Someday out of the blue, in a crowded street, or a deserted square, I'll turn and I'll see you as if our love were new, someday we can start again, someday soon

My heart cracked. I bled. Blood pooled at my feet, thick red lakes of it. My heart fell out of its place on the floor, the blood lapping at it.

Peter smiled at me, watching me. I forced myself to stretch out my mouth, a seriously forced smile. "That's brilliant, Peter. . ." I said, and I even I could hear the false happiness in my voice. He grinned even more, his arm hugging my shoulder.

"She's brilliant." He said and I nodded. Please let Adrian take me away from this hell. Peter touched my face, his touch light as he swept a strand of my hair from my cheekbones. "Pretty, too."

I sighed. Who was this mystery girl? Did I even want to know? Yes, I did, I wanted - needed - to know who had taken Peter from me. "Who is she?" My voice trembled, so high I thought it might crack.

Peter sighed. His eyes connected with mine. "Her name is. . . Monica."

He couldn't be talking about that ratty-haired pig who had a project with him, could he? NO. No. Not her. No. No.

Peter. My Peter.

Monica.

Peter and Monica. Monica and Peter. Astrid and Peter. Peter and Astrid.

"Assie. . . I know this must be hard for you." Peter said. I looked up at him, alert. Did he know I liked him? Oh God, please no.

"W - Why would it b - be hard for m - me?" I stammered, my tongue not keeping up with my brain, which was going a mile a minute.

We began walking over to where Adrian was pulling up the car. "Because now you're on your own. Adrian and I both have girlfriends. And you're boyfriendless. Just. . . try to be happy, okay. For me. I'm really happy with Monica. . . I've liked her for some time now and I'm really hoping this relationship will develop and grow. I'm hoping it will be amazing. And I'm sorry I got a girlfriend and you don't have a boyfriend, but . . . It can't be helped. And I hear AJ likes you. You should ask him out!" We reached the car and Peter clambered in. I stood for a second, taking a deep breath. It was a long moment. My world was falling apart. I usually sat in the back with Peter, and it would look weird if I sat in the front with Adrian for the ride. I dithered, considering the options. I was mad at Peter, for sure. He didn't have to make such a point about me being single, and he didn't have to throw all those words at me. Peter rolled down his window. "Assie? Come on, let's go!"

Realizing I'd been standing outside the car for much too long, I got in the back of the car, beside Peter. Adrian turned back and gave me a sympathetic smile. No. I was mad at him too. Why hadn't he warned me? Or given me a heads-up? This was such a mess.

I strapped myself in, the seatbelt hugging my body. Peter pulled out his phone and tapped into it. I'd forgotten my phone like an idiot this morning and now I couldn't hide behind it. He smiled down at his phone and then raised it to his ear. "Hello. . . I've missed you too. . . You should!" He took the phone from his ear and said, "Monica wants to ride with us in the mornings and back from school. What d'you say?"

Adrian was in a lane clogged with traffic. He checked the traffic light before turning around and catching my eye. "Where does she live?"

Peter tailed off the address and with a sinking feeling, I realized she lived closer to him than me. I'd always taken pride in living close to Peter, and occasionally we'd meet up at each other's houses as it took about 15 minutes to walk there - 6 minutes to drive there.

Adrian was mentally calculating the route and he nodded. "Okay. Where would she sit?"

Peter threw his arms over to me. "Astrid, you'd be fine with moving to the front, right?"

I sighed. "More than happy too." Peter's face fell for a second - or maybe I imagined it. He was in a relationship. I had to stop liking him, for my sake and his. Maybe I should try a date with AJ. Or anyone else for that matter. Anyone I could potentially like.

Adrian spun the wheel as the traffic light turned green and we soared down the road. The pavements blurred - from our speed or my tears, I didn't know. I looked out the window, keeping far away from Peter as he continued his phone call.

I started when Adrian pulled in to a grocery store. "Just going to get a few things."

"I'll come too," I said, but Adrian shook his head and got out, locking the car behind him. Great. Thanks Adrian. Now I was stuck in a car with Peter, who was still calling Monica. "See you!" Peter said, then hung up.

He turned to me. "Assie."

I looked at him.

"You don't mind moving up to the front seat, do you?" His eyes searched mine.

I tried to smile. "Of course not! She's your girlfriend!" A pause, then my mouth opened and more words came out. "It's not like I'm your girlfriend, or ever will be, obviously." I regretted those words as soon as I said them.

He looked taken aback, but also relieved. My heart shrank. Was he relieved because I said I was never going to be his girlfriend? Or because his girlfriend could take the front seat? Or both?

He sighed. "You're still my number one girl, Assie." His arm draped over my shoulder and I leaned into him.

Adrian appeared holding a bag of snacks. He got in the car and gave me a pack of pretzels. Peter reached out for something but Adrian turned back to the road and put the bag of snacks on the passenger seat. "Hey!" Peter said, but Adrian didn't give him anything. Instead he shot Peter a look as sour as vinegar doused in acid rain.

Peter didn't say anything else for the whole ride, and neither did Adrian or I. I stared out the window, Peter stared at his phone and Adrian drove. Usually we stopped at Peter's house first but today Adrian pulled up at my house. I gave Peter a smile as I got out, and mouthed Thank you to Adrian. I'll text you later, Adrian mouthed back. I smiled at him and walked into my house. As soon as I opened the door and went inside, tears began spurting down my face and I began to cry.