The elevator bell dinged as we reached the basement. 

It was quiet. 

Too dang quiet.

"Ruffy," Athena started, "How many of you were there, exactly?" 

"Well," He answered, "there was Pink, Blue, Yelly, Reddy, me & Maniac. Reddy is kind of a really sick individual, really into umm... gross stuff."

"How so? I asked.

"Well," Ruffy stated, "he's a Fecophiliac sociopath. He loves playing with his shit. Be on your toes, he might try to fight 'dirty', If you know what I mean."

The children burst out with laughter at his puntastic phrase, cheering him on & pissing me off, since I've been doing that all along and got nothing but dead stares from them. 

Fuck children.

We passed by an office break room and saw a coffee machine, so I asked "Does anyone want a cup of Corfee?" Everyone looked at me as they would a sickly child and shook their heads no. I was only asking, Jeez.

We followed the signs for the emergency exit, carefully watching our steps, and veering each corner with extreme vigilance, when a sound erupted behind us.

It was a fart.

"Oh yes yes yes, yes I have a special gift to give all of you now!" A voice echoed from behind us. It was Reddy. He was wearing a red dog mask and his clothes were smeared with... well, you know.

Reddy threw a foul smelling bomb towards us, and it connected with one of the children. The luckier child screamed "Oh God, not Pat! Why couldn't he have hit that awful Joey Joe fella instead?" 

Again, fuck Children.

I ran towards the shit throwing bastard and pointed my gun at him, decreasing the bullets from my clip unto his chest. As he lay dying, He asked me to come closer, so I obliged and immediately regretted it. "Do ya... smell popcorn?" he asked. I breathed in, only to smell that rankest of rank smells entering my nostrils, destroying my sense of smell and trust in people. Then I fainted.

When I awoke I was informed that Pat was in a coma like state because of Reddy's shit grenade, and they thought I held the same fate. They were just about to leave me there when I woke up so the old lady had my gun. "Give me my sweet sexy gun, Agatha!" 

"Sheeit. come try and get it you limp noodle bitch!" she responded.

I bravely let her keep the gun.

We finally made it to the exit, only to see the final gift Reddy left for us. A literal pile of shit covering the exit door, along with dead bodies of former swat team members, making it impossible for us to leave through there. 

"Looks like we're gonna have to face this Maniac," Athena stated, "We have no choice."

I nodded in agreement while running towards the pile of shit to try to escape and fainted again.

When I woke up, everyone was gone.