The warmth of his hands seeps from his palm into my skin when he caught my arms. Damn you, Tristan! I'll freaking kill him when I saw him again.
"Adrien?"
I gulped, stepping away from his touch. My breath hitches after realizing the awkward atmosphere filling the air.
"I..." I cleared my throat. My throat feels like its contracting, my palms are sweating, while the thunderous pounding of my heart is all I can hear. I wouldn't be surprised if he can hear it too. I can't even look pass his chest from the embarrassment.
Will he be disgusted?
"Why were you avoiding us?" I heard his voice, clearly, for the first time in a week. I gulped, shaking my head.
"I wasn't avoiding anyone. I... I think it's better if we stop hanging out from now on. Besides, A-" I huffed. "Allison would always try to kick me out by her rants. It's better this way."
It's much more easier this way. I exasperatedly exhaled.
Suddenly, I flinched when I heard a groan. "Unbelievable!"
"Do you even hear what you're saying? Adrien, just admit what you did and stop hiding from it. We're your friends! You don't need to hide or shy away from us. I don't understand why you have to avoid me because of a simple-"
My mouth is wide open at Charlie's words. I can't believe that he'll... he'll...
"No! Don't think like you know me, Kane! All of you don't know the real me!" I snapped, interrupting his rambling. From the intensity of the beating of my heart, it almost feels like someone is pounding my back with their fist.
He just stared at me with a frowning expression. His arms crossed on his chest. I glared at his cold, green eyes with annoyance. How dare he say like everything that haunted my thoughts for the past week is that simple?!
"And don't call that kiss like it was so simple for me! It was tormenting me for the whole week!" I tsked before turning around. Taking a deep breath, I clenched my jaw to calm my pounding chest and head. I shouldn't have followed March.
"Amielle." I jumped, feeling his hands gripping my arm. "Where do you think you're going? We are not yet done here. And how did you know that that's what I meant? You also know nothing about me."
Oh god! What's happening right now?! I wanted to pull my arm from his hold but my feet is stuck frozen to the floor. I don't even think that I can move. His presence behind my back is too overwhelming. I can sharply hear his erratic breathing, like he's suppressing something bottled in his chest. I can feel the warmth of his hands seeping where our skins have contact.
"Charlie..."
"Stop avoiding us. Stop avoiding me. Look at me, properly." He whispered behind my ear. I felt his warm breath touch my nape. I hissed through my teeth at the goosebumps that erupted around the area where I can feel his presence the most.
"I'm sorry." I murmured, dread creeping in my skin. "I-"
"Please, tell me what you feel. There's no one here but us, Amielle. No one will judge you, I'll never dare do that to you. I just want to know why you did what you did. I want answers. If you can't do this for yourself, do it for me." I gulped. My whole body feels cold as I quietly listen to him speak.
"Don't worry about anyone might say. I'm the only one who can here your words."
I took a deep breath before loudly exhaling.
"I... I don't know what to say..."
My lashes fluttered when two large hands dropped on my shoulders. Slowly, he forced me to turn around to face him with my head still lowered to the ground. I feel his breath on my forehead causing my own breathing to stutter.
The tense atmosphere around us caused me to ponder on my thoughts. Should I admit it to him? Should I admit it to him when I'm not even into terms with my feelings? Why do I have to be impulsive when it always backfires?
"Amielle?... Adrien?" I just shook my head without answering. No. I would not say anything until I admitted it to myself. I don't want to involve him with the storm in my head until I'm certain about the role that he plays for me.
"It was nothing. I just wanted to rile her up. I was just tossing fuel to a fire." I finally muttered, my shoulder slumping. His grip tighten on my shoulders, I notice. "She was being annoying and persistent and I wanted to let her taste her own medicine. that's all.
For a long time, he hasn't said anything. We merely stood there facing each other, but not truly looking for only a couple of minutes, but it felt like a lifetime. Until I heard a faint voice.
"Then... why were you avoiding me? Why did you found the need to not face me when it was all to rile her up?"
"I... I thought that she'll still be with you guys... and..."
"Stop lying." My breath hitched as he hissed.
"Char-"
"Admit it. Admit that you l-"
Fine.
"Fine!" I exclaimed, shrugging his hands from my shoulder, pushing his chest away from me. I almost flinched at the sensation of his pectorals beneath my palms but I held it in. "You want to know the truth?!"
"Yes! Lay it on me." He glared back as I narrowed my eyes, furrowing my brows. Stepping away from him, I clenched my fists to stop myself from punching away the expression that he's giving me. His emerald green eyes are wide and his jaw is clenching.
"It's all your fault!" I blurted out, pointing his chest. "When you suddenly showed up and made me remember, I lost control! The façade that I've been keeping and the thick wall that I've been building was slowly shattered by you! You and your.. your-"
As I shout and dump my anger and frustration on him, his jaw slowly relaxed and the hardness in his eyes slowly softens.
"Amielle…"
"You made me remember, Kane." I refuse to call him by Charlie. It feels too intimate if I called him by that. "I hate feeling this way. I hate feeling like I'm an alien in my own world. I dislike it that I don't belong anywhere and never will be."
He flinches.
"I... like you... ok?" I muttered under my breath. Something flashes in his eyes as he stared at me. At the same time, I admit to myself. I really do like Kane... or Charlie. No... I like them both.
"Was that too hard?" He softly whispered with a small trace of a smile appearing on his lips.
I nodded.
"Very."
"I see..."
"Are you satisfied?" I sighed, suddenly feeling tired. He grinned.
My eyebrows arched. "What?" I mouthed.
"I like you too."
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