There was a small ceremony in honor of the five chosen Kingsmen and everyone who was still conscience after the tournament was allowed to attend. Despite simply being just a party the tension in the room was almost palatable. Most of the boys who hadn't made it offered us quick congratulations before going back to join their friends. Emery had attended but had pretty much stood in a corner all night, not even speaking with the usual members of his posse.

Gani and Munny came up to me now and Munny was grinning ear to ear. "We made it! All three of us actually made it! The best part is we're going to see Gerner too! It's going to be like the entire purple team is all back toge-" he caught himself. "I mean uh...almost all of us!"

I tried to smile but I just couldn't force it. Gani rested a hand on my shoulder, his gaze filled with understanding.

When he spoke his voice was gentle. "You should talk to him."

I shook my head. "I can't...he hasn't talked with anyone all night." That's when behind Gani I noticed Emery making his way to the balcony outside. 

Gani glanced over his shoulder once before turning back to me and offering a soft smile. "This is your chance, don't waste it."

I swallowed hard. As much as I hated what he was implying I do...he was right. Gani was always right. Finally I have him a stiff nod. "Okay." 

 I slipped past them, making my way to the balcony as quickly as I could. As I stepped out into the night air I shivered instinctively, it was much colder out here tonight then when we had first started our training. I couldn't tell if Emery was aware of my presence, if he was he made no note of it. He was leaning against the side of the balcony staring down. His arms were draped over the rim and his expression was unreadable. The moonlight caught in his pale hair making it appear almost white.

"Emery." He didn't even look up at the sound of my voice.

"What do you want?" He spoke as he always did to me, harshly, yet the usual malice in it was gone. I came to stand beside him now, trying to bite back the new wave of guilt that was threatening to crash down in my chest.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. You're better than me...much better. You should be here as a Kingsmen and not me. I don't-"

"Shut up." I blinked, more surprised by his tone then his predictable words. Emery sighed, turning to look at me. "Stop doubting yourself Nicky. If you were chosen you were chosen for a reason. Do you have an array of terrible traits? Yes. But even I will admit you didn't get this far for nothing. You have talent, you fight and think a different way than the others and that makes you unique and unpredictable. Honestly you..." he stared up at the sky now, "you didn't even need a rigged tournament, from the beginning you've been good enough to be here. You just need to stop doubting yourself and then...you honestly won't be a half bad Kingsmen." We had never spoken about how he knew I competed in a rigged tournament but by now I didn't even want to know.

His words didn't help me feel better, instead the guilt just hit me again like a falling boulder. "And how about you? Are you okay? I know we're not really friends and I'm probably the last person you would want to talk about this stuff with but if you really need to get anything off your chest..."

Emery turned to meet my gaze again. "I just..." he sighed softly. "This is all over. We all have to go back to our old lives except those chosen and I don't want to go back to..." he shook his head. "Never mind. There's no point discussing the unchangeable. Oh and by the way, would you shut up about the friend thing. We might hate each other's guts but (as much as this pains me to admit it) you're probably the closest thing to a real friend that I've had in a very long time." Those words caught me off guard.

"What about your posse...you have so many people around you and-"

"I know what I said."

My mouth still hung open in disbelief. "I didn't think you would tell me something like that."

Emery just shook his head, suddenly beginning to make his way back to the door that led back into the hall. "Why it doesn't matter? It's not like we're ever going to see each other again after tonight." He cast me a strange little smile after he said that before disappearing back into the ballroom.

I was just left staring after him. I didn't know what hit me more, Emery's words or the suddenly painful feeling in my chest when I realized I was actually going to miss him.

-----

I made my way back to my room almost immediately after. I didn't have the energy to interact with anyone else tonight. I decided I might as well pack up my things now. When I arrived however I saw Gani there, a handful of items in his arms, mostly books.

He looked up startled when he saw me. "Ah! Hi Nicky! You coming to get a head start on packing too?" I nodded and Gani grinned at me. "Munny makes a huge mess packing so I decided I should get my things in order before he gets back since his stuff will be literally everywhere."

I gave him a small shrug. "I mainly needed to get away from that room. There was way too much tension in there. Do you need any help?"

Gani shook his head. "I'm all set"

"No seriously it looks like you're about to drop all your stuff." I moved to help grab it and Gani turned the wrong way causing us to knock into each other, falling to the floor. One of his larger books toppled to the ground with a loud thump. "Here I got it." I reached for the book and I felt Gani tense beside me. As I picked it up I noticed something was odd almost immediately. The book felt much lighter than it should have. Instinctively I flipped it open and saw a hole had been carved out of the middle between the pages.

My breath caught, there were multiple items tucked into it. Some money, a small hunting knife, shards of glass, some herbs...the herbs. Trisin...the same kind I had almost drank at the ball. Not only that, the glass looked like piece that had found its way into a poor boy's training shoes. Gani saw my eyes widen in recognition almost immediately and he slowly stood up, his expression unreadable. I felt like I was going to be sick...like this was all some horrible nightmare.

"Gani...you wouldn't...why...."

The boy I had come to respect and care for other these last months just shook his head. "Well shit, it looks like I've been caught."