Well, there it is.

A freaking talking dog was moments away from mauling us to death, all the while whinging about his buddy Pink and Blue and...Yelly. 

What kind of name is Yelly?

"calm down, and I won't hurt you!" I shouted as I began running away. He caught up to me pretty quickly and chomped down on my left ass cheek. I yelped and screamed "No homo!" as he sunk his teeth even deeper. I courageously screamed at Athena for help & she seemed to take her sweet ass time getting to us, calmly petting the dog as he slowly dislodged his teeth from my juicy plentiful buttocks.

"They weren't your friends," Athena said to the dog, "we're only trying to leave this place alive, and they were probably only using you for your ability to talk. What is your name sweetheart?"

The dog looked at her with this sickeningly sweet gaze, almost as if this was the first time someone treated him with some sort of dignity. 

"Ruffy," The dog stated, "my name is Ruffy."

Athena then asked "Why are you guys attacking the courthouse today? Did they screw you on parking tickets too?"

"No," Ruffy began, "We were all residents of the local mental institution. I was put in there because I'm a dog who thinks he's a human, and also because I like fighting homeless people for loose cigarettes. We escaped and formed the mad dog posse, led by our leader, Maniac dog. He's the one in the gray dog mask and the spiked collar. He's really fucked up."

I looked at old lady Agatha and asked "did he really have a spiked collar?"

"Yea," she replied, "It was pretty bad ass."

"we've already fought off an entire swat team before you guys came and made a mess of things," Ruffy stated, "but I just want to live my life as a normal human in a dog's body. Is that too much to ask?"

We all looked at each other as if saying, "sure, why not, fuck it."

"Do you want to join us in stabilizing the situation and stopping Maniac dog?" Athena asked Ruffy as if she were in charge of us. 

"Woof... I mean yes!" Barked Ruffy.

"You better not betray us," I stoically said to Ruffy, "Because if you do...You'll have hell to pay."

"Shut up, asshole." Ruffy responded, as we all began heading toward the elevator and onward towards the basement.

He wasn't even sarcastic with his response. 

God I miss Carlos.