“Dreaming about an elephant means you will have luck, prosperity, and success if you are a wise person who knows how to take advantage of the upcoming good time in your life.”

— This… — the doctor tried to say something about what he just saw. — This can’t be… Humans can’t be this awful.

— They can. For what I know, the shadows are formed by humans’ souls who were bad in life and all they do after that is trying to do those bad things again, using whoever is in front of them and are weak enough to be controlled. If that was happening, is because all those shadows did that before at some point in history. That’s just they repeating what they wanted to do…

— How… — the doctor was almost speechless. — How did you deal with that?

— I just waited for it to end and… I confess… I wanted them to finally kill me that day.

— Have you… tried to do something about it?

— Fighting against so many people feeling my whole body hurting was impossible. I couldn’t hold my mouth open for too long and I ended biting one of them. That person punched me so many times it broke some of David’s teeth, left my face purple with so many bruises and… the worst part… they didn’t stop until every single one of the twenty-four of them had finished it.

— I… I never heard about such brutality…

— Do you still think that I just made it up?

— That would be… inconclusive. Eventually, there are parts of our mind that may produce such episodes if we get on a loop of thoughts and the loop keeps processing it in the worst way possible and…

— Okay. I understand. I almost thought for a moment that you could have understood me seeing the same things I saw.

— No, no, no… — the doctor made walking around π12-45. — You are still projecting your expectation over me. I’m not the one responsible for what happened to you!

— So… Why you still pretend that you help people to find solutions? Wasn’t that the reason why people come here?

— What I do is to help people help themselves. I will not find the solutions to them!

— I was afraid you would be like that, yet, I’m here waiting for you to realize that blaming me for what happened will not bring any help to me.

— You want me to trust you about that…

— Precisely. I have no comfort for telling you this. Speaking it out only make things worse. As you are the last one who could say anything about it to me, I will proceed to talk with G.O.D and ask to be finally deleted.

— You can’t just delete yourself! You… You survived and need to tell other people how they should do with what happened and…

— Stop — π12-45 said with a quiet voice. — I’m not here to lead people, to help somebody else. I’m here to help myself to find someone who can actually understand that it happened, being impossible to happen or not. This haunts me every day… How many times do you think I have killed myself?

— Do you mean… Have you tried it again?

— Seven. That’s the number. This is my eighth body. I only proceed to reclaim my old name and things because I needed to use my Id. Otherwise, I would just let it go. I don’t want to here anymore. It suffocates me how cold being a robot is compared with the chaotic human world. Eventually, as I wasn’t programmed to feel bad about it, I just let myself be…

__________

I couldn’t move. I wasn’t able to move my legs, there was this iron taste on my mouth and the sorrow was all I had. They left me on the floor and put a sheet over me to not look at me anymore. I have no idea how much time had passed until Esther was called to see if I was dead or not after the person who was responsible to clean up the dormitory found me.

I wanted to scream while they took me to the doctor room, but I couldn’t, even my voice left me that day. Esther put a flashlight on my eyes and said:

— Can you say anything?

— I… — my voice was so hoarse I couldn’t even say I was saying anything. — I… I didn’t… I didn’t… drug… myself…

A tear rolled my face. She smiled and then she made something I couldn’t see what it was, but she came back to give me an injection of something. I blank it out and I just wake up on the Mother Factory again, one a new, new body. I escaped again the same way I did before. However, when I looked at our beloved city and I remembered everything everyone said about me, I just went back and waited for them to take me to the recycling area and have my body melted to nothing.

Waking up as David, I was still in the same room. I was no longer feeling in so much pain as I did before sleeping, the broken teeth were extracted and there was just some space on the right side of my mouth where they should belong, with some kind of line stitching it up. My whole body was sore like I was exhausted for doing too many exercises.

— You finally woke up… — said Esther, opening some kind of curtain around where I was laying.

I wanted to ask her what happened, but remembering it just made me say it again.

— I didn’t drug myself…

— Why are you still telling me this? That will not change what you did.

— I didn’t do it… — I turned my face to the other side. — Why you didn’t let me die?

— That’s my job.

— No, you are lying. It isn’t supposed to be part of your job treating me like this…

— I did my best to help you…

— Why… Why you let them do that with me… then?

— These things happen every day here. I can’t stop them when I’m not here.

— You know about those things and you still let them happen… you are not helping anyone…

— I’m just a doctor. I can’t make miracles!

— If that happens to me again… I don’t know if I will survive… Please, don’t let them do that to me again…

— I can’t help you… — she just said, leaving me alone in the room.

After some time, someone came to bring me food.

— Hey boy — said a man voice. — Are you awake?

— Hi… — that’s all I could say.

— I see you are awake. Can you get up? I bring some food!

— No…

— Don’t you want to eat? The food is pretty good and…

— I can’t get up…

— Oh! I see! Sorry.

He helped me to get on a comfortable position on the bed, with my back over some pillows. He was a fat man with light tan skin with short black hair and dark eyes, and he was wearing blue clothes. He looked old and had a ring on his finger, probably a father with kids in his forty years old.

— What… your name? — I said, still feeling too weak to talk properly.

— I’m John! — He said with a smile. — And you are David, right?

I slightly shook my head affirming it.

— I bring some food to you. Are you hungry?

— What did you bring to me?

— Just porridge. I hope you don’t mind.

— Is there meat on it?

— No, I’m sorry. You can’t eat meat right now.

— That’s good…

He didn’t care to understand that I was being forced to eat human meat before and just took some porridge with a spoon, offering it to me. I open my mouth, with the right side of my face still hurting. When I tasted it, I tear rolled my face.

— Is it that bad? I can ask for them to change it a little…

— No… It's the best thing I've ever had.

— You are lying… right? This isn’t that good.

— You have no idea… Thank you…

I tried to hold myself not to cry and soon I was crying.

— Please, don’t cry — he said holding my hand. — They will not bother you anymore.

I shook my head again, just pretending that I was agreeing with him.

I passed some days there until my body was fully recovered. Day after day, he was a little fatter from the previous day.

— What is making you get so fat? — I asked when he was obviously getting too fat.

— It’s a secret — he said, making a sign for me to hush.

Then I saw the shadow that was possessing him when he moved. The shadow was even bigger than he was. Its light green eyes were big and far from each other, on each side of the thing’s face. Between its eyes, there was this thing that made it look like an elephant trunk, but it ended with a long hand, with long fingers, having two visible elbows. The thing used his trunk hand to pick up the plate used for my dinner and it licked what was left on it, showing its human-like teeth, just as the rabbit shadow had.

— Are you eating something you shouldn’t be eating? — I asked after the shadow was gone.

— Haha… You still want to know about it! Please, don’t talk about it anymore — he turned to the other side, taking the plate with him. — I’m already doing my best here.

— You don’t understand, I… — I tried to touch him putting my hand on his shoulder.

— DON’T TOUCH ME! — He shouted at me as if he was possessed by the shadow, letting the plate fall and break.

— I’m sorry… I…

— I keep coming here every day to help you and this is how you pay me? Asking about my weigh?

— I’m sorry! — I said desperately.

— Enough! This night you are getting out of here and I will no longer be responsible for you!

I jumped out of the bad to hold his arm:

— Please, listen! — I begged. — There’s something bad happening with you! I’m worried about you!

— Leave me alone! — He tried to push me away. — You are just like the others! You want me to lose weight! I’m fine like this! I can take care of myself!

— It’s not about that! There’s something… Do you know about the shadow thing that is right behind you?

— Do you mean the director?

— No… It’s a soul… a dark soul… I’m afraid it’s making you eat too much…

— I’m not eating too much. I’m helping you!

— What? How? — I thought for a minute and I remembered what he said when I cried while eating my first porridge. — Wait… are you… taking care of those guys who did that to me?

— I am… They will never bother you anymore.

— How many of them did you… take care of?

— Twelve.

— Please, stop.

— No. I started it and I will end it,

— Please, no! That is hurting you!

— That’s not hurting me! I’m fine!

— Please, I like you, John… I can’t lose anyone else… The shadow will make you die while doing it… Please, stay with me… Don’t feed the shadow anymore.

— I can’t… If I don’t feed the monster, the monster will eat me…

— Can you… — I was about to cry — Can you promise to me that you will not die while doing it?

— No…

— Please! I’m begging you… Don’t die…

— David, I’m already dying. I need to get rid of them or they will hurt you.

— You are hurting me too… I thought I could be a little happier this time with you taking care of me. I need you here!

— You don’t need me, David. I’m just an old man who lost his family. Don’t worry; I will not let them hurt you anymore.

— How can I say I am your friend if I let you hurt yourself?

— Try to understand, boy, this is what I want… I don’t deserve to be your friend.

— That doesn’t make it any easier… You were like an angel to me after I was in hell… but instead of you going to heaven… I’m seeing you descending to hell… and living me alone. I want you to know… after all these days… you were the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I wish I would be able to show you how much you are important to me. I want to save you from the shadow…

I finally burst into crying. I couldn’t say anything else to John and he didn’t say anything else to me. He helped me to go to the dormitory, showed me the place, and, as his last gift, he gave me a chocolate bar. It was sweet, but I felt its taste was the most bitter in the world.

During the night, I heard the remaining boys being dragged down the hall one by one without any of them waking up. Maybe something in their food, I guess… I remember how they looked at me when I was walking between the beds to find mine. They hated me with not a single doubt and they wished for me to disappear. I saw the shadow thing using its trunk hand to pick them up, I turned to the other side not to see it and I tried to sleep.

When it was still earlier in the morning and I saw the sun had already risen, I turned to see if there was anyone on the beds and I saw all of them empty. I jump out of bed and ran to see if John had survived that night.

He didn’t. When I found him, he was at the showers and he was filled with all the other boys… He was still eating a whole leg when his heart had stopped or something… His body was still digesting all the thirteen bodies and looked like a humongous meat bubble.

— Rest in peace, John — I said. — And thank you…

Holding my cry, I ran back to the dormitory feeling my tears wetting my face.