It's already 9pm and I have decided to go home. I always walk from school to the bus station and usually it takes 15 mins only. But this time it took me 30 mins to arrive.
While walking I was thinking about this unknown feeling... I feel like there is a big rock inside me that is as twice as heavy as I am. My energy is being sucked and I feel completely down. I also was't able to finish my sandwich earlier because I feel like full.
Since our last meeting (I am referring to that woman) I have begun starting to feel this emotion. I really feel bad and awful. You know I'm use to lying ... sometimes?And I'm okay with that( I'm not bragging, I'm just justifying myself from all those judgmental people out there). Since she called me "Liar" I have begun remembering all the lies I said. I feel dirty and stupid.
There are times you have to lie to make things easier.
I let out a loud sight. (I'd done so many sigh-ing lately. Sigh, again)
I put my right hand on my left chest and whisper, "Please be fine."
I've read it before that talking to your heart is a great way to relieve stress. A philosopher once said "Heart is a worrier. The brain knows how to solve the problem, but the heart worries a lot."
Since then I always talk to my heart. I don't know if that really works or not but, it works for me. I don't know if it's some kinda psychological thing.
9:42PM and I'm still waiting for the next bus at 9:50PM.
Waiting is another game I'm not good at especially when you have this heavy feeling inside. I just want to sleep. They say guys are not good at waiting, but I must disagree with that. When a girl asks you to wait for a second they are actually asking you to wait for more or less 30 mins. They would even debate about it and justify what they have in done for the previous minutes wasted. As a guy, you can not show your irritated face, you can not frown, you can not sigh, you can not look mad or bored, you just have to smile and control your breathing like you just waited for 3 secs.
Sigh.
I'm alone waiting.
9:56PM and there is still no bus coming.
I texted my mom. - "Will be late."
And she replied - "ok. Let me know if you need a lift"
I replied - "I will. Thanks"
Another sigh.
I should have counted the number of sigh's I made today.
"How can you think of me for 3 days straight, but within a split of second you're all over her?" said by a woman beside me
I haven't notice somebody arrived.
I feel a sudden joy inside.
I quickly turn my head to the woman beside me.
She is wearing a black jacket with her hood on, black skirt, white long socks, and a black shoes. She's holding a backpack. She seem to be looking on her shoe lace and I can't she her face.
My heart beats fast.
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