Gizel woke up like a bolt of lightning had struck her heart and sat up in a cold sweat. The memories of a night terror fading quickly from her mind. She was panting heavily and her red hair was sticking to her cold skin as if it were made out of glue. Gizel shivered as she got out of bed, knowing that she will be unable to get anymore sleep in before her alarm goes off.

She slowly, and with shaking hands, pulls out fresh clothes from her dresser before heading to her bathroom. She sets her clothes on the side of the sink and starts the water, fashioning it to be as hot as possible without burning herself. She takes off her nightgown as the water gets to her preferred temperature and she looks at herself in the mirror, something she always seemed to do with or without clothes on when in the bathroom.

She looks over her soft, lightly freckled skin. Her hips had healing, silver stretch marks and one long, pink, horizontal scar on her right hip. She runs her fingers lightly over the scar and shivered as the memories of her dream blends with the terror of the permanent mark created by her father.

She then steps under the water, trying to wash away the terrified shivers while also masking her tears and quiet sobs. Her dreams always came back to the forefront of her mind because they weren’t just dreams. They were also real horrors that no child should have been put through.

She washes her hair and then just sits down amongst the suds and cold tile. She knew she had to get out soon or else Mari would give Gizel a ‘stern talking to’ if she were to stay in longer than Mari liked. She always said it was because of the water bill, but Gizel knew it was due to the one time Gizel harmed herself in the tub. She could still hear Mari’s exasperated cries.

After a few more minutes Gizel lets out a long sigh, stands, turns off the water, and starts to dry herself off. She takes one more look at herself in the slightly foggy mirror before dressing in the clothes she’d layed out for herself. The loose fabric did well to hide most things that Gizel disliked about herself. The blue skirt hid her thick thighs and wide hips. Her yellow sweater smooths out her stomach and makes it look less strange, while also covering up all her freckles save for the one’s on her face, which were light and hard to see anyways.

“Gizel?” Mari softly knocks on the bathroom door.

“I’m okay, mom!” Gizel calls out as she brushes out her hair. “Just brushing my hair.” She ties her hair up into a tight bun and opens the door, letting steam flow out the door in airy waves. “Sorry.” She whispers with a smile. “Did I wake you?”

Mari shakes her head no. “I was just worried. It’s very early and I heard the shower running. I was worried someone had broken in.”

“To use our shower?” Gizel teases.

Mari pauses and then looks down in thought, tapping her chin. “Well. It does sound stupid when you put it like that.”

Gizel lets out a little laugh and passes Mari, heading down the stairs. “It is silly, and you don’t have to worry about me so much. I’m a big girl. I’m fine.” She gives her a smile. But, like always, that’s not enough to convince Mari.

“Alright, then why were you up so early?” She follows Gizel down the stairs and crosses her arms when she reaches the bottom.

“I’m just a little nervous about the mini exame your replacement is making us go through later today.” She says calmly, already having the excuse at the ready. She didn’t want to worry her any more than she had to. Plus, stress was bad for the baby. Orm at least, that’s what Mari always told her.

Mari gives Gizel an accusatory side eye. “Okay.. Just try not to make me worry. You’re my little girl. I can’t bare the thought of you getting hurt. And if that no good boyfriend of yours-”

“Mom!” Gizel cuts her off but then covers her mouth. They both stand in silence, hoping they hadn’t woken Amilia. When no crying was heard from the three year old’s room they both relax and head towards the kitchen.

“But honestly honey. Be careful alright. Don’t rush into this to quickly. I didn’t meet Alejandro until after college.” Mari says, watching Gizel make a bowl of cereal for herself.

“I’m aware, mom. You met at his flower shop. Between the petunias, and you just knew it was love.” She says, forcing a smile. “Don’t worry about me. I’m strong. And I know how to take care of myself. I promise.”