~ALEX~

This is it.

This is the night.

I’m sorry…

The blade slices quickly through my skin, splitting me into pieces. I can’t stop, even though I know I should. Ferruginous red slides down my thigh, sticky and potent, but oh so very worth it. It burns, but I don’t hate it. Please, I just want it to last a little longer, this feeling of satisfaction.

“Alex!” I hear screaming, but I can’t move. Damn, why am I still alive? I open my eyes, but all I can make out are blurry figures floating above me. Loud sobbing echoes around me. I silently reach my hand up, but the figures fade, of course. I feel my body being lifted up and set down atop some sort of stretcher, no it’s definitely a stretcher. Are they trying to save me… why? I’m not worth the trouble, just let me go, please.

I came to my senses in a hospital bed. Legs bandaged, a pain in my chest, and a pounding headache. I tried to sit up, but I could barely move. It wasn’t supposed to go like this. I know that I am in over my head, I can’t hide it any longer, I can’t control myself. I sink back into the bed and the tears come. So I just close my eyes.

“Alex,” I feel something at my bedside shift, a chair squeak, and a rough palm pat my head. “Alex, you fucking idiot,” he chokes out. I smile softly at the emotion in his voice, it makes me think that someone really cares, even if it’s not true. “You know how much I would miss you?” Nate whispers.

“I know,” I sob, “I’m sorr-” He cuts me off, placing his hand over my mouth.

“Shut up,” his eyes crinkle slightly, “Come stay with me?”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”