A knock on the door had me blinking my eyes open, I slowly pulled away from Max to let him answer the door. I felt ridiculous for losing it like that, whipped at my eyes and hiccuping as I heard Max talk to the person at the door in low tones.
When he came back, he had a glass of water and another tray. I felt my face heat, ears reddening as I realized that he was having someone deliver food for me again. I expected him to hand them to me before going to do something else, I mean he had been spending the last week or so with me. He had to be getting sick of only seeing me all day, he could go out and spend time with his pack or go hunting to get some fresh air. To my surprise, he sat down next to me and carefully helped me with my utensils again.
For a moment, I was filled with shame that probably would have sent me into another fit of tears if I hadn’t looked up to see Max’s caring expression. There was no other way to describe it, the soft curve to his smile and how warm his eyes were. Much warmer than anyone I’d known before.
And that’s what Max was, warm.
It was staggering, the way he was so open. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had smiled so genuinely at me, too distraught from my predicament to notice any of the kind words and motherly looks I gained from Lola. I gave him a tiny smile, the feeling awkward, but I felt a strange sense of contentment settle over me. The fear from before seemed long-gone.
“You...” My shoulders slumped. Feeling Max’s eyes on me, I griped a fistful of the blankets. “You don’t have to bring food here.” I looked up through my eyelashes to gauge his reaction. “I-I can handle going outside.”
“I wanted to make sure you were comfortable.” He seemed to smile freely. I was once again filled with ambivalence, emotions pooling in my gut and swirling in confusing circles. “You don’t have to go out there if you don’t want to. You can stay here until you’re ready, it’s no big deal.” I let out a relieved breath, the discomfort from before evaporating.
“Thank you.” I murmured, leaning against his side gratefully. I stiffened slightly when Max’s fingers dug into my hair, for a moment horror that I’d pushed too far filled me before his palm began to pet along my scalp. I practically melted, the adrenaline that had pumped through me in fear of punishment and the sudden comfort that I wasn’t having my hair griped in a threatening show of dominance, left me jittery.
“Of course.” Smooth and confident, the exact opposite of me. His nails scraped pleasantly through my hair, making my eyelid flutter. Chuckling, he urged me to keep eating as he continued his ministrations. I complied, sleepy and happy.
~
I reached out and gripped the edge of Max’s sleeve, practically clinging to his back. He gave me a comforting smile as he led me closer to the voices in the distance. You asked for this, I reminded myself. You can’t rely on Max for everything. Taking a deep breath, gathering what little confidence I possessed, I followed.
“There’s only two chambers that lead off from the main cave. One for the Alpha and Luna while the others for me and the healer.” I nodded, trying to pay attention, he was trying to distract me from my nerves. I was grateful, feeling better as we walked into the sun light. I blinked, not expecting the intensity of the brightness. It was what, the beginning of winter? It usually wasn’t this bright out, but the light didn’t damper the chill settled in the air. I never cared to keep track of the season until the snow came, all I knew was that was when I had been born. On a snowy afternoon in the dead of winter, I’d come to Chelsea.
I swallowed nervously when the sound died down, people’s heads turning and noses curiously twitching at the new scent. Being among the pups, I’d adopted the aroma of milk and newborns, but now that’d faded into some combination of me and Max’s scents. I could recognize Chelsea, my alpha and Max by smell alone, even if a specific person’s scent was difficult to explain. It was no wonder that most people were confused by the unfamiliar wolf.
I found that stilling my trembling hands was almost impossible as a dozen or so eyes all zeroed in on my small figure, half hidden behind Max. The tension in the air was too much for me to handle and I watched as the edges of my vision started to black out, dimly realizing I wasn’t breathing.
Suddenly, warm brown arms wrapped around my shoulders and tugged me against a soft chest. Gasping in a shuddering breath, I looked up in confusions to see Lola smiling kindly down at me. I hoped I hadn’t been standing still without saying anything for too long, I flushed at the thought.
“You haven’t seen the pups in forever! You have to come say hi.” Before I could stutter out a response, Lola was already tugging me towards the loud children in the corner. The stifling tension from before seemed to melt away, people figuring that if a mother was letting a stranger near her pups, they must be trustworthy. No one could mess with someone’s pups without major consequences.
Breathing a sigh of relief, I gladly followed Lola. I watched as both pups and toddlers shrieked at one another, tumbled over the floor and cashed each other around in circles. A few she-wolves kept a close eye on the boisterous children but none of them seemed annoyed with the tumult. None of them seemed close to snapping at them to shut up. I winced as the loud talking and shouts grew in volume, stomach twisting uncomfortably.
I watched as they tumbled over each other in their haste to run to their mother, crying out greetings and rising in calls of “Mama! Mama!”
I licked my lips, eyes darting over the chaotic bunch. There were only five kids, but the mayhem they unfolded made it seem like there were dozens of kids running around. I flinched as they drew closer, crowding around the newcomer. I drew back, unsure of how to respond. I couldn’t tell words apart and their voices. As if sensing my discomfort, Max was suddenly by my side. A warm palm pressed against my back and I gave him a shaky smile. I jumped as small hands gripped my pants and another pair of arms wrapped around my knees. I looked down to see a little girl rapidly wrapping herself around my legs and staring intensity up at me while a boy looked up with wide eyes as he clung to some of the material.
“Er...uh...” I looked up at Lola, lost. She shook her head, exasperated yet fond.
“River, get off him at once. Shawn, introduce yourself to Luka.” River reluctantly unstuck herself from me while Shawn released me and toddled back over to his mother.
River ran over to tackle one of her siblings, starting another mock-fight that brought many of the siblings with her. The two that remained were watching me intently, one of them with a smile while Shawn just stared solemnly.
“Sorry, they’re a handful.” Lola said, roughly Shawn’s golden curls. “It seems that River recognized you vaguely. Sorry again about her, she’s been very touchy recently.”
“I-it’s fine.” I said, despite the shakiness to my tone. Max began to rub my back and I found myself relaxing despite the way my heart was still swiftly beating.
If I’d been as rambunctious as Lola’s pups, I’d have been slapped across the face and not allowed a meal. These pups were regarded with affectionate guidance and correction when required, not harsh words and threats intended to keep them up and night and cower when they neared.
“How are you feeling?” Lola asked. I shrugged, feeling awkward under her gaze. She was so gentle, she treated me like I was one of her pups. I kind of warm feeling fluttered in my chest for a moment and I found myself smiling up at Lola, gratitude and something else I couldn’t identify swelling in my throat. I breathed in steadily and leaned closer to Max, enjoying the steady rhythm he set. I practically melted under the petting, suddenly feeling rather tired.
I didn’t get to go to sleep, though.
Instead, I was tossed from wolf to wolf to endure introductions and adult ‘small talk’. I was feeling more and more drained as I met more and more people. Max seemed to sense my waning energy and steered me away from the pack into a secluded area. I recognized the area as a kitchen, a bonfire in the center of the room, a few counters for preparing food and a few other assorted things for serving both wolves and people. I was sat down at a chair, a small table that could at most hold four people had a dozen or so chairs crowded around it.
Max was bustling about behind me and I leaned my head against the palm of my hand, mind going blank and eyes lazily blinking. I jolted awake when Max set a plate down in front of me, smiling sheepishly up at him before picking up the fork to try and correctly wield it.
Somewhere in between bites, I looked up to see a pair of eyes pinned on me with a fiery look. I froze, feeling my heart leap into my throat. She was probably my age, her face a cold slate as she glared down her nose at me. Lips pinched, eyebrows furrowed, she looked like she was moments away from throwing a punch. She had a fist rested against one of her large hips, clenching the other one tight. After another moment or two, she scoffed and turned on her heel to saunter away. I unclenched, a gasp leaving me as I stared after her with my mouth still hanging open.
Max’s hand was resting against my forearm, grounding me. I realized he’d been saying my name, I turned towards him with and blurted, “Who was that?”
Max frowned and turned his attention over to the retreating figure of the scary lady. “That’s Shay.” he said slowly, eyes narrowing. “She’s...not very friendly. I’d stay away from her.” I nodded, feeling like I could follow that advice. She didn’t seem the type to want to be friends, I shuddered at the memory of her piercing brown eyes with a flat cold look. I had no clue what I’d done to get on her bad side, I didn’t want to find out. Hand shaking slightly at the prospect, I quickly resumed my meal.
I’m ashamed to say I clung to Max as we headed back to his room, unwilling to part from his side lest the scary lady returned.
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