Standing in front of the mirror what do I see,

I see a shell of a girl that used to be me,

I see a fake smile placed there to fool the common eye

while in reality I just wish I could die,

go fast and without pain,

tears falling down my cheeks like soft rain

knowing I’m being selfish and thinking of only me

but in the mirror that’s not who I see.

I see the scars painted with pain

and how once upon a time they were keeping me sane

hearing the voices echo in my mind

saying I can never move on, never leave my sorrows behind

chained to my past and how I was bent

at the time not knowing what my words have meant

spreading pain for anyone close to my heart

and in the end I was only thrown apart

I put them above myself you see

that they’d be safe from the monster inside of me

the darkness I feel day and night

because of people who told I had no right

people who kept me like a toy they could use

knowing I won’t speak out against their abuse

they made me feel empty and yet I here I stand

in front of the mirror holding my own hand

because I’m so used to getting treated like the ground

that I’d keep quiet and not make a sound

keep my pain inside is what I believed was right

keeping my pain from everyone’s sight

because being hurt is seen as a being weak

so my voice was stolen I can’t even speak,

speak of my pains, my sorrows I hide

letting them grow and rot me inside

going through my day more hurt than I was before

dealing my with my own shit and being given more

from the words that are spoken to break me down

to the laughter I get like I was some circus clown

but I keep my words in my mind

and only respond with something kind

even though they hurt me and I want to cry

but all I can do is stand there and try

try to not show that they get to me

because they don’t know what I see

their words shake me to my very core

but I know that I can do so much more

I know that I can be my own worst nightmare

and the things I can say about myself would give them a scare

for how can it be that someone so kind

can be the one breaking their own mind…

standing in front of the mirror what do I see…

I see a girl crying only wishing to be free…

~Angi