Hello, my fine bachelors!

These are the best years of your life, your prime, your golden years. Such time should be dedicated to worthy endeavors like travelling the world and living life on the edge. We only have so much time on this earth, so where’s the sense in pushing all the good stuff to the end? But many would have you think this isn’t the way you ought to be living your life.

The world would have you think that there is nothing more important than being in a relationship. But we all know what a lie that is. Relationships mean making reservations and meeting parents and buying expensive gifts and a whole lot of other mess you’re better off without. Nothing makes you feel lighter (and your wallet feel heavier) than being out of a relationship.

But everyone seems to be on a mission to make you feel terrible for it, especially for the holidays. Your mother, sister, brother, neighbor, and even coworkers seem to need to add their two cents in on the matter. Day in and day out, it is all people want to talk about. It seems like it will never end!

Just remember that, in the end, you get the last laugh. You aren’t suffering through having to drive a minivan with antlers and a giant red nose or wrangle with a house filled with kids or figure out how to wrap presents neatly and let some imaginary old guy and his unpaid interns take all the credit. The ball and chain of marriage and kids isn’t tied around your ankle, and the demands of a relationship isn’t insisting that you do things to humiliate you in front of all your friends.

No, you are free, my fine bachelors. If you want to go to the Bahamas or Jamaica and spend your Christmas on a beach drinking out of half a coconut, you don’t have to ask anyone-- you just get up and go. Or if you want to get smashed with some buddies for Christmas Eve, no one is going to yell at you if you wake up at noon on Christmas Day. Or if you want to not spend an entire day figuring out how anyone can actually string lights up around a house, it’s as simple as you deciding that decorations is overrated anyways.

Bachelors, you truly embody the brand of freedom that adulthood promises us. But it can get a little rough this time of year, I understand. Mom can be a bit persistent with her questions, and it does tend to bring a guy down. But that’s what this is for! This guide is here to guide you back into the light that is the joys of bachelorhood. Our goal is help you remember the wonders of being a single guy. Let us show you the way back to lives of excess and parties and bring back the happiness that should come with the holidays.

Onward to Happy Holidays, my bachelors!

~A Bachelor’s Guide to the Holidays