5th of Lulida 2,198

Hello again. It’s me, Damien. I’m writing this today because I once again had an extremely horrible nightmare followed by some awfully troubling experiences. My day started off bad and simply got worse. The past two days had been perfectly fine, nothing out of the ordinary. The change of essence affinity seems to have had very little impact on me, or at least I think so...

Work has been progressing pretty steadily as one would assume. I haven’t been able to make any more progress on the use of destruction as a medication. Apparently, the vial that I injected myself with was the last of what we had. I had thought my colleagues would be mad at me, but to my surprise they were a lot more worried about me than they were angry.

I have been attempting to at least somewhat learn about the abilities I now have access to and how they may be used for medical applications. However, I had lived my whole life with access to ice and now that I have this much more... gruesome ability, it is a bit hard to adjust to.

Due to the dream nightmare that I had last night, I am not entirely sure whether or not I should really be trying to further these abilities though. In this dream, it almost felt like I was watching myself do things... terrible things that I truly wish I could unsee. I watched myself go to my therapist like I had been planning to. I sat down and before we could even talk, I reached my hand out, a crimson red seal already formed on it. And then, as I feared, the blood began to drain from her body. It all culminated in a pool right in front me.

When I looked down, I could see myself reflected in it, a twisted grin had crawled on to my face. I wouldn’t be as worried as I am, had I not gone to her offices right after work today and found that she wasn’t in. In fact, nobody even answered the door. I currently fear the worst. That my body had been taken over at night by Astralik and he willed me to do something so unspeakable.

I believe that there may be a way to help me, but I will need the help of my colleagues at ANCR. I will speak with them tomorrow to see if they know of any way to possibly help me an if they do not, I will simply see if my method of curing this... virus works or not. Other than that, there is not much to say for today. Oh right. I guess I should mention that I am going to try and stop by my therapist’s office once more, but I do not know if that will really help me or just worry me more.