/Everyone always keeps telling me that I should appreciate my family. Be grateful to them. That they took care of me. Especially my parents. And mom makes damn sure to let me know that, but I shouldn’t have to take her shit! I don’t owe her because she conceived me. That doesn’t give her the excuse to act like a fucking child! To treat me with barely any respect! I owe her fuck all! She doesn’t have the right to lord her parenthood over me, I’m an adult too!

Whenever I try to bring anything up to her about how bad I’m feeling, she just gives me the same shit about “how great I have it”, that I have everything going for me and nothing to be upset about. From the same bitch who then wonders why I don’t talk to her anymore. Clueless! It’s her own fucking fault!

I remember years ago, back in my late middle school years, this irritating little shit stain boy that always bothered me at school. Anytime he saw me in the hallway he always pestered me, and he had the fucking nerve to act like it was his very fucking right to do so! He followed me around. To my classes, and even to my house! And when I told my mom about this, just what does she have to say about her own daughter being harassed and bullied in school? What did she do about her child, her very flesh and blood, getting stalked? NOTHING!FUCKING NOTHING! In fact, worse than nothing, she blamed it all on ME! Said that it was MY fault some little chicken shit was giving me problems! That my clothes should’ve been less tight, or my pant legs longer, or whatever the fuck bullshit she had. I couldn’t fucking believe this! My mom, my own mom and parent, who’s suppose to care for me and support me, was completely useless and made that situation out to be my fault!

I can barely stand that fucking woman! She’s worthless! Useless ugly ass bitch. The fuck is she any good for around here anymore? I’m surprised she’s been able to carry herself before getting married. She might’ve been pretty once, and maybe, maybe, a hard worker too, but after marrying my dad she let herself go BIG TIME. Along with whoever she was. I can’t believe I ever came out of that. Maybe that’s why dad stopped staying with her.

My dad wasn’t that much better than her. Eventually he got fed up with her and left. Leaving me alone with her. He didn’t just abandon her, he turned his back on ME.

There’s barely anyone left in my life I can trust. Barely anyone who I can consider a friend, a loved one, anything, who can bring me any joy in this miserable life. Except one person: Kayla. I swear she’s the only ball of sunshine among the dark and raining clouds. My only ray of light. The only thing worth a fuck in this town as far as I’m concerned./

Kayla rubbed her shirt sleeve against her eyes to get rid of the stinging tears before she continued.

/I can’t get out. I’ve been stuck here for so long I can’t stand it! I want out! But she won’t let that happen. She wants to find every reason under the fucking sun to keep me here. She doesn’t want me to have a life. Even the one I have now. I can’t get a job. She won’t let me drive. Won’t let me get a license, or even a permit! I know why she keeps me trapped here. She knows what will happen if I ever got out of here. She needs me, needs someone to do nearly everything for her lazy ass. She wouldn’t be anything without me! She’d die if I was gone. Hopefully she will. Soon.

Finally, I’ve gotten a job. Finally! All my searching and applying paid off and now I’m working, earning myself some money! My mom didn’t give a shit, but Kayla did when I told her about it earlier. She was proud and actually happy for me. She cares about me. And I care about her too. I’m hoping once I get enough cash, I can ask her to help me find a place to move into, and she can move in with me. I’d love to be living with someone I can more than tolerate for once.

I’m so tired of my mom trying to keep me here, even from my job. She can never let me leave and get to my job on time, she’s gotta pull some excuse out of her ass to make me late! And when I finally get to work, of course I’m late! And if I decided to walk or run there, I’d be fucking exhausted by the time I made it! This is getting fucking ridiculous./

Looking through the pages, a particular passage caught Kayla’s attention.

/I cherish Kayla as my friend, I really do, but sometimes I have to wonder if she’s just living in her own world. Like she just can’t see so much of the shit that I see. She usually pays attention to everything good in the world while barely ever noticing any of the bad.

I swear if it wasn’t for me having to stand up for her I don’t know where she would be by now. She can never bring herself to fight back against a motherfucker who’s giving her trouble. It seems like whenever someone does something wrong she just can’t bring herself to call them out on it. She’s too afraid of confrontation, and in this world that’ll make you a doormat. In this world, people have to fight back, they have to be able to handle confrontation, and life is full of tough choices, which she rarely ever makes./

She felt her heart drop after reading that passage. Did Melanie really feel this way about her? Was she right? “Am I really a coward?”

That normally would’ve been enough to get Kayla to stop reading, but she felt compelled to read the rest.

/My paychecks still haven’t come in. This is the third time this has happened. I called my boss about it earlier, and he keeps telling me the same damn thing that he did send it. I don’t get it! I’ve been doing well at work despite my mom making me get there late. Would he really be withholding my paychecks? Him and I haven’t been having any issues lately, so what’s going on? Where the fuck’s my money?!/