Amber quietly exploded once she got home. She crossed the front room and climbed the stairs with light, steady steps. Her bedroom door she closed with hardly a whisper. Her things dropped from nerveless hands and she face-planted onto her bed, the internal screaming too big for her throat to even try to give voice to it.
What am I doing? I just… I told the school Frost is my boyfriend. Why did I agree to this? That was a dumb question, once she thought it. Her acceptance over the past year that he wasn’t going to ask her out did not hold when he did ask. There was only one way she could respond with a shred of honesty. Even if it killed her inside, thinking how she had hurt him and would still do. I can’t take it back. Even Frost saw that. That sent a fresh wave of guilt shuddering through her. Why did I have to announce it to everyone?
It was too late to change that. Backing off now would be worse than ignoring him from the start. Her popularity had taken a hit, but it wasn’t all that odd a thing to happen. Except for the fact she had so carefully kept to one guy, one date. And Frost avoided relationships as well. That might help things blow over faster, actually. Amber had already heard speculation that they had been holding out for each other until now. Nor was anyone too surprised to see her, not him, make the announcement. I’m dating Frost. The very thought threatened to drown her in giddiness, as it had every time it crossed her mind since that morning. I can’t believe he asked me. After everything that happened, that I did, he asked me to-
Everything I did. It was, as always, a wash of cold that froze her elation. They’re going to kill him. She’s going to kill him. Someone, something had already tried. How can I save him? Amber thrashed on her bed in frustration, tears slipping from her eyes. What am I saying. I couldn’t even save him from me. An even more chilling thought added to the chaos in her mind. Does he even want me? How much of his actions are because of my feelings now? Her wants had brought him to her house. If she gave an order, it moved his body without him. So why wouldn’t her feelings drown out his? Why did he keep pushing? Can’t he see I’m just going to hurt him worse?
Did he have a choice? Amber curled into a ball, tears continuing unnoticed to wet her blanket. Exhaustion eventually dragged her past the pain and anger into a fitful sleep.
Some distance across town, Frost found it impossible to study before dinner, his emotions running from crippling depression to fury to terror and back before finally settling somewhat just before he was called to the table.
The next day, Frost was waiting by the door when Amber arrived. He smiled, setting her heart fluttering dangerously. She started to smile back. His face flushed and her smile grew until she noticed him shiver. In time to my hammering heartbeat. Her hand that had been reaching for his of it’s own accord she pulled to her side, the warmth in her cooling rapidly. I will never know if he likes me, not really. It was a harrowing thought.
Frost didn’t say anything, though his smile thinned as he held the door open for her. Amber stuffed down the riot of emotions as she crossed the threshold. I’m the junior cheer captain and star of the school. It was a reminder she hadn’t had to give herself in some time, but it did it’s job. Chin lifted, back straightened. By the time she was entirely inside, she was in command once more. At least on the outside. Frost fell in step beside her. She started to turn her head to look, to try to see what he was feeling. Her pulse picked up at the possibility and she stopped, fixing her gaze ahead. Some beginning. After how smoothly she handled the day before, even after the night she had Amber had hoped day two would flow as naturally. So much for that.