I stand before him.
Our hand grasps together.
As I held my gaze to his.
Waiting for his lip to move.
Waiting for his loving words to speak to me.
Waiting for his heart to open up to me.
Waiting for his warmth to embrace me.
Waiting for his smile to be true.
Waiting for his eyes to stare into mine.
But his eyes seem so far away.
It was then that I knew.
Knew that he was not mine.
Nor was I entity his.
As his heart was somewhere far.
So far that I couldn't grasp his reality.
So far that we couldn't see from eye to eye.
Even if we were so close.
Both of us were so far away.
As if the ounce of reality had disappeared.
Again I stand still before him.
Awaiting his answer.
Awaiting his warmth...
He says, "I love you."
I say... I say...
"I do too..."
But my voice and eyes were far away.
Perhaps hunted by a memory.
Soon I found our hand holding one another.
Inhaling a toxic scent. I wonder to myself.
What does he think of me..?
What do I think of him...?
How long will we last...?
How long will I not break...?
Fear hunted within me.
Silent tears began to fall.
As my throat dry up from the strain.
My mind has become unstable.
He's looking at me now. His eyes frown upon the sight. He asked me, in a worrying tone.
"What's wrong? Are you okay...?," He lifted his left hand to brush against my cheek. Pushing away a strand of hair.
I say, "Yes, of course. Everything alright!," I smile in a cheerful manner. Playfully swinging with his right hand in mine. A smile that felt like a lie.
In disbelieve, the men stop her swinging joy. Pulling up her chin carefully so he could look into her eyes better. Searching for an answer of the girl facade.
As if he could see right through her.
This somehow frightens the girl. But she still kept her eyes open for him to see. Her smile not changing, as if her head was already decapitated not long ago.
The men before her frown deeper. While the girl just stood there, confused but unchanging. Tilting her head to the side to rest on his right hand. Hoping to gain a laughter for her silliness.
But that did nothing to change his expression.
Finally, he spoke once again...
"Don't lie _____!! Something troubling you.. won't you tell me..?"
He asked her desperately.
His voice vibrating as her heart quicken.
To the girl before him whom he held hands not long ago.
But no matter how much he pleads.
She would refuse to utter another word besides...
"I'm fine."
Then finally he held her close.
Without another word...
They stay like that.
As the boy wait for the girl facade to fade.
While sensing the uneasiness of the girl.
Yet at the same time...
The girl was waiting for the terrible truth of the boy.
As her world begins to darken...
Her shadow devolving her facade deeper and deeper than before.
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Original: Mar. 24 2017
Rewrote: August 6 2018
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