I slovenly got up and kept mumbling random curse words along with repeating the phrase up, up, down, down, B, A, select, start. I... don't know why.

I walked up to the staircase doorway, hoping to find out where those assholes who abandoned me went to, when I noticed a trail of...blood. 

Great, and me without my sweet sexy guns.

I was about to head back to bravely try and go through that shit pile exit again, when I heard one of the children yell. I figured I might as well find out if they killed the Maniac yet, Heck I thought Maybe I can even take credit for it, honorably of course.

So I pushed myself back up those stairs and opened the door to the 1st floor. I opened it & noticed the eerie calmness surrounding the area. Things were fishy yo.

I kept hearing the one child's yelling faintly. I followed the sound and headed toward a room when I heard the cocking of my sweet, sexy AR-15. "Hold it right there, sucka," said a familiar voice. I turned around and saw who it was; dear old Agatha.

"Hey," I shouted, "Where...where's the other folks?" 

"Ha!" that old hag exclaimed with a boisterous bellow. "Sweety, They're with my sonny boy, Maniac."

I looked at her with confusion. "Wait," I said, "Maniac dog is your son?" 

"A Doy Doy," She retorted with all the sarcasm I missed from dear sweet Carlos. "You could say I'm proud of what my son has accomplished today," she snortled, "You could even say I'm his biggest fan." 

She then started doing some stupid monologue about how her son was unjustly put in the institution and she helped plan the escape and tricked the judge into helping her by giving him sexual favors and yadda yadda yadda... I took a chance while she went into detail about her son's terrible childhood and I found a loose end table piece and hit her as hard as I possibly could across her fat fucking face.

She barely felt it. I need to go to the gym.

She hit me with the butt of my precious gun, and I fell out like a light. When I came to, I was Tied back to back with Athena, The biggest jerk who thought it was a good idea to leave me in the basement next to a pile of... So I asked her what the heckin' hell happened after I was knocked out.

She explained that Agatha told her she knew of a secret way out through the 1st floor and that they'd come back for me after getting the children to safety, but as soon as Athena turned her back on Agatha, she was knocked unconscious. I laughed and called her a sucker, and she reminded me that I was in the same predicament and I should shut my dirty whore mouth. I bravely obliged. 

We were pondering our next move as to how to escape when the door opened, and in came none other...

than the MANIAC.