My love, my star,

How unlucky I am

To have met you in the bar

At 2 A.M.

Perhaps I am the wrong man,

Because when you approached me at the bar,

I feel I should have ran

All the way to my car.

You did this without my consent,

Stripped me of everything I had.

You didn't even ask if you could rent.

I understand I'm super rad,

But my heart is what you stole,

Asshole.