Sometime he thought she cared a touch too much about losing, especially because he  was the one with competitive streak. He gave a great deal of effort to maintain this: he had finished all of the assigned readings for the semester in the first two months, all those late-night early-morning revisions and nerdy Google searches he did just to make sure he seemed to be always available for any outings, night jaunts, evening walks, weekend lunches, game sleepovers, come what may. He liked it, the sense of being able to excel without well, effort.

But she was the one who took every grade announcements with such tension like a bristling cat, or a coiling snake. It was a fail/pass class and he knew of course she would pass--she wasn't doing too badly on her own. It was different than his want of validation and acceptance, want of recognition. With her, it was something bordering on anxiety and... dare he said it? On self worth. Sometimes he wondered whether that was a side effect of an Asian upbringing, but that might be stereotypes clouding his judgment.

His own parents were satisfied enough by his grades, though due to his "effortless" show they often lamented that he could aim higher if he so wanted.

Well, it was a cost he was willing to pay to keep them believing in the persona he wanted people to believe. He loved his masks, but being able to drop them for someone was refreshing although at the same time thrilling and confusing.