“Stop following me!” I screeched quietly, remembering the rules of the library as I briskly walked past shelves, books and studious students. “Leave me alone!”

“I can’t,” replied Sebastian, urgently following behind me. “You witnessed something disturbing, I can’t stand by and let you go through the trauma alone.”

“That wasn’t traumatic, just upsetting. You’d think that the title of Dean or Professor would have some sort of moral value or an inkling of integrity ,” I spat softly then stopped to take a calming breath.

“Is there any moral value where love is concerned?” asked Sebastian, with that quirky smile that I found annoying.

“If your definition of love is having an illicit affair in the shadows of a public library that is meant to broaden the minds of the youth educationally,” I retorted.

“Well…depends on your definition of education,” countered Sebastian. “Illicit affairs are educational, especially if you experience them first hand.”

I frowned at him.

“Not that I have experienced one. I’m more of a one girl type of guy,” rambled Sebastian. “My grandparents and parents only dated each other and are still married –and I don’t mean that my grandparents dated my parents…that would be weird and morally disturbing.”

I arched a skeptical brow while my frown firmly lingered.

“Anyway, my point is I’m from a family with high moral standards and no illicit educational affairs. We even have a family saying, Greys do the right thing even when no one is watching,” continued Sebastian.

“I guess your family must be disappointed in you since you fall more than short of their high moral standards,” I grimaced. “And by the way your family saying is plagiarized from C.S Lewis or J.C Watts.”

“Plagiarized?,” said Sebastian, using his annoying quirky grin again. “I prefer to use inspired.”

“I’ve had enough!” I loudly snapped, forgetting I was in the library. “If you are so eager to gain inspiration by spying on an adulterous relationship in order to experience your own sleazy affair firsthand, then go ahead! Just leave me out of it.”

“But I can’t,” whispered Sebastian like he was sane and I was insane.

“Yes, you can,” I objected in a roar and noticed people staring oddly at me. An unfriendly woman walked towards me and I suddenly remembered she was the librarian.

“Excuse me,” said the librarian, in the correct library tone. “I understand that relationships are complicated especially after finding out your boyfriend is having an illicit affair –“

“He’s not my boyfriend,” I interrupted, defending my morality.

“Well, that’s understandable after your very public and vocalized argument,” said the librarian with such maturity that I somehow felt insulted. “I’ve had my share of atrocious and unethical relation –“

“That would be understandable except I’m not the atrocious and unethical boyfriend,” interrupted Sebastian, defending himself. “I was just trying to explain to her that I have high moral standards, it’s part of my DNA… my family have solid and ethical relationships –“

“Well…obviously you would say that,” interrupted the librarian with a condescending tone, “especially, after you got caught but we all know the truth and this young lady might hear your whimpering pleas but they will be heard on deaf ears.”

Sebastian was finally speechless as the librarian turned to me and patted my hand in a comforting manner. “I’m sorry to say this but you must continue this conversation outside the library. These kind of conversations are always better if they are spoken in a…well…, I’ll be honest with you they are never better. All I can say is remain firm,” advised the librarian. “There will be others more worthy of you.”

“Thank you,” I said, nodding at the sound logic of the librarian.

Of course, you should never forgive a cheating spouse or partner. If you do you’re an idiot with no one to blame except yourself – just ask my mother.

She’s no idiot! 

She’s strong, brilliant, intelligent but… lonely with heartbreak.

My lips trembled as the librarian patted my hand warmly, I wanted to cry. I wanted to weep for my mother who was the suffering effect of an illicit affair and I wanted to grieve because I had witnessed and experienced firsthand the true cause of heartbreak –love.