Clyde looked at the clock, it was already past midnight. He grunted at the thought of waking up at 6 am tomorrow. He went straight to the bathroom to wash his face and to brush his teeth. Archer leaned on the bathroom's door frame and waited for him to finish.

"What could you possibly want now?" He irritatingly asked as he wiped his face with a towel.

Archer scratched the back of his head. "Um, the kiss, can we talk about the kiss?"

"What about it? Don't tell me that was your first kiss?" He teased. Surely, it wasn't. Archer has apparently dated lots of girls after Stella. Unless he's a prude. He gave Archer a once-over, he doesn't seem to be prudish. Doesn't have the character for it. 

"I've kissed. I've kissed tons, more than you. I've even slept with them." He proudly boasted. He then shook his head before continuing once more. "Wait. That's not the point, the point is why?"

"You're so-called stalker, who isn't a stalker, asked for proof. "

"So you're going to be my boyfriend?" He asked with furrowed eyebrows and a tilted head.

"Isn't that a one-time thing?" He asked back, confused.  

He fidgeted his fingers "Well, she's the new teacher, can't tell her we broke up all of the sudden. I need her to know that I am taken. I need to keep up appearances to get through that thick skull of hers... Also, there are other more people who may have an interest in me. I need you so that they don't become a nuisance."

"What the fuck? Just how many people find you attractive?!" Because Archer definitely wasn't attractive! He's as tall as Clyde, he's seen him without his shirt on a couple of times. He clearly works out but they're just glamour muscles, one that doesn't have any other use but to make up for their lack of looks. Archer does have that dead fish eyes going for him, all bored and punchable. But when something does interest him, he lights up. Like the time he was reading this comic in the living room and was smiling like a lunatic on a piece of paper. His eyes were bright and brown and his lips were curved into this---no, Archer's fucking ugly.

"For starters, there's this student who keeps following me around, and then there's this other teacher who keeps on taking a glimpse of me. There's also this other teacher who I accidentally slept with, so things have been weird. Oh yeah! I've also been receiving love letters from students, which is very awkward and weird." He grimaced. 

"Good, thought I would have to arrest you. But let's backtrack a bit. What do you mean by another teacher that you accidentally slept with? " He asked.

He scratched the back of his neck. "You see, I am not entirely sure if I slept with him or not. A ton of alcohol was involved." It was during the Faculty Christmas party. Everybody was loose and partying since they did not have to deal with stupid kids until after New Year's. He was having fun, they were having fun and he did not want to go home alone. 

"Him? So you are gay?" He asked for clarification. He had always thought Archer was straight. It's the default assumption, after all. They were never friendly with each other, enough to share details about their love life and sexual orientation.

"No, I used to think I was straight then somehow, I ah developed this tiny bit of a crush on someone when I was young. Brushed it off until I got a taste of the other side and it's nice, quite good."  

"You're Bisexual?"

"Pretty much. I've dated more women than men though. You're the third one. You should be honoured."

"Wow, gee, thanks." He rolled his eyes.

"And what about you? You don't seem to have any qualms kissing me like that."

" Never thought about it." He shrugged. It all felt the same to him and pondering about his sexuality is the last thing he wants to do tonight. He had never been with a man, never thought about it. It didn't matter to him. "I get why you want Stella to stop, but why would you want other people to stop? Don't you want to have a real and healthy relationship with someone? "

"Simple. I'm not interested in having a relationship. I don't want to crush their feelings by outright rejecting them. This way, by having you, I can indirectly reject them. I'm not sadistic, you know?"

"You could be." Archer's nice. That's the one thing he learned about him today. He's nice and he doesn't outright hurt people just because he dislikes them, case in point, Stella. He doesn't understand that. Hurting people is easy, hurting them makes them leave permanently. Why should he care when they've done the same to him? He's given them everything, they don't deserve anything else. 

"I'm a simple man who likes sweets and that girl who hosts that wacky game show, wanting to live a simple life. Is that too much to ask?"

"Yeah, considering that you're asking me to be in a relationship with you." He emphasized.

He placed his hand on Clyde's shoulder. " Come on, help your lovable friend out."

He sighed." What's in it for me?" He gave up, he was already persistent with the whole come-to-the-convenience-store thing, who knows when he'll let this one go. He's very good at tiring people down to get what he wants.

"I'll pay a quarter of your rent." 

"What else?"

"I know you're weird about coffee jelly, I'll give you two every time I need you." Archer knew of Clyde had an unhealthy obsession with coffee jelly. He always ate it as his dessert. There are days when it's the only thing he eats. It's sickening 

"two, and you'll always pay for my coffee."

"I only have a salary of a teacher. I'm not a fucking CEO." He's got money, but not money money. He's just well off because of---reasons too depressing to think about. He never needed a roommate. He just thought having one would liven up the place but he got Clyde, a harbinger of gloom.

"Fine, don't pay for my rent. I'm not that poverty-stricken. I will give you permission to purchase my coffee and my jelly. And now it's up to 6." Clyde already has the budget for rent but not for his sweet indulgence. He does not need Archer to think he has no money for both rent and coffee jelly. That's just pathetic.

He scratched his head "So you're willing to sell your soul for a dessert ?" He asked in an unbelievable tone.

"Are you the fucking devil?" He snarled. " When does this farce end by the way?"

"Until things quiet down or I find a new job, whichever comes first."

"Fine, but this will not last for a year, If it does, you're on your own." He walked away and went to his room. He finally got to lay on his soft bed. He closed his eyes and within seconds, he was asleep.

Archer, on the other hand, couldn't sleep. He kept thinking about the kiss. It was destroying him. He kept on convincing himself that it was nothing, that it just surprised him. It's Clyde, a stubborn, arrogant, stickler for rules! How the fuck can he kiss like that? If anything, he thought he'd be kissing a machine. He took deep breaths and tried to think of something else. He looked at his desk and saw a mountain of paperwork to tire himself to sleep. He got up and began working.