I didn't want to wake up.
Sleep still clouded my mind and I wasn't ready to greet the waking world. I was exhausted, more tired than when I'd gone to bed, so the fingers gently digging through the fur to prod and poke were really getting on my nerves.
I let out a low whine, telling her I was still trying to sleep. Usually I'd hear a grunt or annoyed huff in return, she didn't like me lounging in bed all day, but I got no such response. The fingers trailed through my unkempt pelt to untangle knots and pick out a few stray clumps of dirt. It was pleasant enough feeling, but the gentle tugs and slight pain from taming my fur were enough to keep me awake.
I let out a tiny growl, rolling over to show her my back. This was a clear sign I had no intention of getting up yet. Suddenly, I was being lifted into the air. I let out a squeak and angry noise of protest, wiggling in a vain attempt to escape.
I twisted around to glare at her grumpily, then froze. A man smiled down at me in a way someone might look at an unruly pup. My heart sank like a stone and I went limp in his grip. I wasn't home, I was with this stranger far away from Chelsea.
"What's with the long face?" he booped my nose with a finger, causing me to give him a rather dirty look. "Are you still a sleepy pup? Or do I need to wake you up more?" My eyes widened because he was suddenly tickling me, causing me to flail wildly and spasm uncontrollably as random noises left me.
This torture went on for a few minutes before he stopped, allowing me to catch my breath. I laid down on my side, panting for air. He chuckled and smoothed down my rumpled fur. I swatted half-heartedly at his hand but was too tired to do much else. He frowned lightly as his hands drifted down to my sides, pressing softly against my ribs. I wiggled, trying to escape the touch. I didn't trust him to not tickle me again.
After I'd finally managed to catch my breath, there was a soft knock at the door. I lifted my head to see Lola slowly slip in. I watched her silently as she strode over to the bed. I knew what was coming before she'd shifted, dark lovely skin melting into soft brown fur, and I wasn't happy.
The man lifted me up, something I was starting to resent, placing me right next to her exposed belly. I stared at her for a moment before curling up in a ball, my back turned to her.
This continued for another two days.
I could tell the man was frustrated, his frown deepening after each rejection. I did everything I could to reach out and let them know I wasn't some stubborn pup, that I was starving.
I pawed at the door, whining until I was let out, only to be thwarted from digging into any places some leftover food might've been. I barked and snarled when he tried to push me towards Lola, intending for me to feed. I watched as they got increasingly more confused and worried.
~
It hurts
I felt completely miserable, I thought the pain had passed. The numb haze that hung over me would be a vacation from the tremors that rocked my tiny frame and the times of dizziness so severe, I was almost sick. If I had anything left to throw up, I'd have already done so.
It hurts.
I wanted Chelsea, I wanted her warm embrace and calm voice. She'd know what I needed, she always understood me. I could go months without speaking and she'd never miss a beat. I'd give anything to have this with anyone here in the pack. Max, I'd found out was his name, was kind enough. He let me curl up on top of his chest and whimper as my stomach cramped horribly.
He seemed to hate these moments, when I couldn't help but sit down to catch my breath or burrowed under blankets because I was trying to escape this cold set deep inside me. Chelsea looked at me the same way he was, but there was something different in his eyes. He was warm.
I want this feeling to stop.
I'm so, so tired.
One of my many naps was so rudely interrupted by Max, his soft voice and careful grip were soothing and if he'd just set me down I could fall back asleep. Instead, he laid me down on my back, cradled like a newborn babe. I was too tired to ponder why before something smooth and cold touched the end of my nose. Snorting, I tried to paw it away, but it just gently pushed closer. My eyes focused a little to see the nipple of a baby bottle.
I was confused, to say the least. I didn't know why Max was offering me something for babies, human babies at that. I suddenly realized it was full of milk. My stomach clenched horribly, and I had a weak moment.
I desperately drew the bottle close and began to suck hard.
I heard an odd sort of sound come from Max, somewhere between a laugh and a sob. I didn't pay him any mind, too intent on draining the warm honey tasting liquid.
"Careful there," he murmured, pulling away. I whined pitifully, tongue poking out as if to draw the plastic top back. "You don't want to get sick."
Too soon, I emptied the bottle and continued to suck despite only getting air. Max pried it out of my mouth, setting it down and gently shushing my complaints.
I was all out of willpower, nothing left to feel ashamed of what'd happened. I was so relieved, the warm sensation in my gut spreading to the rest of my limbs made my bones melting and my whole body seemed to relax, not minding when Max shifted me into one arm and reached out for something else. I let my eyes slip close and my mind drifted into a sleepy daze when I felt a blanket getting wrapped around me.
I peeked one eye open to peer up at him suspiciously. I was surprised to see Max begin swaddle me in a small, impossibly soft blanket. I let out an appreciative hum that vibrated through me, slipping into a half-awake state as the content feeling of a full belly made me feel incredibly sleepy. It was different than the constant state of exhaustion that loomed heavily over me from before, instead it was a pleasant warmth that made my eyelids feel ridiculously heavy.
Before I could dwell over the fact I'd just been bottle fed and swaddled like a newborn, I finally fell asleep peacefully.
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