I have my moments
Where I relive adolescent torments
These moments span through the days
The hours
The minutes
The seconds.
They were minor things
Committed by minors
With little understanding of the damage
Of the faulty chemistry
Their 25 second teases
Would inspire
As they tormented me
To tire
To such dire mortal ponderings.
At 13, these moments lessened
Yet, there was a lesson to be had
Unable to move past those
Jeers and cheers of my demise,
As their words cloyed
At my soul
Sent me to the arms
Of rage
Where I found comfort
In a swathe of red rays.
Overtime
The rage provided me little
An outlet that set my soul afire
Scorched as it vomited the toxins
Begging for something other than blistered scars.
Exhausted, I built a nest and buried deep
Into eaves of hyaline blue.
Where my social deformities reflected
Began to cry nonsensical babblings
Causing my ears to bleed, my stomach to turn.
But it was warm in that cave
Where no could enter
Where I could not ascend
There I remained for eons and more
In caverns that were crafted
Of sleeping till 4
Heavy blankets
That mimicked the warmth of others.
Yet I felt, nothing.
So I dove into that nothing
And there was the void
Unfeeling
Unresponsive
Welcoming
So I stopped there
And remained
Floating
Amid the ink.
Deceived
Safe.
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