I have my moments

Where I relive adolescent torments

These moments span through the days

The hours

The minutes

The seconds.

They were minor things

Committed by minors

With little understanding of the damage

Of the faulty chemistry

Their 25 second teases

Would inspire

As they tormented me

To tire

To such dire mortal ponderings.

At 13, these moments lessened

Yet, there was a lesson to be had

Unable to move past those

Jeers and cheers of my demise,

As their words cloyed

At my soul

Sent me to the arms

Of rage

Where I found comfort

In a swathe of red rays.

Overtime

The rage provided me little

An outlet that set my soul afire

Scorched as it vomited the toxins

Begging for something other than blistered scars.

Exhausted, I built a nest and buried deep

Into eaves of hyaline blue.

Where my social deformities reflected

Began to cry nonsensical babblings

Causing my ears to bleed, my stomach to turn.

But it was warm in that cave

Where no could enter

Where I could not ascend

There I remained for eons and more

In caverns that were crafted

Of sleeping till 4

Heavy blankets

That mimicked the warmth of others.

Yet I felt, nothing.

So I dove into that nothing

And there was the void

Unfeeling

Unresponsive

Welcoming

So I stopped there

And remained

Floating

Amid the ink.

Deceived

Safe.