Scar Patterson
Two years ago during winter break, I realized I loved Francesca Petkov.
It was before we had both agreed to an open relationship, and it was before she became the most sought after girl at school. We had been dating for approximately four months, and we were sitting on the pier of the only harbor in town. It was vacant for the most part, considering that the water had frozen over so sailors couldn't keep their boats there, but it was mostly because everyone was inside warming up next to the fire, enjoying a cup of eggnog, and unwrapping presents.
Everyone except for us.
Ever since Dad died, my family’s Christmas celebration slowly started to dwindle year after year. Mom was too caught up in her own head to buy a Christmas tree, Amy would lock herself in her room and never come out until she had to eat, and I would sit in my own room and stare at the four walls, wondering why he, of all people, had to go.
I didn't know how she did it, but Francesca made me feel better. I thought it was something about her eyes; they were big, round, and full of happiness. But maybe it was her smile, the way her lips curled provocatively and made her nose crinkle. Or it could very well be her hair–those soft, loose, dark waves that reminded me of the beach. Or perhaps, it was just her. The soft comforting words she spoke and the elegance of her voice were what drew me in. She embodied love, friendship, and compassion, and that was why I loved her.
She had squeezed onto my hand gently. “Well, would you look at that?”
My eyes fell on her as my brows drew in together. “Look at what?” I asked her.
She nodded off into the distance. “During the summer, sunsets are so beautiful. It's what makes you fall in love with those cheesy romance flicks.” Her lips curled into a comical smile. “But in the winter, people don't notice the sunsets as much, do they? They're easy to miss if you don't look hard enough.”
At the time, I didn't understand what she was talking about. Out of all the things we could have been doing, she was ranting about a sunset. “Why are you saying that?” I continued to ask her, growing more interested.
She finally turned to look at me with her chocolate orbs shining with delight.
“Because they're equally as beautiful.”
I blinked a few times before I glanced at where the sun had met the horizon. It was mostly covered by gray clouds and a slight hint of fog, but when I strained my eyes, I could see it. It wasn't as prominent as a summer's sunset, but there was something cool about it. “Wow,” I had breathed out, “you’re right.”
“There's beauty all around us, Scar,” she had said. “You just gotta look for it.”
And that was why I couldn’t let go of Francesca: I saw the beauty in her.
“What are you doing here?” were the first words that leaked out of my mouth when I stepped foot into my room to find Francesca seated on the edge of my bed with a grin on her lips.
She scoffed as if I had just asked a dumb question. “You gave me the key to your house, Scar. Did you forget that?”
I pressed my lips into a thin line, suddenly remembering that I had given it to her as a birthday present. “I didn't ask how you got in here. I want to know why you are here.”
She gaped and placed a manicured hand over her chest. “Do you not want me to be here?”
“We broke up, remember?” I answered with another question simply because I didn’t want to admit that I actually liked her presence.
“Yeah, but I wanted to talk to you.” Her lips stretched into a cute little smile as she patted the empty space beside her. “Come here.”
Obediently complying with her request, I lowered myself onto the bed. “What is it?”
“How was your little gay experience?” she pried, an eager grin on her rosy lips. Heaving a sigh, I prepared to lift myself off the bed, but Francesca’s hand snaked around my wrist to pull me back down. “Honestly, how was it? Did you like it?”
I frowned at her. “Of course I didn’t like it. Francesca, why are we—”
“I’m just curious, is all.” She shrugged her shoulders and sighed. “I miss you, Scar. I’ve been thinking a lot about us, and it was wrong of me to just shut you down like that. I was insensitive, and I’m sorry.”
My brows pulled together in confusion. Jamie had promised me that he would find a way to make Francesca want me in the way that I wanted her. I didn’t know what he did, or how he did it, but it was definitely working. “Really?”
“Really.” She closed the distance between us and wrapped her arms around my neck, bringing my face closer to hers. “We've been together for as long as I can remember.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, “since freshman year.”
“Oh, god,” she scoffed, “that was such an awkward stage for me. I had those ugly bangs, and braces, oh my god.”
“You were beautiful, then,” I reassured her, “and you’re beautiful now.”
She gazed up at me with her intense toffee-colored eyes and nuzzled her nose against mine. “I’ve missed you so much, Scar.”
I smiled back at her. “I did too.”
She played with the hair at the nape of my neck and brushed her lips tentatively against mine, teasing me. “Scar, you wanna know something?”
My eyes never felt hers. “Yeah.”
“I love you.”
And there, in that moment, I swore my heart stop beating. Francesca never told me she loved me before, so this must’ve been a huge revelation. Those three simple words were all it took for me to give into the temptation and press my lips against hers. Almost instantly, Francesca's tongue slipped past my teeth and stroked the inside of my mouth as I leaned into her. All of the previous doubts I had about our relationship slipped out of my mind as I drifted into the bliss of her embrace. Our mouths moved feverishly together while her delicate hands traveled through my hair and while my own hands slid under her shirt, stroking the curves of her body before pulling her shirt over her head.
Suddenly, she leaned into me, causing me to crash onto the bed with her on top of me and her legs on either side of my waist. Her fingers grasped onto the sides of my face, not wanting to ever let go. Sharing the same sentiment, I held onto her tightly. It took everything in my power to not lose my mind when she broke away from the heated kiss to leisurely place kisses down my neck, onto my collarbone, and down my stomach once she lifted my shirt to reveal my abs.
Before I could get too excited about what was to come, she trailed the kisses back up to my lips, molding our bodies together. I let a slight moan escape my lips and pour into her mouth as she began to rub her bottom on my very prominent erection. It was getting harder to kiss her when all I wanted to do was moan from the intense pleasure. She pulled away from the kiss for a brief moment as she sat up and began to tug on the waistband of my jeans. “Wait,” I interrupted, reaching out to hold her hand. “I don't have any condoms.”
Her head tilted to the side in confusion, but the action was shortly followed by a grin. “That's okay. I have some.”
That was when it hit me. Francesca and I had never actually done it before; sure, we had done many other things, but sex wasn't one of them. “No,” I spoke up, protesting. “I don't want to do this.”
She gave me a quizzical look. “You don't want to have sex? Seriously?”
I threw my head back and sighed. “No, of course I want to have sex ... I just don't want to do it now. Not until I know where we stand.”
Her eyebrows drew together in a line. “What are you talking about?”
I had to force my eyes away from her bra to look her in the eyes. “Where do we stand? After this, are you gonna be with other guys? Or is it just me? What are we?”
She gave a dry laugh and moved away from me to sit upright on the edge of the bed. “We’re friends, Scar.”
My heart stopped beating again, but this time, it wasn’t because I was excited. It was because I was disappointed, angry even. The girl that I had been in love with for all this time, the girl that had just claimed to love me back, had just labeled us as friends. “Friends?” I repeated, obviously offended. “We're friends? You're sitting on top of me, half naked, about to have sex with me, and you're saying we're just friends?”
“Of course.” She breathed out a long, heavy sigh and rolled her eyes. “Why did I expect anything to change with you?”
“You have no right to be bitching about change!” I snapped at her. “Especially when you’re the one who became a totally different person who has had sex with the entire student body! Why the fuck would I want to have sex with that?”
Her gaze narrowed to resemble slits as she challenged me with her scrutinizing stare. “Sounds a bit like the pot calling the kettle black, don’t you think? You’re acting like you haven’t had your fair share of partners, too.”
Everything seemed to go black from there. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend the multitude of hateful emotions I was feeling towards my former girlfriend, and in that moment, I snapped. “That’s because I haven’t!”
Francesca stared back at me with wide eyes, and a brief wave of silence shortly followed before she finally said, with disbelief, “You're a virgin?”
I clenched my jaw tight and squeezed my eyes shut in an attempt to relieve myself from all of this anger building inside me. Yes, I was a virgin. Yes, my friends were under the impression that I pulled girls from all corners of the world, and maybe I did, but it wasn’t like I was ever interested in any of them. Francesca was the one for me, or at least I thought she was. “Get out,” I said through gritted teeth.
Her brows knitted together and she reached out to touch me. “Scar.”
“GET OUT!”
Francesca scrambled to grab her shirt and stand to her feet. She stared at me, wide-eyed, for quite some time before she stormed out of the room. Hanging my head low, I stared blankly at the rummaged sheets below me and waited for the door to close behind her.
After sitting in complete solitude for a few moments, I found myself reaching for my cell phone and searching for Jamie's name, which was a new addition to my contact list. I had contemplated calling Trey, but I wasn’t sure if he would understand; in fact, many of my teammates only knew Francesca to be the girl that slept with anyone who looked at her the right way. They wouldn’t believe me if I told them that she didn’t always use to be this way; they’d probably just laugh at my decision to continue to pursue her after all this time, so I figured Jamie would be the safest bet.
He picked up on the fourth ring, “Well, if it isn’t Scar Patterson? I never thought I'd live to see the day where the star football jock of Summer Hill High School called my cell phone willingly. Does this mean I'm popular now?”
I rolled my eyes. “Can you stop that?”
There was a brief pause. “Whoa, what happened to you?”
“Look, I need you to come over right now.”
Jamie laughed. “This isn't a booty call, is it?” I could practically hear the amusement in his voice.
“Dude!” I yelled into the phone. “This is serious. Something happened with Francesca. I thought she was finally starting to reciprocate, y’know, but then things got heated and, well, she doesn’t like me any more than she did before.”
He hummed. “Well, not all of us were blessed with ugly Jeeps, Patterson.”
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I suppressed a groan. I wasn't in the mood for driving tonight, but I desperately needed to solve this. “Fine, I’ll come over to your place. What’s your address?”
“What?” Jamie questioned with an odd amount of panic in his voice. “Wait, no, you can't. We can just talk about whatever you want to talk about tomorrow. I’m really tired, anyway. I probably won’t be much help.”
“Um, okay, but I can—”
“Good night,” he said hastily before the line went dead, leaving me in the eerie silence once again.
With a sigh, I fell back onto my bed and shut my eyes to forget about today’s events. Within a few seconds, I soon found myself slowly drifting away into a blissful sleep that took me away from the brutal reality.
Comments (1)
See all