~A-Li's Perspective~

"A-Li, my baby, your mama wants to tell you a story."

My mother said as she caressed me and put me onto her lap. I was only four then. I didn't know anything. That was the last time I saw her. 

"There once was a daughter....."

~End of A-Li's Perspective~

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~Su Jin's Perspective~

The first time I saw him, I fell in love. 

We were both twelve back then. However, he was calm and collected while I was loud and aloof, unlike a woman. 

"He is enchanting!" I yelled and everyone looked in my direction. Then, they followed to where I was staring.

Everyone started laughing. Some were saying, "A woman that looks for men is no good woman. Only a future slut."

However, I knew that I will only have eyes for that man. After the palace banquet ended, I was dejected. I didn't know when I would see him again. We didn't chat at all with each other. I took few glances and I noticed he did too.

"Su Jin! Su Su! Chang Su Jin!" My little sister yelled in the carriage, bringing me out from my daydream. She was born two years after me, my little sister Yuan, from Madam Zhou who was the fifth concubine of the Chang household. 

Luckily, my father was not there, if he was, I would've been lectured all the way home. But I know that when I get home, my father would lecture me, or may even hit me for "bringing shame to the Chang Family."

It was because of that palace banquet that I fell in love. It was at that banquet that I met him. It  was that banquet that fate tied us together.

At sixteen, I married him because my father went to plead the Emperor saying something like, "My daughter's image is now ruined. She's no longer suitable to get married!"

However, ignorant as I was, I didn't know why my father would go plead the emperor just for me, a daughter whom he didn't love. It was the first time my father came home happily and talked to me. It was also the last.

I didn't care. As long as I can marry him, I would accept, even if that meant entering the palace's harem and compete for the crown prince's favor.

Not long after I was at the age to marry, I was sent over to the palace. There was no big wedding. I was only taken in as his first concubine. Still, I was glad that at least I could see him. I didn't realize I was playing at the hands of everyone, even the man who I wed.

It was spring again and that marks one year of our marriage. I was still not pregnant and rumours started saying that I was unfavored. Later, I was given less food and water. Sometimes, the servants and maids would purposely do something "bad" to me.

It wasn't as bad until my husband "abducted" my little sister, Yuan, to the palace. I didn't know about this until half a year later. They had kept it a secret. I only found out when my maid Bao came rushing one day saying that my husband had an affair with my little sister in his work room. He didn't allow anyone to step into his workplace even me. Yet, he brought my sister there!

Enraged, I ran to his workplace and standing at the door, I was about to barge in. However, I heard him laugh. He never did with me. It was so sweet that it could melt me. I stood there, frozen. 

My little sister whom I loved and my husband who I believe I loved, were now enjoying each other chatting and laughing. 

Was I so stupid and ignorant that I didn't even care to notice their feelings for eachother and stood in their way?

I thought to myself and stepped back. Then, my body dropped down on the ground and tears came flowing out. 

For eight years, I held these feelings for him and only for him. I believed that he would eventually fall for me. Yet, he did not. Now I know.

When I heard footsteps coming near the door from inside, I got up and ran back to my place. Bao ran after me.

If I had known, I would have locked this feeling and put up walls to make sure no one knew. If I could turn back time, I wish I wouldn't had spoke out my mind.

That made me remember. At the palace banquet, he wasn't staring at me. It was my sister who was standing next to me that he was taking glances of. 

Too ignorant! Too stupid! Aaahhhh! 

I knew that I can't turn back time no more. No more, this love will be thrown away. Never to be kept, never to look back on. I will look forward, never the past. 

I will play my role as "his wife" until my life comes to an end. I will not fight for favor because I love my sister too much that I cannot compete against her. They are perfect for eachother. My attitude is not fit to be empress anyways.

This month was the death anniversary for my mom. I was allowed to go home for that week. I did and I didn't go back to the palace for a month. Then, two months, three months, and almost half a year. I was never called back to the palace. 

While staying at home, I heard a conversation my mothers had with my father.

"She's back. The crown prince only favors Yuan and never Su Jin."

"Let's make them get a divorce!"

"Yes! Su Jin isn't fit for the crown prince. She was only used to create an easier path for Yuan." 

"That abortion tea that Concubine Yin sent over to Su Jin must have work well. For these eight years of marriage, that wench Su Jin really didn't get pregnant at all."

"Yeah! And she didn't even realise it!"

Father's concubines continued to talk in front of father and he did nothing to stop them. 

I felt my stomach and caressed it as if I was pregnant. I clenched my fists and all I felt was anger. 

They were really right. I am stupid. So very stupid. Why was I born? Everyone believes that I am only a worthless trash. Am I? 

I thought and thought. 

On that night, I thought of my future. I would go get my mother's dowry and my dowry. Combined together, I would be able to make a living out of it. I will return to the palace plead for divorce. Then, I will throw away my name and start anew.

Everything worked out well with the dowries. I was given my mother's dowry and mine without hesitation because all they were was two small shops: one tea shop and the other was a rundown jewelry shop. Both shops weren't even good enough compared to the glorious ones that belonged to the Chang Family.

Now, I just have to go back to the palace and plead the emperor for divorce. 

Late at night, I was at the palace. I gave a jewelry that was given by the Chang Family to the eunuch to ask for an audience with the Emperor.

I did. I was standing in front of the great emperor everyone was so proud of. He was a man in his late thirties, not too young nor too old, but very intimidating. I heard he married his father's empress a month after his father's death. 

"Long live the emperor," I said in my most confident voice.

The emperor replied with his sharp voice, "You are the concubine of the crown prince?"

"Yes, but I came here to plead for divorce with the crown Prince." 

"Only the husband can decide."

I got down on my knees for the first time in my life and begged. Then, I was able to leave the palace once and for all, without ever looking back. I thought that if I did look back, I may just have regret.

To be continued......