{Chapter Nineteen}

“Levy,” I moan and open my eyes, cringing at the pain in my neck. I look around, noticing I'm in my car still, and realize I must have fallen asleep at some point after we got into the car from the ice rink. I glance outside my window to see where we are, and after blinking with a yawn I register that we're still on the highway back to town.

“Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep.” I say with a small laugh. I stretch as best as I can while in the car to try to wake up but honestly I still feel like if I close my eyes I'll fall asleep again.

“It's okay, Love. I don't mind.” I just nod, blinking slowly before my eyes shut again. I jolt awake though when my head falls forward and I blink rapidly in surprise.

“Oh crap, I did it again. I'm sorry, Jer.” I mumble but he just laughs.

“It's alright, Love, you didn't actually fall asleep though. You just closed your eyes a minute ago.” He explains and I groan but nod.

“Right, right.” I mutter, rubbing at my eyes. I realize though as we come closer to town, that I can't drive home, I'll fall asleep and crash. So either Jer is going to have to drive me home in my car and walk back to his office where his SUV is, or I'll have to leave my car at his office tonight so he can use his to drive me home along with himself.

I don't actually like either of those options. I don't want to leave my car out in the open like that, I mean this isn't a crime ridden place but there is a bad part of town, and hoodlums that think it's fun to ruin other people's stuff. And there is no way I can let Jer walk alone in the dark at, whatever time it is.

I glance at the clock, my eyes widening when I realize it's already past midnight. My eyes flicker from the glowing green numbers to Jer as I begin to worry about how we're both going to get home. I open my mouth to ask him just that but he interrupts me before I can speak.

“Levy, I don't think you should be driving. And I can't take you home, my office is too far away to walk from your house. Are your parents expecting you home tonight?” he asks, looking over his shoulder quickly before changing lanes to pass a slow moving blue Honda.

“Uh, no, it's Friday and I usually stay the night with Lydia on the weekends.” I explain. Ever since we were little Lydia and I had stayed with each other on the weekends. Of course her parents weren't okay with it, only allowing it because of how much we begged and even then they made me sleep in the living room. That is until she came out to them and they assumed us staying together may lead to something that could apparently “fix” her.

So now they're always asking if I'm coming over because they still have it in their minds that we're going to do something, which is really disturbing. But nice because now the two of us can hide in her room with the door locked, blast music and do whatever we want.

In fact it was because of this that the two of us manged to get drunk our first time last year. But mostly we just watch TV and talk. Jer nods and I glance at him, waving my thoughts away to focus on his words.

“You could stay the night with me. We can take your car, leave mine at my office and you can just drop me off tomorrow to pick it up.” He suggests and I stare at his silhouette for a bit in surprise. It isn't until a streetlight passes over us that I realize his expression is nervous, as if he expects me to reject his offer.

No, that's not it, I realize, he's not nervous about me rejecting his offer, he's nervous about me coming to his house. I blink in surprise at that realization that just brings more questions but I quickly push the questions away for another day so I can answer him.

“That sounds great,” I assure before he can backtrack, because I can tell he was about to. He nods and I smile, reaching over to lace our fingers together on the gearshift.

The rest of the drive is silent, though probably mostly due to the fact that I keep dozing off, only waking up when my head falls foreword or we hit a bump. I can't help but rejoice when we make it into town and park in front of a nicely sized modern gray one story house. Jer shuts the car off and gets out while I yawn and send Mom a quick text to check in, telling her I'm with Lydia. At the same time I make sure to send Lydia a text to tell her to cover for me.

When I'm done I reach out to open my door but it opens for me and I realize Jer opened it for me. I smile at that, rolling my eyes as I stand but I nearly collapse as my legs were apparently nod ready to stand. Jer catches me though, laughing a bit against my neck. I huff but smile anyway, shaking each leg to make sure they're ready to be stood on.

“You okay?” Jer asks, reluctantly removing his warm, ink covered arms from around my waist. I nod, biting my lip a bit as I take a step forward. My legs seem to be okay, just a bit shaky, though I cling to Jer's arm anyway because I'm not sure I trust them not to give out again. Jer shuts my door softly before clicking it locked with the remote, shoving the keys in his pocket and moving towards his front door with me still hanging on his arm.

He doesn't seem to care though that I'm using him to level myself. He leads me up the three steps to his white door and digs around in his pocket for a minute before producing a set of keys. He unlocks his door, and if I hadn't been hanging on him, I wouldn't realize he's beginning to shake.

I want to ask him about it but I stay silent because I get the feeling he won't want to talk about it. So I keep my question to myself, pretending I don't know he's shaking while he pretends not to be shaking. It really makes me sad, because it's apparent something is wrong, and I get the feeling it has to do with his parents and his panic attack yesterday.

His parents had to have done something worse than merely just yell around or at him, and it honestly breaks my heart. But I push those thoughts away quickly, glancing around the clean, but kind of barren living room. He leads me through the room, filled with nothing more than a TV, desk, couch, chair and coffee table.

Through a doorway is a hallway, leading past a kitchen, dining room, a backdoor that probably leads out to a yard, and two doors on the right that are closed. Jer opens the one closest to us, revealing a nicely sized bedroom. Though, it's pretty empty too. Only a bed, desk, dresser, closet and a few other random things are in the room.

I also note it has two doors, probably one that leads to a bathroom and another leading to the room next to this one. I briefly wonder if the other room is a spare bedroom but I don't honestly care at this point because I'm exhausted.

“This is nice,” I mumble past a yawn, covering my mouth in an attempt to stifle my yawn but it doesn't help. Jer nods with a small smile before leading me over to the bed, letting me sit down. It isn't very big, I honestly expected him to have a huge house with a huge bed, but the bed is just a regular double bed with a simple black quilt and white sheets.

“You should go ahead get some sleep, if you want I may have some pajama bottoms that may fit you.” He offers but I shake my head with another yawn, kicking my shoes off and scooting back on the bed. I pull the quilt down along with the top sheet and after I discard my shirt to the floor I slide under the blankets. I yawn, closing my eyes until I hear Jer's footsteps retreating.

“Jer,” I call, my voice terribly tiny as I attempt to stay awake a few more minutes despite my body trying to shut itself down for sleep in the comfortable bed. I force my eyes open to look at Jer in the dark, the only light coming from the streetlight outside his window.

The light is enough though because I can see the nervousness present in Jer's golden eyes, I can tell he's still shaking slightly and my heart clenches at that but I quickly banish those thoughts. I move my hand out of the comfort of the covers to outstretch to him, waving him over.

“Come here,” I order softly. He looks reluctant but walks back to the bedside slowly.

“What do you need, Love?” he asks me, his voice barely a whisper. I smile though I'm not sure he can see it, and reach out to take his hand in mine.

“Get in bed, I'm tired and I want you with me.” I add, thankful that it's too dark to see the blush on my cheeks from how embarrassing those words sound coming from me. He looks reluctant to oblige but nods slowly, removing his own shirt, jacket, shirt and shoes before getting in the bed next to me.

At first he doesn't move and I can tell he isn't relaxing. But I move over to wrap one arm around one of his while I drape the other over his bare chest and rest my head against his chest. I kiss his chest lightly with a small smile while he begins to relax under me.

“Goodnight, Hon'. I love you.” I murmur, sighing in content as my mind begins to shut down for much needed sleep.

“Goodnight, Love.” Jer whispers in reply and I fall asleep as he begins running his fingers against my arm soothingly.

I wake way too early, the sun seeming to still be coming up, giving me just enough light from Jer's window to realize I'm alone in the room. The bathroom door is ajar and I can tell it's empty in there too so Jer has most definitely left the room. I groan, falling against the soft feather pillow behind me before I slide out of bed.

I shiver but make a mental note to thank Jer for having carpet rather than cold tile, laminate or wood flooring. I leave the room, looking around the hall and wondering where he went. I move to the living room until I catch sight of the back door that's open a bit. I contemplate going back in the room to put my Vans back on so I won't have to walk outside without them but I honestly don't want to so I don't worry about it.

I walk down the frigid hall, the cool air from outside seeping in from the open door and making goosebumps rise on my arms. I shiver but continue until I'm at the back door. I push it open, noticing there's a nice back deck so I won't have to worry about wearing shoes out. I walk out and see Jer leaning against the bright orange wooden railing of the deck with his back to me. I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist from behind him.

He stiffens but slowly relaxes when he realizes it's me. It makes me smile a bit as I rest my head against his back, closing my eyes. Until I smell the scent of cigarettes that I swear I've never smelt on Jer before. My nose scrunches up in distaste at the smell and I pull away to stand next to him, realizing he has a cigarette in his right hand.

“I didn't know you smoked.” I state, staring at the glowing white cancerous stick between his fingers. He shrugs, lifting the cigarette to his mouth to take a long drag, exhaling the smoke slowly as he flicks the ash to the ground below us.

“I don't often, my parents hated this kind of stuff, so I kind of got used to not doing anything like drinking or smoking. But I like the flavor, and they relax me a bit.” He explains with another unconcerned shrug. I watch him for another minute as my still-tired brain processes his words. There it is again, I realize, him mentioning his parents. That makes me wonder though, if his parents disproved of drinking and tobacco, what did they think of his tattoos? Piercings?

I continue to watch in silence while he stares out at the yard, enclosed by a large gray brick wall. He brings the cigarette up to his mouth once more, inhaling deeply before rubbing the butt out on the wooden railing and dropping the ruined thing onto the deck. He glances at me and smiles a bit, moving to wrap his arm around my waist.

“Come on, Love, you look exhausted.” He says as he leads me back in the house. It isn't until we're in the warm confines of the bedroom that I realize I'm freezing cold. I shiver and move closer into Jer's warm arms. He seems to laugh at this as he leads me back over to the bed, pulling the covers back so we can slide back in. I cuddle up against him, taking comfort in his body heat as I attempt to warm up.

He wraps his arms around me while I rest my head on his chest and close my eyes. After I warm up a bit more I find myself yawning as my previous exhaustion comes back, and soon I'm falling back to sleep. Happy for the moment in the arms of one of my loves.