{Chapters Twelve}

You know that moment when you do something and can only think of what you're doing in that moment? When all other thoughts fall away and all you can think about is the moment you're in. It's a great feeling, until the moment is over and reality crashes down on you.

“Oh no,” I mumble when I pull away from Jer. I can't read his expression but that's the last thing on my mind. I mean, it's just a kiss, it's not like I cheated on Ian but I shouldn't be having these thoughts in the first place. I should be thinking of Ian, not wondering if Jer enjoyed the kiss.

“Oh,” Jer hums, understanding flooding in his golden eyes. I still can't tell if he's mad, weirded out, or otherwise and it's beginning to freak me out. The only solace I get is the fact that I won't have to see this man again after a few more days, so if he gets mad I won't have to awkwardly stay at my mom's work while he glares at me or something.

“I'm so sorry,” I say immediately, worried about his reaction. His expression gives nothing away still and it gets to the point that I just want to demand he tell me what he's feeling.

“It's okay, Levy.” He assures and I stare at him in surprise of his calm, almost amused tone.

“What?” I ask, dumbfounded. He laughs a bit and it eases my nerves a bit to hear the loud sound but it confuses me all the same.

“Levy, I knew when I first met you that you felt something towards me, and if I'm being honest I can feel something between us. So it's no surprise to me that you did that, I practically egged you on.” He adds with an unconcerned shrug. I don't know how to respond to that, am I supposed to laugh? Tell him it wasn't his fault?

I have no idea how to react, how to respond, and it doesn't help that all I want to do is kiss Jer again. I don't know if he can read my mind or something but he must have understood what I was thinking because a small grin appears on his face and he leans in to peck me on the lips.

“What was that?” I question when he pulls away. He shrugs, his golden eyes twinkling.

“It seemed like you could use it. Plus I kind of enjoy kissing you.” He adds with a smirk. I stare at him for God only knows how long before he clears his throat, glancing away from me. “Look, I know this isn't right but maybe when your assignment is over, we can talk sometime like over dinner?” I blink, once, twice, then find myself nodding.

“Uh, sure, that would be nice.” I mumble stupidly, giving no thought to Ian, or the fact that this is my mom's boss for that matter.

“Well great, look I have to get going but I'll see you soon. It was nice having lunch with you, Levy.” He adds before leaning over to kiss me lightly on the cheek. “I'll see you soon, love.”

With that Jer leaves me alone with my thoughts. Thoughts that immediately go to Ian, poor Ian. I can't be with Ian if all I can think about is Jer. It's not fair to either of them if I do that.

The obvious choice would be to dump Ian, considering I know I'll always have stronger feelings for Jer than Ian. But how could I do that to him after learning what his last boyfriend did? If I broke things off with him it would destroy him, and I don't think I could do that to him.

I sigh and leave the mall, deciding I need to talk to Lydia about all this. However, when I text her to ask if I can come over to talk, she doesn't reply. I assume she's either out with Victoria or is in the midst of being lectured by her parents. So rather than go to Lydia's I just drive around for a bit both to think and clear my thoughts.

Eventually I go home in defeat because it is getting late and Lydia still isn't answering any of my messages. I park next to mom's car and go into the house but freeze halfway up the stairs when I hear Mom talking to who I assume is Dad.

“I'm telling you he's hiding something, Greg.” Mom hisses at Dad. I stop on the stairs and listen closely, intrigued and a bit scared about what she's talking about.

“Honey, what do you think he's possibly hiding?”

“I don't know!” she cries and I hear her sigh loudly.

“I really doubt he's hiding anything worse than any other teenager hides.” Dad assures.

“He is, I know he is. I just don't know what.” She continues. Before they can continue talking I loudly make my way up the stairs.

“I'm home!” I call out as I go into my room and close the door. I drop my keys and wallet on my dresser before I change out of my clothes. I turn out the light after noticing the time and get into bed, hoping I can talk to Lydia tomorrow about everything.

~ ~ ~

“Hey,” I greet Lydia when she gets in the car during lunch. I didn't have to take her to school today though since her dad's car isn't impounded anymore, so this is the first time I'm talking to her alone. I open my mouth to start talking about the Ian and Jer situation but pause when I notice her less than happy expression, and her lack of contacts, revealing her natural brown eyes.

It's at that moment that I realize two things: one, something obviously happened with her parents because that's the only time she doesn't wear any color contacts; and two, there was no way I was going to tell her about my problem right now.

“What happened?” I demand immediately. She sighs and goes into her explanation.

“I introduced Victoria to my parents yesterday because she wanted to meet them. They seemed to be on their best behavior, until Victoria left and they told me I couldn't see her. I got a bit mad,”

“Lydia,” I groan, sighing heavily because I know when she gets mad, she doesn't just get mad. She throws a fit then her parents find some way to punish her or make her feel guilty.

“I know, I know. So they got mad and grounded me after I let slip that I love her.” She continues.

“I'm sorry,” I reply and glance at her out of the corner of my eye. She's biting her lip and looking out the window but I can tell what she told me bothers her despite the fact that she's going to pretend it doesn't. I know it bothers her that her parents disapprove of her being bisexual, much less in a relationship with a girl. Though I don't push the subject because I know it won't help, it'll probably do more harm than good.

The drive to her mom's work is silent and though I don't mind it I can tell Lydia is relieved when we get to her mom's work. She gets out of the car and I nod at her in a goodbye because I know she doesn't want to talk, not even to say bye.

I go to my own mom's work and park in the usual spot under a large tree. I sigh and get out of the car to head into the building. The receptionist glances at me, seems to attempt to smile as her painted red lips twitch then goes back to her work. If she was actually nice I would feel bad for forgetting her name even after hearing it numerous times throughout the month. I walk past her and go to my mom's office, hoping to spend the day here.

“Oh Levy, good you're here. Jeremiah is in his office, he's going to explain a bit more about the production process.” She greets and I want to argue but if I argue she'll get suspicious so instead I just nod and go to his office.

“Levy, it's so great to see you.” Jer greets when I reach his office.

“Hey.” I reply and go over to his couch to sit down. He doesn't look away from his computer at first so I take the moment to take in his appearance. Today he's only wearing a simple gray t-shirt that shows off his seemingly endless black tattoos around his arms with blue jeans and sneakers. It makes me wonder why he's almost always dressed so casually but I don't need to even wonder because I know. He's dressed casually because he can be, plus I know he's wearing his own clothes since I saw that exact outfit in the catalog I had looked through the other day.

“Okay, so today I'll go ahead and tell you about how we produce our clothes.” He starts and I roll my eyes, interrupting him before he can say anything more.

“Please don't, tomorrow is the last day of the assignment and then I'll give my presentation. I already have what I need, and you've told me about production four times now.” I add with a laugh. He glances away from his computer screen to look at me in amusement.

“Have I really?” he asks and I nod. He laughs and shakes his head, typing a few more things before shutting his computer down. “I never noticed. Alright, lets talk about you then.” I sober up quickly, staring at him in confusion.

“What?” I have to ask for confirmation.

“Well, you already understand everything about the company, so lets just talk. I don't have anything to do today anyway, I could use the entertainment.” He adds before getting out of his chair to sit on the couch next to me. I turn to him, still confused as to why he would want to talk about me. Then again, he said he wanted to get to better know me yesterday so I guess that makes sense.

“Okay...” I reply and bite my lip. “What do you want to know?” I ask at last. He seems to think about this as he tilts his head to the side and looks at the plain white ceiling, perhaps the only blank space in the room that isn't covered in drawings, papers or pictures of clothes.

“Hm, do your parents know you aren't straight?” he asks finally.

“My dad does.” I reply with a shrug and he nods in understanding, not seeming to have to ask about my mom. He probably knows her well enough to know why I'm hesitant to tell her. “What about yours?”

“My what?” he asks in confusion.

“Your parents, do they know?” I clarify because I'm honestly curious. He doesn't talk about his personal life, or really anything other than work.

“Do my parents know you're not straight?” he muses and I roll my eyes in exasperation.

“No, do they know you aren't.” I say. He nods in understanding but the look on his face makes it obvious to me that he was only playing dumb so he wouldn't have to answer the question.

“No they don't, I don't talk to them.” He explains.

“Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Why don't you?” I question.

“They just weren't all that supportive when I was trying to build my company, they wanted me to become a lawyer like the rest of the family. They wanted me to get a good job, a wife, a couple kids, and get a mortgage. I knew it was better to disappoint them because I started a clothing line rather than have them disappointed in me because of who I love.” He explains with a shrug.

“I'm sorry.” I reply and he shrugs once more.

“It's fine, really. I'm over it.” He assures with a smile.

After that we just continue to talk casually until it's time for me to leave. I gather my things and stand while Jer does the same.

“I'll see you tomorrow,” I say and start to leave but he grabs my arm gently to stop me. I turn to face him but I'm pulled into his arms before I even finish turning. He hugs me quickly before releasing me and taking my hand to place a kiss on top.

“I'll see you tomorrow, love.” He replies with a smile. I nod, a smile of my own finding its way on my lips, and then I leave the office.