Matthew and I were racing around each other trying to get more power to the bridge to send out any kind of single back to earth. They needed to be updated on the station that was going on here and if we don't make any kind of radio noise up here then they will think we dead up here but we haven't. We are still fighting and still breathing. But for how much longer can we hold out like this? We have a hole in the side of the ship and people who aren't supposed to be up are up. We lost supplies that were meant for this trip to Mars. Now we have half that and I don't know what to do. I need to calm down and hope that Matthew fixes the communications relay.

“We need to seal the hole, or we are shit it if luck and all died,” I said and Matthew nodded his head in agreement. “But how Matthew is one of five who are qualified for space walks and all five of them are out cold,” I said. I hit the wall in frustration. Damn it I thought to myself you died or have to wait until they wake up to see if they can actually repair the hole in the haul. Or we send someone else to do it and pray that they do it right. This is something I didn't sign up for. I didn't want to be the leader in yet here I am making hard decisions that apparently, I can only make because our original Captain is also out cold and possibly dying because he is bleeding into his brain. I wish this didn’t happen but there was a 5% chance that it would happen so for 3% of it happen and in the 2% that might happen we are there blow up in a fiery ball in cold space or lack of oxygen and freeze to death. I would rather the latter if not, none at all and go back home to Earth not Mars. But then again, we can't go back to her we’re almost halfway to Mars. Well not for another 2 months into our trip and this happened, and it would take 4 months to get to Mars and unlike Earth. Mars doesn’t have a atmosphere where we would burn up an entry because that would happen on entry of the Earth. So, our only choice was to go to Mars and to survive but anything can happen between then and now. There’s a 2% chance that we’re all going to die and that's not something I want to happen. We have to wake up more people and the check manifest logs, check everything in order to seal the holes from the inside and out. We need to get the ships life support system up and running and we need to go to Mars we need to go now.

Okay, I’m ordering everyone to check this ship’s logs for anyone who’s qualified for spacewalking, welding and anything that can keep the ship afloat. we might only have a 2% chance of actually surviving but that's better than none. we need to fix our ship and go to Mars that’s the only way we can survive, the only way we can live. Going back to Earth will kill us. we already have the preventive measures setup on Mars to survive 6 months and in that time earth is going to send more supplies to us. This is the only way we can live and I know that a lot of people aren’t going to like it but they’re going to have to go with my decision because if we go back we won't survive.

Life on the big green-blue planet was easy. And life on the red one was going to be hard but this made it extremely harder, but just trying to get to that red planet that's going to kill us. I needed to talk to anyone to someone about saving the lives on this ship. My mind is racing and I can feel my body grow anxious. my heart rates picking up my breathing is becoming erratic. I wanted to shut everybody out but I know that I couldn’t because if I do we're all lost. I have to hold on to my sanity. I have to hold on to my sanity with everything I have because if I don’t we're all going to die and I won't let that happen. I won't let these people who actually wanted to go to the red planet down. Because of my anxiety and stupidity. I won't let these people died because of my cowardliness. I'll do anything and everything in my power to help them survive even if I lose my mind at the end of it I will do what is right.

I call the subs-leaders to the bridge to discuss a plan of action, that meant anyone who was awake and was in charge or they're second in command. So far it was me and my five division leaders and Paul the head of security. He was looking worse for wear with one arm in a sling and a bandage over his ear but other than that he can move. Kind of wish he wasn’t here but he was the only security head awake and his second and third were knocked unconscious. I couldn't believe this but we’re about to discuss planning how to survive with one person who did not like me for my sexuality and walked me and brought up memories of my dead girlfriend. This was just great. It was such a joy working with him but I wish I wasn’t. I wasn't going to let him have a say in this matter but he was one of our heads. I can either be a dictator and send him away or be democratic and hear him out. I wanted the letter but that wouldn't set a good example for the other heads who did not know me so well.

We started the meeting once all the subdivision leaders were in the bridge most of the subdivision leaders were up and around with minor cuts and bruises while three were knocked out. Their Replacements entered. Everybody was Milling around while I was with my division leaders discussing the next plan of action before the meeting was called. I wanted to confirm with the Ava of how many casualties they were and also wanted to confirm with our head Rockets engineering what the hell we needed to do in order for this to go away. “Alright Ava I need to know the numbers everyone who is injured or dead and Matthew I need to know what we need to do in order to fix this hunk of metal,” I said and they told me the numbers and what we needed to do. Ave pulled up all the names of everyone who was injured or dead on her tablet and sent them to me while Matthew calculated the numbers on getting us to Mars safely. Matthew said we definitely needed to fix the holes in the ship's haul in order for us to continue moving forward safely.

After Eva gave me the numbers and Matthew did the math everything was starting to seem a little less shitty and a lot more manageable. After my talk with the with the two, I went to the other subdivision leaders and start it asking for advice on how to make our trip more efficient and smooth without us all dying. Some said was to immediately fix the hole, treat the injured and just keep pushing forward. I meant that was what I wanted to do anyway but others said turn back to Earth. I also pointed out to them that even if we did return to Earth reentering the atmosphere would most likely kill us because of the holes in the ship haul. That’s what got them mumbling and thinking about coming on this mission. Another said we should fix the communication relay in order to give HQ a sip rap. I made that a top priority next to fixing the holes in the side of the ship because it actually slipped my mind that we haven't received any messages from HQ since this all started. I told them to start working on that right away with Matthew and they rushed off to fix the communications. 

I just hope they fix it fast enough for us to give them a report on our status and what we will do next. They did say the first to discover new land either died trying to get there or live long enough to die getting there and I think we’re going to die trying to get there but that’s just me being pessimistic I need to stay positive as their leader nothing will not phase me. I need to stay calm and be proactive in the situation I can't let my anxiety overtake me. It was in times like this I wish I was still on Earth. On Earth I can panic about turning in a thesis paper or procrastinating but I’m not. I’m on a spaceship that is falling apart going to Mars and I can’t let my anxiety-riddled brain overtake me and fling myself into the void of space.

No matter I want that to happen I have to stay strong for the surviving crew I have to stay strong no matter what. Even if I go insane after this it's the least I can do even if I was forced into this. After my internal monologue with myself, I went back to business and started doing rounds on the bridge speaking with each and every subdivision leader about waking up individuals in order to help repair and maintain this ship. Paul wanted to wake up more security Personnel but I felt that we didn't have a need for it, but then I thought about it if someone were to mentally lose it and start hurting themselves or others that wouldn’t be a great thing. So I order him to activate four out of the 36 members of his crew that were still in their stasis pods.

Next, I wanted to awaken two more doctors to help Ava with the injured. Then I wanted to wake up three more mechanical engineers to help calibrate and restart the system with Matthew. Becky and Ava, Matthews twin sisters, we’re biomechanical engineer’s and well I just left them in charge of the pods so that the people who are on life support can stay alive that’s their main goal. I, on the other hand, was running around checking different systems on board to make sure we can still make it to Mars. With more people up and around the ship became kind of crowded for my taste, but with more hands on deck means we can fix this ship faster and the faster we do that the faster we can all breathe a little easier. I just hope we can make it.

With Matthew and one crew member working on the communications relay and the math on how to patch up those holes, we were finally able to re-establish receiving communication but not outgoing communication. We received several messages from HQ asking what our situation was and what’s going on up there but we couldn't get send them a message just yet. I already have something pre-recorded for Matthew to send down but it will still take some time before the communications are up to 100%. Someone still needed to take a space walk to patch up the holes in the outer haul and to see if we still have an antenna on this bird. I prayed we did.

Everything was on my mind and I just needed it to slow down just for a second so I can breathe. I stepped away from the command console close my eyes relax my body and took a deep breath in and out. My mind started to somewhat function properly again. I decided that the person working with Matthew will be doing the space walk. He was too important to risk on the spacewalk. Matthew and the other engineer, Anthony, would be working in the tendon to seal both inside and outside holes. I just hope everything goes well.

On the matter of the spacewalk, Anthony didn’t want to go but I convinced him to do it because if he wasn’t going to do it we were all going to die. It was as simple as that. I mean I know that you’ve never done a spacewalk before but nobody has. We desperately needed someone to go out there and fix the holes and to check if there was still an antenna on this metal bird in the cold void of space. I mean even if he wasn’t going to go I am now acting captain and I can order him to do it I was about to order him if he was not going to go on this spacewalk that can potentially save our lives. Eventually, he understood the nature of the situation a whole lot better and he reluctantly put on the space suit. 

I mean if I was in his shoes and someone told me to do something that I wasn’t qualified for or anything in that matter I would be yelling no to, but this is a situation where we need anyone to go out there who remotely knows anything about this field and he qualifies for that. I wasn't going to put Matthew in space he is a division leader and if anything were to happen to me he would probably be the next one in command same thing with Ava Judy and Peter. I couldn't risk their lives but I can risk their subordinates lives. That's all that really matters to me because of anything weird happen to me these four would take over.

As Anthony dawned on his suit we triple checked the seals and oxygen tank that was provided. We attached to him to the inside of the ship and open up the airlock. He was mumbling and grumbling the whole way out but he had his tools and sheets of metal to close up the holes in the ship’s side. But before he did that I asked them to check on the inside of a person to see if they need any fixing. "Hey Captain it's a Anthony the guy who doesn't want to be in the spacewalk I got some news for you we still have the antenna but it's a bit out of shape," he said. "What do you mean it's a bit out of shape?" I ask him. He cleared his throat and said well it’s snapped in half but I think I can weld it up right again in an attached the wiring and connectors to it so we can get an outgoing signal but I don't know if I can do that all on my own just yet. Was all he said and I thought about setting someone else out there with him but some of the space suits were damaged. Okay I know that I said we have to close the holes as a priority but we have Matthew already working on the inside sealing some of them and I know this is a lot for you to ask but can you please just do a quick patch job so we can send a message down and then after that a few days from now we can really focus on fixing it I told him. He understood what was asked of him and quickly went up to do a patch job.

About an hour later he was done and told us to check to see if we can send anything. One of those sub-leaders was near the communications relay and I told her to do a simple message of we’re alive we’re safe and we’re in a little bit of trouble was all I told her and she understood what she had to do. She kept the incident breath and simple and told HQ that we will respond again with a better Communications. We immediately received dozens upon dozens of calls asking what's going on but there's only so much we can tell them in such a little time.

And then we heard something strange. It was like a wailing noise or I can best describe it as I will signal it was weird and yet alluring. I wasn't the only one who heard it because it was broadcast over the speakers some people start with their we’re doing do quietly listen to what others were just us perplex as me. "What is the strange signal?" I said aloud.