Dear diary,

… This is bad.

I keep getting distracted by my own thoughts... the thing Jeff said really got to me. I'm working at home but had to still struggle to get things done, and I even had to work late.

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Dear diary,

This is really bad…

I had to go and get some files at work and I ended up bumping into Will. He seemed a bit exhausted, I guess I wasn't the only one overworking, but he still looked handsome. It was such a crazy moment maybe because I hadn't seen him for a while and had only been imagine him in my thoughts, I couldn't help but to avert my eyes.

He didn't say much to me but I still felt the rush in my body as my heart razed. I guess he's still hung up about last time… but I couldn't help to feel happy… I wished he had been too...

I think I'm getting worse… I thought I would forget him if I avoided him but after seeing him today made me remember the kiss. This can't go on…

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Dear diary,

This is very bad!

The dreams have gotten worse, not even when I dated someone would I have this kinds of dreams… and they keep getting longer and more real...

I can't seem to control this, it's like I'm cursed or could it be for gods own sick entertainment? I must do something to stop this… I keep making mistakes… I feel like I'm letting my uncle down, because I'm acting like a teenager that just realised he like someone...

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Dear handsome…

My thoughts has been filled with you and it's affecting my work… I can't seem to make it stop and it keeps growing, so to at least put my mind at ease and make it more bearable… The reason I call you 'handsome' is cus I don't want to feel any attachment more than necessary.

So firstly… why do you have to be so handsome? Why do you have to be in my mind… even my dreams? Why do you have to be in my life...? This kind of questions keep popping up in my mind, and I find myself with new questions instead of answers...

That vibrant smile and soft eyes that just falls so naturally to you, the light air around you that slowly pulls me in.

I would sometimes imagine your low and soothing voice say my name, while embracing me close to you…

I wonder… would a kiss free me from you or would it be sweet just like in my dreams, or... bitter like the reality I am in now…?