{Chapter Four} 

“I'll tell you if you're doing something wrong, or if I want you to pose a certain way. But honestly, think of it like having sex: just do what feels natural, Lev.”

The words echo in my mind even now, six hours after I left my mom's office. I don't know why I can't get the words out of my head, though I'm sure it has something to do with me nervously blurting out to Jer after he said those words, that I've never had sex. Then his face took on this unreadable expression before he silently began taking the pictures as if I hadn't said anything.

I sigh as I stare up at my ceiling in the dark. I can't help but think about Jer though. Something about him intrigues me, makes me want to spend as much time with him as I possibly can; while at the same time I don't want to spend more time with him because these weird emotions are messing with my head. I groan and turn to bury my face in my pillow, forcing my eyes to shut so hopefully I can get to sleep soon.

~ ~ ~

“What's wrong, Lev?” Lydia immediately asks when I pick her up the following morning. I contemplate lying, though I know she would figure it out if I lied so instead I tell her the truth; the truth I had only discovered earlier this morning while I was getting ready for school.

“I have a crush on...someone.” I mutter, not having the guts just yet to say 'I have a crush on my mother's boss', out loud, where it would forever be let out in the world, would be a secret no more.

“Who?” she inquires, practically jumping in her seat at the thought that I have a crush. I sigh, glancing at her quickly at the stop sign.

“You can't tell anyone.” I remind. She nods immediately at this. “It's Jeremiah, my mom's boss.” I admit quietly, grudgingly.

“Wow,” she whistles then continues; “what are you going to do about it?”

“I don't know. What am I supposed to do about it?” I shoot. She shrugs, looking out the window which I've come to learn is what she does when she's thinking. Meanwhile all I can seem to do is drum my fingers against the soft leather steering wheel, trying not to think about Jer. Of course I can't stop thinking about him; I can't help but think about his beautiful golden brown eyes, his dark tattoos, even his clothes are appealing.

“How about we skip today, we can just skip the first half of the day and go have some fun.” Lydia offers when we're a few blocks from the school. I glance at her, thinking about this before I shrug, pulling over.

“What are we going to do?” I question and she seems to think about it for a moment before grinning, causing me to wonder if it was a good idea to agree to skip.

“We are totally going to the mall.” She states and I shake my head but don't bother arguing. Instead I start my car and head to the mall.

~ ~ ~

“Oh! We have to go to Jay-Vee's. Of course,” she adds, bouncing around the mall like an overly excited puppy. I roll my eyes, wishing I hadn't agreed to carry the bags because now I'm stuck holding ten bags for Lydia. The sad thing though is not a single one of them are mine, I haven't bothered to buy anything save for a few meals at the food court.

“Yeah, yeah. Lead the way.” I sigh, trying not to feel embarrassed when we walk into the lingerie store. Of course people don't seem to be looking at me, or at least the other woman aren't, I can't say the same for the men. Because every time I catch the eyes of a man I see the sad look of pity cross his features before he trudges over to his wife or girlfriend who squeals excitedly over all the lacy bras, thongs, and all things in between.

“Lev, do you like this?” Lydia questions quite loudly a few feet away, drawing the attention of a few of the other shoppers. I turn my gave from the strange pair of crotchless panties that were placed on a mannequin to see that Lydia is holding up a lacy blue nightgown. I sigh, feeling my face threaten to heat up but I push it down and merely walk over to Lydia, done looking at the weird underwear on the mannequin.

“I don't know, it's pretty.” I offer but obviously that's not what she's looking for because she rolls her now-pink eyes. One would think it's strange that she insists on wearing colored contacts, especially because her natural eye color is actually quite pretty, but I guess the shock has long since evaporated.

“Oh you're no help at all.” Lydia mutters before a girl our age, possibly older, comes over with a bright smile.

“I'm sorry, I couldn't help but overhear, I just had to say I think that would look beautiful on you.” The girl says, her eyes solely on Lydia who's attention is still on the lacy blue fabric in her hand. It makes me wonder if Lydia even heard the nice girl.

“I don't know, you don't think it would be too much?” Lydia questions, turning to look at a mirror with the nightgown held over her body, no doubt wondering what it may look like. The girl shakes her head quickly, but I'm not sure Lydia noticed.

“I think it's perfect. I'm sure your boyfriend will love it when he actually sees you in it.” She adds and finally Lydia turns to the girl, her eyes darting between the two of us.

“Boyfriend?” Lydia echos in question. The girl tilts her head to the side slightly, glancing at me.

“Isn't he your boyfriend?” The girl asks and Lydia cracks a smile, looking thoroughly amused.

“Oh no, he's just my friend. We're gay.” I swear my heart stops and my eyes bulge out of their sockets at that. It's not that I mind being gay, but I barely just came to terms with the fact that I have weird crush on my mom's boss. I'm not ready to come to terms with actually being gay, let alone tell anyone. Though the girl doesn't seem to care, if anything she actually looks excited. Then I watch her, realizing she hardly spared me a glance, and is watching Lydia.

“Oh,” the girl says, biting into her lip a bit. Lydia shrugs and grins, reaching her hand out towards the girl.

“I'm Lydia, this is my friend Levy.” Lydia explains and the girl smiles brightly, taking Lydia's hand in her own.

“I'm Victoria Grace. It's a pleasure to meet you, Lydia.” She adds, holding onto Lydia's hand a moment too long after her introduction. I don't comment though and instead glance at my phone, attempting to pretend I got a text message.

“Oh, darn, Lydia. I need to go, my mom just sent me a text.” I lie and Lydia sighs, looking quite put out by this.

“Oh hey, I could drive you home if you want to stay. I don't have anything else to do today.” Victoria explains, hope filling her pretty green eyes. I nearly chuckle at that but instead grin, glancing at Lydia expectantly.

“That would be great, wouldn't it, Lydia?” I prompt and she rolls her eyes at me but smiles at Victoria.

“Yeah, that would be awesome. Go ahead go, Lev, oh and leave the bags with me.” She adds. I nod and drop all the bags to the floor before giving her a quick hug. I leave the store, thankful I don't have to be there any longer, and walk towards the exit of the mall. I check the time, realizing I have long since missed not just school but the time I was supposed to spend shadowing my mom. I don't mind though, being out with Lydia and shopping, as grueling as the ordeal was, kept my mind off Jer.

Of course, I don't mind my thoughts turning to Jer, but it's just painful because there is no way I would ever be able to get into a relationship with Jer. For one, he's older than me, by *ten years. And then there's the small little problem of him being my mom's boss. I sigh heavily before all the air is knocked out of me as I'm shoved to the ground. I huff and look up but freeze when my eyes land on the person I ran into – Jer.

“Ow,” I state pathetically, having nothing better to say as my mind seems to revert back to a child, whipping my mind of any possibly coherent things to say. Jer seems surprised to see me but chuckles and holds his hand out to me, allowing me to get a better look at the thick black cross permanently etched into his flesh.

“I'm sorry, Levy, I didn't see you there.” He apologizes while I grab a hold of his warm hand and allow him to help me off the ground.

“It's okay, I mean, I'm fine. I wasn't paying attention.” I ramble, dropping his hand when I'm securely back on my feet. His lips twitch with a smile at my ramble but he doesn't comment on it.

“You didn't come to the office today, was the assignment over?” He questions and I avert my eyes from his.

“No, I skipped school with my friend. I had every intention to go today but time sort of got away from me, by the time I checked the time it was already too late.” I lie because I didn't have any intention of going to school nor to my mom's work today. He chuckles at this and motions for me to continue where I was going, no doubt planning to follow and talk rather than stand in the middle of the mall to talk. I begin the walk to the exit once more with Jer next to me.

“Don't worry, Levy, you don't have to lie. I understand that you don't want to spend time at the office, I don't mind. Though just a heads up, your mom is a bit mad that you never came.” Jer explains with an honest tone and a carefree shrug while we exit the loud, crowded mall. I cringe at that though, unable to help myself from thinking of how mad my mom probably is.

“Damn,” I mutter and Jer laughs a bit while we walk through the parking lot.

“I'll say, I feel for you, she is a scary woman when she's mad.” Jer adds with a shudder and I sigh, unable to help myself from nodding in agreement.

“I know, she's intimidating.” I reply and stop in front of my car. “Well I better go, it was nice running into you.” I add, shoving my hand into my pocket to retrieve my car keys. I unlock the car with the remote and walk towards the driver's door when Jer's voice stops me.

“It really was a pleasure running into you, Levy. Good luck with your mom, love.” He adds, his lips upturned with a small smile before he turns and walks away. I stare at his retreating figure for what feels like at least five minutes, though I'm sure was no more than a few seconds.

*Love? What could he mean by that? Or maybe he just calls everyone love, like when a waitress calls someone hun. That would make sense, except for the fact that I've been around him for nearly two weeks and I've never heard him call anyone love. Then again, I'm probably just over thinking this because of my stupid little crush on him.

I sigh and roll my eyes before I get into my car to drive home, hoping my mom isn't too mad at me when I do arrive home. I don't feel like being chewed out right now, especially because I can't even tell her the real reason I skipped today. The reason that I happened to run into at the mall, and who called me love. Yeah, she definitely can't know, no one can.