sleep.
"Maybe..." I heard her said, sounding uncertain. "But it's been three days, it's not healthy for a growing pup to go without food for that long."
"If he doesn’t eat in the next few days, notify me and we'll try to come up with something to help him."
~
It's been a week.
One week of me sitting away from the happy family of now shifted pups. Werewolf children matured faster than both normal wolf pups and human children. They're all about a year old, but they looked like toddlers. Once they reached around three years, their rapid growth will slow down, and they'll age like normal.
Most of my childhood was spent as a wolf. I didn't learn how to shift until I was almost six years old. Everyone thought I was just a normal wolf, not uncommon in a litter born in wolf form. If a woman was pregnant as a human, it wasn't rare to give birth to twins or triplets.
I remember Chelsea's beaming face as I shuddered and shook during my first shift, howling out in pain as my fur melted into soft skin and my teeth shrunk into dull little things. She had picked me up and twirled me around before letting run on my new, unsteady legs.
My mind was focused on the past in a vain attempt to distract myself from the pain shooting up my spine. I was panting, tongue lolling out the corner of my mouth as I laid on my side. I could barely keep my eyes open, a little over a week without having even the smallest mouthful of something to fill my empty belly.
Lola and Star both fussed over me, Lola newly shifted back into her normal form of a beautiful woman with caramel skin. I could hear them talking to me, probably trying to sooth my soft whines. I didn't even realize I was making any noise, unable to focus my foggy mind. I just wanted to curl up in Chelsea's warm white fur and eat.
I could barely stumble to and from the little drinking pond anymore, Lola bringing me back a small cup, so I wouldn't die of dehydration. Part of me wished I could to stop this deep ache.
I slowly rolled away, closing my eyes and shutting out the anxious whispering of the two women. I didn't want to listen to their croons and pup-speak, I just wanted to sleep.
Most of the days I spent in a haze of pain and muddled memories, the fog hovering over me made it hard to do much except lay still and pray it'd end. At night, I writhed in my bed as I chased the faint feeling of shifting. I muffled my whimpers and made sure not to alert anyone of my activities, no doubt Lola would worry more than she already was at my behavior. I usually gave up around midnight, breathing hard and an itchy feeling in my eyes.
It was painful and seemingly pointless. I’m no closer to being human than the day I got here. Feeling miserable and rather done with life, I ended up burying myself under the little nest I’d made and refused to come out all day. I just needed to be alone, no matter how worried Lola was and how much her pups pestered me.
I just wanted to be alone, but that was a hard thing to accomplish when you live with a litter of energetic pups. Time passed so slowly.
The den, at that moment, was quiet, No one intruded on the little bubble that was living as a pup. Their only visitors were Star and Lola's mate, Zack. He was alright, I guess. I never really saw him because I was too busy having my stomach eaten from the inside out, isolating myself from the rest as my strength waned to practically nothing.
I was constantly in discomfort, but not in any true pain. That came the first week, now it was a hollow feeling in my gut that rang through my whole being that made it almost seem like an out of body experience. Without looking, I know that all my ribs and most of my bones are visible at this point. I was so far gone at this point I didn't even realize it.
I was exhausted, sleeping in and going to bed early. I was slow and felt incapable of doing more than stumbling here and there. I was just so tired. I wasn't worried though, I'd find a way to be human eventually.
No matter how often I thought this, my health was steadily declining. I had little left at this point, nothing to allow me to shift. I was nothing.
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