My mother and I are on talking terms again. I mean, where else she gonna go, hm? She needs someone to talk to about how my generation is ruining the world.

Mom: I'm tellin' ya. It's the hippies.
Me: The hippies?
Mom: The hippies.
Me: *sighs* What about the hippies?

Mom: They want to start one of those community share gardens in the grassy area, you know—that one in our neighborhood? They suggested it instead of a pool.
Me: Weren't they gonna build a park or something? Stephanie said they were gonna build a park last I heard.
Mom: Well, Stephanie is the person who suggested they also build a community garden.
Me: I don't understand what's so bad about it.

I have a garden myself, after all. Oh—and Stephanie's my sister, in case you didn't know.

Mom: I want a pool.
Me: You don't even swim.
Mom: I would if they had a pool.
Me: But you hate swimming because you always have to in front of other people.
Mom: But I wouldn't if they had a pool!
Me: Are you sure you're just mad because of the garden?
Mom: I'm not mad because of the—
Me: You'd probably get free tomatoes, if Stephanie participates in it and it's a "share" thing. That's the whole point of community gardens, you know.
Mom: What?
Me: Community gardens: you contribute to the work, you get some produce. Honestly, I don't understand what the problem is.
Mom: Did Stephanie talk to you?
Me: Huh? She texted me earlier but—
Mom: That bitch.
Me: What?
Mom: She must've prepared you, told me about—
Me: Ugh, she didn't. We were talking about my hair.
Mom: Is it normal yet?
Me: No?
Mom: You know, I've been thinking this for a while now, but...are you a hippie, too?
Me: I think it depends on how you define it. Do I think we could all try to live more green? Yes. Do I believe we need more accessible options? Definitely. Do I think the people who are able to should put in a little more effort to go the distance to be green?
Mom: Don't you dare.
Me: Yes, I do.
Mom: I'm hanging up. Call me when your hair is normal.

I called Stephanie.

Me: So, Mom called you a bitch again.
Steph: Because I'm a hippie?
Me: Because you're a hippie.
Steph: Of course she did.
Me: I even tried to romanticize the community garden thing, saying she could get some free food. Free food! And doesn't it just taste better when you grow it yourself?
Steph: She likes Grocer Mart's vegetables.
Me: Ugh. They always feel like they're coated with that stuff that makes stickers sticky.
Steph: Yeah, but they never change anything.
Me: And they say we are the problem with society.
Steph: Is your hair normal yet?
Me: No.
Steph: Good. You do you.