“Dreaming about a lion means leadership, your thirst for power and self-esteem. Also, it can represent your desire to control people or your fears about being controlled by others.”

— Five years… — said Doctor M. checking the memory file himself and seeing it was really long. — How?

— Most of the time I was drugged and I couldn’t figure it out what was happening — answered π12-45. — I was simply a doll in their hands when I needed to be bathed or fed. I also remember using diapers, after they complained about how I wasn’t able to do it properly anymore. Day after day, I was just there, not feeling any shadow or seeing anyone dying.

— Wait… that probably means…

— You are right. I was enjoying not being free if that meant I was away from the shadows.

— I really can’t understand you. You don’t fight against it, against what was wrong and you let it sink you in it!

— What exactly you want me to do doctor? You can clearly see I wasn’t able to do anything.

— You could fight! You could go against them! You should react!

— I’m not you, doctor, you should remember. You weren’t David, I was. I didn’t feel like that at all! I was way happier for just being there, safer than ever, than thinking about going out, to a world that wasn’t good for me at all! I was alone being haunted by the shadows and there was no one for me there!

— You should’ve looked for someone…

— I didn’t need… Someone looked for me. That was how I could get out of there after so many years…

__________

It was another day in the padded room, waiting for my remedy and they were getting late with it. I forced myself up and asked for it at the closed door:

— What happened to my medicine?

No one answered it. Then, waiting for some more minutes, someone opened the door and a new doctor came to see me.

— Hello — she said smiling. Her hair was dark black and her skin was pale. Her eyes were also dark as a starless night. — My name is Mary and I will be your new doctor.

— Where’s the other one? — I asked, with a weak voice.

— He will be no longer your doctor. He was fired after stealing some drugs.

— He's probably dead by now. His shadow was really taking over him.

— Shadow? — She asked confused.

— Didn’t anyone tell you anything about it? I can see shadow things. They say they are hallucinations though.

— Wait… Are you seeing hallucinations?

— Hum… Yes?

— That’s not right. Your medication isn’t about any hallucinations. It’s to sedate you.

— Yes. The shadows want to keep me here for their own benefits. They seem to like my not-soul soul.

— “Not-soul soul… What’s that?”

— I’m not supposed to be human… When I sleep, I can go back to my world in the year 3’5XX where I’m an android. One day I just wake up being David when he was just ten years old and since then I'd have been coming and go between the two worlds. It’s crazy, don’t you think? — I said smiling to her, in the hope she would just give me my remedy and go away.

— Wow, that’s really crazy! I was almost believing in you! — She said giggling.

— Really? Anyone who was almost believing in me died. Be careful!

She was holding the small plastic cup with the remedy and looking at me… No, she was staring at me.

— What’s your real name then?

— π12-45. I was an engineer, a robot, but after being troubled to live a bad life as David, I couldn’t work properly anymore and I was fired. They didn’t realize I killed my robot body sometimes when I showed myself for work, trying to get back.

— How’s the future?

— I don’t know how to say this…

— You are not a robot, I know…

— I am — I was the one laughing now. — It’s just… I would like to tell you it’s a beautiful place with everyone living happily but… there’s no human anymore in the future I was born. G.O.D eradicates everyone with the sky-nuking bomb when the last humans thought they had won the war against the machines. I was really surprised at finding humans. We knew about them… about you, but only in our books.

— Do you have books in the future?

— Yes, virtual ones. They are just loaded into our memories and we suddenly know everything we want to know. We… We were made by G.O.D to evolve as humans did, to get better on what we want to be and then, when a single body can’t contain all the information anymore, they are loaded into the cloud and start to live as a high self-conscious artificial intelligence, SCAI to be short.

— Wow, that’s impressive.

— I think so. My life was normal in the future… but, like David, I got haunted by shadow things, my hallucinations, and they made my life miserable.

— How those shadows are?

— Most of the time I can see something clearly black in front of me and they have some characteristics that are part human part animal. I noticed they aren’t really black, but something that is trying to form a physic body on this plane, as the shadows are just energy bodies, without any matter to sustain them. Then, feeding with human energy, fluids, and even meat or the whole human body, they can form their disfigured bodies a little more properly. I heard they are human souls trapped in their deepest desires, like killing, eating or anything really bad and they still want to do those things. Even though they are dead, they are forcing themselves against death and they can control weak humans to do what they want, planting in their minds thoughts that aren’t theirs and it’s really horrifying how they can destroy peoples’ lives in front of your eyes.

— That’s scary. Don’t you fear those shadows?

— I don’t know… not anymore. They frightened me for so long now that I’m just used to it and all I want now is to go back to sleep a little more and let the time pass by.

I reached out my head looking to the remedy in her hands and she just held it back.

— I’m sorry… I can’t… This fell so wrong… There’s something wrong with you!

— Yes. I killed my cousin and some other people. I need my medicine so, please, can you just give it to me?

— No one here wants to take their medicine… Why do you want to take it?

— I am a bad person. I did something really bad. Please! I’m begging you! I need them to sleep!

— I can’t! — She quickly went out of the padded room.

— Hey! My medicine! — I shouted to her as the door was closed. — Please! My medication! You forgot my medication!

I begged for them to give it to me nonetheless and no one ever responded to me. It was a pretty bad day for me, as I couldn’t sleep at all that night. Or day, I have no idea.

With some time to think for myself, I occupied my mind with math and chemistry trying to figure it out some numbers just to see if I could remember them properly. Definitely, I can’t think like a robot when I am a human. After that, when I was almost remembering my π number, Doctor Mary came back with some food. After I ate something, I asked about my medication:

— I can’t give it to you — she said.

— Why not? It wasn’t making anything bad to me. Not thinking on the shadows was a relief. I wouldn’t mind living here like that for the rest of my life.

— No… That’s wrong! You should be free…

— No! You don’t understand! This cell is not to keep me from outside! Is to keep them outside!

— I have been searching for your history… The orphanage and the reformatory you have been, they have closed some months ago. They were closed because they were not complying with government regulations and they didn’t comply with them for years. Look at you! You are just a young man, but you look like an old man, with fifty years or more! You weren’t treated well here and this needs to change.

— Oh great, more suffering for my poor life!

— Do you even know how many years you have been living here?

— No. I… I’m just happy not being able to be close to those shadows anymore. Please, you need to give my medicine back. I couldn’t sleep at all last night!

— Last night? I was here in the morning, it’s still afternoon right now.

— I don’t care! I couldn’t sleep at all in the last years before being throw here! I’m finally away from the shadows, from their eating noises and everything bad they did… Please, spare me… You will only make me suffer even more…

— You aren’t like the others… You think so clearly about yourself, you know why you here! Even our worst patient can go outside and you are the only one who can’t get out of the padded room.

— How I’m not the worst patient? — All I could think was that I should find a way to convince her that I was a bad person.

— You never were described as a psychopath. You have hallucinations but you were described as being able to realize that you have done something bad. You wanted to change. You aren’t a bad person, you probably is just a schizophrenic. You have lost your notion about reality and being here will only do bad things to you. I will make a new test on you and you will see you don’t deserve to be here.

— I don’t care if a deserve it or not… It was the first time I was in peace living as a human! The shadows don’t want to get close to me here. I… I don’t want to see them anymore. Please, let me die here…

A tear rolled her face and she cleaned it up.

— Don’t you want to come out and see the sky again? — She asked me emotionally touched.

— If I see any shadow… it means you will die… or worse…

— You don’t need to care about me — she went out and brought a wheelchair. — It will be fast, I promise.

She helped me to get on the chair and for the first time in years, I was about to see the sky again. I didn’t expect anything new about the sky, it was probably the same as before… and yet, I was curious about it. Living with a straightjacket was uncomfortable, but just thinking about doing something that was supposed to be normal again was… making me happy. I don’t know. I can’t tell you exactly what it was about… I didn’t expect it. All I could do was to see people passing by on the asylum’s corridor, feeling the horror about seeing the shadows consuming their lives and I felt them looking at me.

On the outside, the sun almost set and the sky was pretty reddish with some dark blue shades on the opposite side. It was so beautiful. I suddenly felt a tear rolling down my face with its warmness and I didn’t understand why. I didn’t want to cry, I didn’t feel I should be crying.

— It’s beautiful, isn’t it? — Doctor Mary said. — Every time I’m sad, I come to see the sky and let my bad thoughts go away with the breeze.

— Thank you… — I said, without expecting any reaction from her.

She got a little down, sitting on a near bench, looking into my eyes.

— Tomorrow I will bring you here, so you can have a sunbathing. Is that okay for you?

— I can’t say yes. The shadows who were controlling the other persons we saw at the corridor already noticed I was passing by. They will come after me and soon someone will die.

— You don’t need to worry about anything. They were just your imagination. They weren’t there.

— I know but…

Suddenly, I felt the temperature drop quickly, my breathing was getting heavier and I knew someone was getting closer. Something huge.

— What you are doing Mary! — He said with an angry voice from behind me, where I couldn’t see. — It’s late!

She walked away from my sight.

— I just brought David here for a walk and… — she said.

— What? No, no, no! David wasn’t supposed to get out of the padded cell at all! You know the rules!

— Joseph, he isn’t a bad person. He isn’t violent. He’s just schizophrenic!

— He’s not schizophrenic! He’s our worse patient, Mary! You read his history!

— But Joseph! You know from where he came! We need to make new tests on him! He was inside that room for five years!

“Five years?” I thought to myself. “Five years already? That can’t be… Already five years?” I couldn’t stand that idea right away, but as things looked like that, I didn’t complain about it. Eventually, five years without seeing the sky was something really strong over me. There were beautiful things to see in life and I was just closing myself away from them. I may not need them as a robot, as an android, but I needed them as a human.

I tried to move to see what they were talking and when I looked back, there were something dark pretty close to me, looking at me. I felt the goosebumps again and I started to talk to myself.

— It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real… — the shadow thing moved and it was still looking at me. Its huge and long body was thin as a skeletal person, walking all fours, moving like a crazy person moving his/her arms and legs irregularly, as if they had not been used yet. However, its face was the most disturbing part of the body. I could see a human face with a ripped smile going up the cheeks, its nose was a huge hole, and its eyes were about to come out of their holes. As if that wasn’t creepy enough, its messy and dirty hair was covering it a little, giving it a crazier look. — Please, don’t kill her… Please, don’t kill her… Please, don’t kill her…

— What did he say? — Asked Joseph.

— I didn’t hear him. You are always complaining about everything! — She came closer to see me and talked to me. — Is everything okay, David?

— No… It’s not… There’s a horrible shadow thing right there and it’s looking at me — my eyes got wet with tears. — Please, don’t kill her… Please, don’t kill her… Please, don’t kill her…

— Why you brought him here Mary? — Complained Joseph. — Did you give him his medication?

— Even if I had given it to him, it wouldn’t work! That’s what I’m trying to say! His medication was enough to put an elephant to sleep! But they weren’t treating him!

— That’s not how I doctor is supposed to do his work, Mary!

— No! No! No! — I said, seeing the shadow getting closer to us again. — Please! Go away! — I screamed with all my weak voice.

— See? — Said Mary. She holds onto the wheelchair and was about to turn me to the other side when the shadow screamed, making a horrible sound that made my bones frozen. — What was that?

— Aaah…! — I screamed too, feeling desperate.

— Calm down, David! — She said. — It was… It was just a monkey! Yeah, a monkey! They live nearby on the trees and…

— Get me back there… Get me back there… — I said, still looking at the shadow thing and it was about to scream again. — No… it will scream!

We all heard the horrible scream and this time it sounded like a crazy woman screaming. Even Doctor Mary put her hands on his ears to not hear it as loud as the sound was. She moved me and I finally looked at Joseph. I couldn’t see his face. It was covered with the shadow face as well.

I looked at him and said:

— I’m sorry…

— Why you are sorry? — He said, still with an angry voice.

— It got you… The thing who screamed… It’s all over you…

I couldn’t stop looking at him all the way to my room. When I was inside the room and locked again, I heard the scream once more, and it was right behind my door. When it stopped, I realized something:

— My medicine! You forgot my medicine!

It was a really long night…