You can guess what greeted me as soon as I arrived home. It looked like March was waiting for me. She didn't waste any chance to grill me while we ate dinner. All I wanted was to lie in my bed and to temporarily forget all the things that bother me but apparently I was not even allowed to do that. She cornered me until I relented.

"You have a lot tell me, Adrien." She crossed her arms across her chest and glared at me. Most people would be scared by now but not me. I mirrored her form as I smirked at her.

"You do know that I was the one who taught you how to do that, right? That won't work on me."

"I don't care. So, did you really date that annoying girl?" I sighed. Why is she so determined in finding out about that. Didn't she thought that I didn't told her for a reason?

"Yes. But that doesn't really matter."

"Yes, it does! I'm your friend! Besides, I thought that you like guys. How come-"

"I do!" It's just that I tried really hard to hide it from my parents. They carry enough in their plates. I don't want to burden them with that.

"Then why?" I tsked.

"Did you just tsked at me?!" She gasped and look at me with amusement. I stared at her with a blank face. Her mirth slowly dropped from her face as she realized that I'm truly annoyed.

"Didn't you thought that I didn't told you for a reason? March, the reason why I came here is because I want to leave my past. Didn't you notice how I don't talk about it at all and I always avoid that topic."

"Adrien-" It seemed that she finally went back to her senses.

"March."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm just tired." I pursed my lips before retreating to my bedroom.

I'm really sorry, March. But it's not you.

***

When I was still a kid, when she was still here, I saw the world as the most colorful and curious place. When we were still one family, everything seemed to be alright no matter what good or bad might happen. My parent's were always there to care for us. She had Mom and I had Dad. We were living in our own little world and space just for us.

Then that day came. All those years of colors and fun and curiosity suddenly turned black and white and dull and repeating. Up to this day, I still can't believe how years of brightness turned to darkness just because of one fateful day. Just one day defined all the things that we cared and protected for, for years.

If only I did that. If only we didn't left you. If only I was not a child. If only I was more brave. If only you didn't left us. If only. If only... There had been a lot of if onlys since that day. I thought that I was the only one that was still bothered by it. Apparently, not. My parents successfully hid it from me. I was grateful and angry at the same time.

There were also a lot of should haves that followed if onlys. I'm grateful that I met March. Truly. But that doesn't mean that I'd easily trust her with things that truly bothered me deep inside. I know that it's been a year but I don't believe that it'll really disappears. Our worries and loneliness exists for a reason, I believe.

They exist for us to differentiate contentment, sense of belongingness and love. Without the bad, there won't be good. It exists to balance out a lot of things. I know this but I'm still human. 

I bleed. I fall. I crash. I break. And sometimes instead of balancing, the bad things just overcomes the good. That's how I feel this time.

That's how I feel for a whole ten years. I might have been in denial and ignoring it at first but it all changed when I heard the truth. Instead of moving on, which I thought I was doing, by denying the past and ignoring the pain I unknowingly froze my time. I stopped caring.

"I hate this. I'm tired of pretending. It's exhausting."

"I'm also tired but I love him too..."

"He should've been the one who's gone!"

"I also loved him but all I feel now is hollowness."

"I miss her."

"I miss her too but..."

"But he's not our true-"

"Don't say that!"

"I'm just telling the truth!"

I just stood there, behind the wall, frozen. I heard her wails and cries. I heard his gentle voice comforting her but her wails drowned it. Her voice and cried echoed in my mind as I stayed there not knowing what to do. Defeat and resignation coursed through my veins as I made up my mind.

I quietly walked towards the entrance before loudly opening it before closing it with loud slam. To let them know of my presence. I was tempted to just burst into the room and confront them but... Her wails and cries kept me from being selfish. 

I realized that I've been selfish for a long time. I just thought of myself and it's time for them to rest.

I wiped to definite dread that's in my face and shouted, "I'm home!". I heard shuffles and sniffles before saying. "I'm going out with Clare tonight."

I climbed up the stairs before giving them time to speak. I immediately grabbed my phone and wrote a message.

Yes, Clare. My answer is a yes. -Adrien

***

"March! Open the freaking door!" I shouted when I woke up with loud knocking on the door. I groaned as I shouted again but no one replied.

"Ugh!" While stomping my feet, I walked towards a door with a purpose. Whoever is behind that door should have a great excuse for waking me up. Or else.

"Mmph!" As soon as I opened the door, a body slammed into me. I quickly pushed the body away before wiping my lips.

"What the hell!" I exclaimed at the girl on the floor.

"Who the hell are you?!?" it shrieked.

"You're the one who suddenly put your disgusting mouth one me! You tell me!" Fantastic. I wake up in a bad mood to find out that some crazy girl decided to knock on a stranger's home before kissing the said stranger. I glared at her as my sleepiness immediately vanished.

"How dare you!" I scoffed at her finger that is pointing at me. If my glares can kill, she'll be six feet underground now.

"Don't point at me, bitch!" Ugh. I hate it when I wake up in a bad mood, I can't control what comes out of my mouth. She slowly stood up as her legs shake a little. Who wears heels that high?

I kept my eye on her while she scowl at me. I was about to say something when I caught something behind the wall. I ignored the crazy girl in front of me before walking towards the figure.

"You better have a good explanation why you're hiding behind that wall laughing."